Alcoholism Doesn’t Need To Run Your Life With Dr. Robb Kelly
“Unless you have brain damage, everybody can become a champion, everybody can achieve their dreams.”
In this episode, Nick speaks with Dr. Robb Kelly, who came from a family of alcoholics, falling into alcoholism himself. When he drank, he felt like he could take on anything. He drank and then auditioned to be a bass player for several bands. Not remembering he auditioned, he received a job offer from one of those bands.
That proved to him that he was better when drinking, so keep it up. With more drinking, came more problems though. He lost everything: his job, his wife, his kids, and his home.
Dr. Robb Kelly was out on the streets, drinking and wishing his life would end. It wasn’t until he had a spiritual awakening that his life turned around.
He was ready to get better, he was ready to kick drinking to the curb for good and was ready to help others overcome their addictions.
About Dr. Robb Kelly
Robb is a renowned Addiction Expert. Born and raised in Manchester, UK, who is eccentric, no holds bar, successful, and places his patients first kind of man.
Robb is Meadows Trained in Trauma and holds a double Ph.D. It is necessary for the family to work along with the patient- we uncover the family chaos and dynamics to better resolve addiction.
Also, Robb takes time to mentor entrepreneurs because he knows what kind of mindset it takes to run a successful company.
Resources:
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Your Friends at “The Mindset & Self-Mastery Show”
Nick McGowan
Hello and welcome to The Mindset and Self-mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. And on this show, my guests and I unpack the stories that shape us, the lives that we lead on our path to self-mastery. So let’s not wait any longer. Let the games begin.
Nick McGowan
Hey, Dr. Robb, welcome to the show. How are you doing?
Dr. Robb Kelly
Thanks Nick doing amazing today, guys. Absolutely amazing. Looking forward to this all day, that’s for sure.
Nick McGowan
Well, I’m excited that you’re here. I know we’ve had to push this around a couple of times, scheduling wise and all, but hey, here we are. And I’m excited to get into everything. I know you’ve done a lot of different shows and you’ve probably gone through a lot of different stuff in these different shows that you’ve been on.
Nick McGowan
But more than that, I know you’ve been through a lot in life, so I’m excited to get into the background and really some of the wisdom that you’ve kind of figured out over the course of time. So I don’t want to steal your thunder, man. Why don’t you tell us what do you do for a living and what’s one thing that most people don’t know about you that’s maybe odd or bizarre?
Dr. Robb Kelly
What I do for a living is I’m I’m a doctor specializing in addiction and trauma and mindset. So I have five practices around the world pretty well now. I deal with high end clients. And so, yeah, just have a good often alcoholic myself who lost everything. What most people don’t know about me is I used to be the bass player.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Abbey Road Studios in London. Yes. Why? The Beatles played. I played with Elton John, David Bowie and Queen. And I was actually upstairs in the Savoy Hotel in the penthouse suite when that famous phone call from Elton John I was sat next to him down to the manager of the hotel, asking him if he doesn’t stop the rain immediately, he will not walk into this hotel ever again.
Nick McGowan
Oh, man, that is cool. That is not something that would just typically come up at random, even bar conversation. Because how the fuck would you get into that without somebody asking you a question like that? So how do you get into what you’re doing today coming from what seems like a musician’s background?
Dr. Robb Kelly
Well, I was born in Manchester and my side Manchester, be correct. In the UK, I’ve been in America about 15 years, but I’m an alcoholic, you know. Alcoholism runs in the family and and I haven’t drank for some time now. But, you know, it took everything off me as I went through. And one of the reasons I do what I do, where I do it so passionately is when I was going through the stuff myself, nobody was there to help me.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Nobody comes up and says, Hey, listen, if you do this, this might happen. Everyone turned their back and I lost everything. A man of cars. How is his wife’s children and homeless. And you know when I’m swarts and I self and to God if I ever come back up the streets because I did my research. 97% of people on Piccadilly Gardens in Manchester UK die on the streets.
Dr. Robb Kelly
I was one of the 3% have made it off. After 14 months I made it off the streets and I’m passionate about this shit, man. You know, I’m really passionate, bold and an aggressive. Sometimes if you want to get well, if you want to achieve your dreams, if you want to change your mindset, neural pathways, basal ganglia and hypothalamus, I’m your guy.
Dr. Robb Kelly
If you don’t go away, I’m not interested in you.
Nick McGowan
I mean, it makes sense that I get as you go through shit in life and you figure things out, you become deeply passionate about it because the fucking craziness you’ve been through. So I hear different people at times. They, they’ve been through some things, but they haven’t fully processed through it. And you could tell that it didn’t really affect them in such a way to move them.
Nick McGowan
So I love when I have people on that are that are moving in such a way. Now, you talk about being from Manchester. I don’t know. It’s like there with the overall speed of people. I’m from the northeast of the U.S. and Philadelphia and we typically fucking move pretty quickly and we’re typically pretty passionate people. So I’m akin to that.
Nick McGowan
I feel where you’re going. One of the biggest things that really stood out, even bringing you on in the show was the alcoholism that runs in the family. I think a lot of people don’t want to fucking look at that. They don’t want to think about their mom or dad or whoever being an alcoholic. Because in that not only reflects on them poorly, but it also points out that they’re probably an alcoholic, too.
Nick McGowan
Did you have struggles as you were going through that or was it just you basically got to the end of the road and you’re standing on the street going, Fuck, I need to do something different.
Dr. Robb Kelly
I came slowly. Alcoholism trace is wasn’t invented in the seventies and eighties when I went through it. And it’s a couple of things you need to know, guys. Alcoholism, alcoholics are born drug addicts and alcoholics 1% to do with alcoholism, the same with drugs. It’s all mindset. So neuroscience, it’s all neuroplasticity. So when I did lose everything and go through all that shit, I just knew that somehow.
Dr. Robb Kelly
And I don’t know, to be honest, Nick, how somehow I would end up where I am today, you know, just to just to change people’s mind. I build champions, we build empires together, you know, the alcohol that’s come from the first day. Five out of my six patients today and alcoholics are addicts. You just guys, you can’t get to a certain level high class psych CEOs and taking them to the next level.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Because if you mix neuroscience with quantum physics, which is what you do and you’re a plus in a state with a brain sputtering, you realize and here we go, guys, that you can have anything you want in life and that I have a cool video that shows live inside somebody’s brain of the neural pathways connecting. You see the neural pathways and most people don’t know this for successful well, for judgment, for happy, for families.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Everything is already in your brain. What most people never do in their life is never connect it. We specialize it in connecting in neural pathways. The rest is easy.
Nick McGowan
So having some initial conversation with somebody and I’m not expecting you to give secret sauce, but again, some sort of tactical take away for this. What would you suggest for somebody that’s thinking through that now? We’re not ready to have that conversation with somebody like yourself. What can they do on their own?
Dr. Robb Kelly
Well, just believe in yourself, first of all, and then just watch your behavior. You know, you can change it when you start changing other people’s lives by compliment them by saying hello, whatever it may be, then you start to change yourself. You will know when you’re ready. We turn people down, more people down that we do take off because you have to be ready to send things.
Dr. Robb Kelly
And don’t anybody tell you different. Don’t let anybody force you into anything. It’s not going to work right now because it will sit in. The subconscious brain is a failure. So failure is a good when you get back up again. But with mindset, you’ve got to be real careful and only take so many hits once before. Every single time that self-sabotage will kick off internal dialog will kick off in your head every couple of days, couple weeks, four months, whatever it is, and it will destroy you.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Because if I keep telling you every day you’re a piece of shit, guess what? You’re going to start to fucking believe it.
Nick McGowan
Yeah, yeah. And I think too many of us, we just beat the shit out of ourselves for almost no good fucking reason. We just kind of beat the hell out of ourselves. And it’s been brought up so many different times. But if you had a friend or an acquaintance that talk to you the way that you talk to yourself, you’d have a restraining order against them.
Nick McGowan
You would have to. They’re fucking crazy. So let’s take a little bit of a step back, though. When you were a musician, a musician as well, I think drugs, alcohol, sex, all of that just kind of goes along with the instruments at times. So being able to step outside of that, was that really when you were still in into the music side of things or were you far out with that at that point?
Dr. Robb Kelly
Now, what I was thinking, my diction, Abbey Road, I was digging my addiction homeless, I was taking my addiction to college, university. And, you know, it kind of gets a grip out of the without. You see what happened with the Abbey Road as I went for an audition for the house bass player and I had to pay for what you know so nervous I had a bad give me courage went and got a second one the second time I went.
Dr. Robb Kelly
There are two bands for the second NC. It makes sense to me. I got it on the first one. I had seven auditions for that position, so I had seven bars for I went in for my audition. I don’t remember it blacked out completely. Next day, woke up in my bedroom at home and I got a letter a week later.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Say, you got the job. What does that tell me? It tells me when I drink, I’m fucking awesome, you know? And that’s how it gets you on. All of a sudden it starts turn on you and get done. Absolutely done. And again, 1% to do with any kind of disease or any kind of mindset or mental shift, neural pathways shift.
Dr. Robb Kelly
It’s all the same stuff. It’s just just because he’s an alcoholic, the treatment for him and the CEO wants to, you know, double his income in the next two years. The treatment up from here is still the same because it’s not about the alcohol or drugs or cake or food or porn. It’s about mindset and mindset only. And our brains turn on us everything.
Dr. Robb Kelly
I would say definitely the alcoholic brain is born with three parts different to anybody else. Is the amygdala, the hypothalamus and the basal ganglia a set differently to any other person in the world? Alcoholics. It’s hereditary, is passed down from generation to generation. That’s the only difference.
Nick McGowan
So knowing that now being able to look back at what you’ve been through and that your parents must have had some alcoholism in their in their lineage, how do you then make that change outside of the simple side of just become aware of it and do something different? What can you actually do to make that change?
Dr. Robb Kelly
When I was going through it, I was done. When I was on the streets, kids taken off me, everything gone. Nobody checked my calls. People would lock the door when I call the police. I was done. I didn’t want to get off. I didn’t want help. I was dumped. I tried to commit suicide seven times and interrogations have succeeded.
Dr. Robb Kelly
My heart stopped on the side of an old, stinky, rainy, wet road in Manchester and the fuckers brought me back to life again. I hated them guys for that. Hated it. So mine wasn’t a conscious decision to get. Well, I had a huge what they call a spiritual awakening in Manchester one morning in the pouring rain when I was gone.
Dr. Robb Kelly
I mean, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was done and that’s what happened to me. And if you’re going through anything that most people most people operate on 35% of what they can truly operate on doesn’t matter what you do for a living, how successful you are. There’s 30 people in the world that play at their best, whether it be football, rock, music, whatever you you can play 100% capacity.
Dr. Robb Kelly
You start to see the world for what it is and you start to see how the world works and how the patterns work and that you really can have anything that you want. It’s obviously a price, a price to pay for every fan. But if you want to be the CEO of a football, there’s a way that you can get that.
Dr. Robb Kelly
And it’s 100% guaranteed, you know, and that’s what we’re passionate about, is getting people and reuniting families to where they need to be, not where that where they’ve lost. And just life is just, oh god, it’s Monday. Oh God, it’s Tuesday. That’s not the way to live life. I went to bed last night was 19. I woke up this morning of 61.
Dr. Robb Kelly
That’s how fast life goes. You haven’t got time, guys. Believe me, you have.
Nick McGowan
Yeah. It’s it’s an interesting balance to try to find how you can understand that you. We’re all moral, you know, mortal, and we’re going to die at some point. So it’s not like we have an infinite amount of time. You also want to stress yourself the fuck out how some people get almost crippled by, you know, I could die tomorrow or I have an extended period of time, I’m not going to do a damn thing.
Nick McGowan
So being able to find that balance is there’s a sweet spot to it. It takes a lot of people getting to a point where they go, Fuck it, I’ve had enough. I need to put something in place here. But how would you suggest that somebody actually do some of that before they get to the point where they’re either on the street or their kids are taken away or whatever that looks like?
Dr. Robb Kelly
Dialog is the most important thing. You know, if you’re in that mindset is this broken, you need to start dialog with somebody and immediately, you know, whether it be drugs, whatever it is, the mindset needs changing. You need to start dialog. That’s all you need to start doing. And then when you’re ready for help, you know, we’re also a referral company, so we only taken four patients any one time.
Dr. Robb Kelly
So it’s very unlikely going to game with us. But we will firm, you know, call the website. My wife answers the phone. She’ll speak to you all day long about it. You know, we’re here to help. So it’s just moving forward and realizing that you actually bond for better things that than what you do. You see, some people don’t have to shift.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Some people are okay with the way they’re born. My brother is just like my daddy. Gorby had some kids. He worked for the shop around the corner. He can afford to go out on a Friday night, only he just enough money to get five beers and go home to anyone that I didn’t want. Now, I saw the go for what it was.
Dr. Robb Kelly
I saw that you could take anything you want to take. So a lesson if you’re at home and you want to make. Well, first of all, if you’re at home in this position, I want to apologize to you because somebody that knows my bond with million dollar means stop fucking hanging around sand, set mines, get some get some guys around you.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Show me your friends, I’ll show you your future. Start discussing your problems and then get all them a professional. Call us, well, directs you, but you have to do something. And our research and studies over the last 30 years show a timeframe of 7.3 seconds whenever we’re going to do anything. That’s how the brain works. If I’m going to stay on the sofa, I’m in chips, I’m drinking this big, you know, soda.
Dr. Robb Kelly
That’s not good for me. And I’m watching TV and I go, Oh, wifey, I need to go to the gym tomorrow. I’m not going to go. And that’s one thing happens within that time frame. I walk to the bedroom, I’ll get my stuff, I’ll put it in and put it near the door for the next morning. Now I’m going to go to the gym the next day, but we procrastinate and that’s why I’m good.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Procrastination and isolation is what we got into over the last couple of years.
Nick McGowan
Yeah, it’s funny you bring that up. I use that very often because that was something I had to do to get myself into the gym after a handful of years years ago was like, I’m just going to put my shit near the door and here I am. But it’s also just like on the mental side, it’s still a workout.
Nick McGowan
It’s more of a workout mental wise than it is physical because we’re constantly being worked every single moment of the day and we tend to just let the shit fucking roll and subconscious kind of takes over and goes from there, but we’re able to actually control that. So bouncing from where you were as a musician then, losing everything and kind of being on that tough spot.
Nick McGowan
But now that, you know, that the alcoholism was in your in your blood, it was literally passed down to you. How does your relationship with your parents differ when you know where they were and kind of what they were going through.
Dr. Robb Kelly
And I kind of after I felt sorry for them a little bit. You know, I hate to say, you know, our parents did our best fuck. You know, they didn’t want parents, but nobody does, you know, let me know at nine, ten years old that we have a problem in the family would have been the best thing. But it is what it is.
Dr. Robb Kelly
I changed the generational loads of generational people from talking. But, you know, it’s just nobody’s prepared for it. When the golden boy in the family turns out to be an old drunk, you know who stabbed his wife three times one night because she wouldn’t let him finish his bottle of vodka? That guy, you know, it’s a disappointment to everybody who blames him.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Well, coming through everything I’ve been through, I don’t think there’s any blame. I just think that, you know, I look at my mum, an alcoholic. I look at my cousin alcoholic, like my dad’s brother was a chronic alcoholic. You know, cousins, an alcoholic I see in the family, you know, and it’s going to ruin the family. I mean, I was like a contagious disease man.
Dr. Robb Kelly
I infected everybody that I came across with my disease. And it’s the same with small thinking and it’s the same with, you know, you get you get an office full of people, ten people in there and a thriving. You get one person there that starts to have a debt. It’s like a cancer. All of a sudden the whole office is laid back and nothing is much work, you know.
Dr. Robb Kelly
So that’s that’s what seem to happen in my family. But I don’t know.
Nick McGowan
Yeah, if only it was, if it only worked on the opposite side of that where being that light shared a lot faster. But it’s not. It’s the negative side and the darkness kind of takes that stuff over. But it also it’s interesting to hear how you seem like that type of person where you just you’re fucking all in on the things you’re all in on.
Dr. Robb Kelly
All in.
Nick McGowan
All. And being able to switch from I’m not going to do this anymore, hurt myself now. I’m going to help people and be able to do that. I get where some of that aggression comes from because yeah, once you’re on that path and you’re running with it, that’s huge. That’s the reason why I was asking about going back to your parents.
Nick McGowan
My mom’s an alcoholic. I don’t know if she believes she is, but it’s there. And I know that I’ve had those tendencies where I’ve recently actually stopped. I think it’s been 45, 47 days today. One of those things where I noticed that there was a problem and notice it was coming from that and having that conversation with her, she’s not ready to have that conversation with herself.
Nick McGowan
So that’s why I was asking the relationship that you have at your parents. I can get where you look at and go, Hey, that must have been tough, but did you have that conversation with them to know, Hey, I, this is what I got from you, but that’s okay because I’m working through it. Or was it fuck you guys.
Nick McGowan
That’s what you gave me.
Dr. Robb Kelly
I was angry at the time. I was on the streets and they turned their back on me. I was angry for a long time after that and he certainly when I had a conversation with her mum, something happened with my dad when I lost everything going to my parents house in the last three days and my dad threw me out 2:00 in the morning pair of shorts.
Dr. Robb Kelly
It gave me £10 and said, You’ve got to go, son. And he locked the door behind there. Never passed that house from many, many years. But I remember many years later when I sat with my mum and dad’s in the bar, you know, around the corner and in the, in the club. And I said to my mum I said, you know, I time that through me.
Dr. Robb Kelly
I was, I hated that man. I still do I think Mum and this is what she said to me, she said son in 50 odd years of being married to your father, that’s the only time I’ve seen him cry. So I knew there was that both ways, you know. And I made my amends and I said, I’m sorry.
Dr. Robb Kelly
And, you know, it’s not your guy’s fault because I suffer from it in the house that they didn’t know it was trauma. You know, when when I did that was to drop us off at their friend’s and when that when my mum and dad left the avenue going to the bar. We just have to play the run around, make it game, which meant I’m dressed in the chair.
Dr. Robb Kelly
I don’t see any reason for that. I didn’t think that was trauma. I didn’t think it was trauma many years ago on a bodybuilding night. Mr. England Absolutely amazing body would never take my top off the like was what would you you know to share that piece because of the fucking trauma that I suffered so when you put them two together you realize what an effect that that trauma is.
Dr. Robb Kelly
That one is traumas then have such a huge part in your life today. Like if you if you want to become somebody a discipline and you’re not doing it, it’s because of trauma. They should go back and should start like shiver me to uncover discovering discard of that shit. And that’s what I’ve found with Mum and Dad is I made my, my memories properly with my dad only about six years ago and five years ago a, a Alzheimer’s.
Dr. Robb Kelly
And a year ago he died. Never got to make amends to my mom. She died maybe 14 years ago. Never got to make amends. But we get out a few nice conversations, you know. But it’s tough, man. You know, it’s tough. It’s just it’s crazy.
Nick McGowan
Yeah. And that’s a that’s tough shit. Especially, you know, you can’t see from other people’s eyes. You can theorize sometimes, like put yourself in their shoes in a sense. But to hear from your mom that that was the first time that she saw your dad cry. That’s not the angle that you had. The angle you had was him slamming the door and you being on your fucking own and knowing that there was that behind that.
Nick McGowan
I love the humility of that because that’s something that a lot of people will kind of hide. And that’s deep trauma. That trauma probably also stemmed from his childhood as well. As you alluded to. You know, it all fucking gets back to the childhood trauma. Now, how do you walk people through on a smaller scale to be able to go back and deal with that trauma?
Nick McGowan
Well, give us some tactical for the audience.
Dr. Robb Kelly
We use a lot of tools to go back and see most of the trauma. First of all, he’s not understood. He don’t know what trauma is, what the effect has. And the second one is it’s locked in the subconscious brain because we don’t really deal with trauma it straight away. If you look at a deer being hit by a car that doesn’t die, that they don’t get something unusual, what happens?
Dr. Robb Kelly
He stays on the floor for a couple of seconds, then he’ll jump up and then what happens next is very important to trauma. He shakes violently for about 30 seconds and he runs off. That will cross the same road at the same car tomorrow, same time and get hit, because he has no fear of that, because he got rid of his trauma right there.
Dr. Robb Kelly
And then human beings don’t do that. We stuff it down with stuff it down with stuff it down. So it’s about using tools like brain spotting, neuro neuroplasticity. And he said and changing neural pathways and using somatic experience and you know NLP and an original psychology to go back and take him back and all our work is online with whatever you have only you can take them back and you need to deal with it.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Go back to that five or six, you know, see what’s going on, see what that was, trauma and how I mean, here’s an example. I have £93 sneakers. Why? I don’t know. I’ll just buy sneakers, you know. But why don’t I don’t just just buy sneakers? There was trauma, Nick. When I was a kid, about nine or ten.
Dr. Robb Kelly
My mom can’t afford shoes and socks all but twice a year. So towards the five or six months before we got new shoes, I had holes in my shoes and holding us up for walking to school in the snow. Now my mum used to cut round cardboard box the shape of the shoe. She used to put the shed that they can’t vote in and I’d walk to school, but halfway there it’d be soaked through sopping wet when the counselor said to me, Well, what about Mum and Dad?
Dr. Robb Kelly
Don’t try to do something. Where do they go? And I said, Oh, they go to the pub to get drunk with the friends. This is what she said to me. Did Mum and Dad have holes in their socks and shoes when they went to the pub at night time? Do you think it opened a river? I cried and cried and cried and cried.
Dr. Robb Kelly
But. But you see the effect that I didn’t know today. My wife things. Why are you buying so many fucking sneakers? That’s because. Why I think about that. Recently we all have the trauma and it’s attached for any behavior that’s uncommon.
Nick McGowan
That’s a beautiful way to put that to, especially to be aware of it, because there are people that buy a lot of different things and don’t think about it. They just think, Yeah, I just really I’m into shoes. That’s my thing. That’s what I’m into. And that’s about the extent that they go with it instead of asking deeper and going deeper to it.
Nick McGowan
Now, when you go back through and you’ve relived through some of that trauma, you’re not actually sitting in it. Right? You’re watching the movie. But what sort of what sort of conversation are you having with little old you from the adult you? What’s that conversation sort of look like? Are the pieces.
Dr. Robb Kelly
As powerful as well? It’s powerful, you know, I mean, we have to walk people through this before there’s any further damage because trauma causes all sorts of crazy stuff in the brain. And it also causes depression, as we know. But most people don’t understand the brain when it comes to depression and stuff like that. We need for chemicals every day to produce every day.
Dr. Robb Kelly
And this is trauma for you. Can’t you cannot you cannot achieve flakiness without these full chemicals. And you cannot have these four chemicals while you have trauma. So you’ve got to look at endorphins as the GMP dopamine reward. Pleasure thank you. Complain somebody don’t please release. Serotonin is our social belonging in some way. Oxytocin is our cuddling with human beings.
Dr. Robb Kelly
So what happens is somebody starts to get depressed and depressed. Go to the doctor, goes to the doctor, gives him a so he goes on medications. Thank you. Pharmaceutical companies now he’s stuck in on medication for his life. Now he gets back to normal. Why the fuck is nobody asking the question? Hey, Johnny, why the fuck is your serotonin law in the first place?
Dr. Robb Kelly
Nobody’s asking that. That’s what we do. We ask the questions and I go, Oh, wow. Yeah, all that say, say I’m. I’m the mouth for this company. I will fucking take you down if you try and put my methods. You know, that’s just crazy. I will tell you down with science. I will tell you down with over 8000 patients with that that are all recovered from alcoholism, their own life mindset has changed, whatever it is, because it’s the understanding that unless you have brain damage, everybody can become a champion, everybody can achieve their dreams.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Every single body that comes to me is 100% success rate. You know, we’re the only company in the world as a 97% success rate. The rest are about two or 3%. We’re the only company in the world that offer a money back guarantee. If you continue to do our program and relapse, the only company in the world that does that, why?
Dr. Robb Kelly
Because we fucking know our shit. We know what makes them treatments and smell and we’ve got some great training treatments, don’t get me wrong, but we use half of a minute from money and nothing to the person. How do we change that brain? Central nervous system. That’s behavior of the person that needs to be here but only think is here.
Dr. Robb Kelly
And that’s the learned behavior we got. We got a huge mason jar. We stuck a thousand fleas in because I’d heard of this experiment. I couldn’t believe it. We’ve got this screw cap, we punch it holes. We left it for three days. Now fleas can jump three, four, four for no problems. Then we uncapped it not one flea and not charge higher than where the cat was.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Okay, that’s pretty interesting. But what was mind blowing is that when they had babies in that jar, the babies would jump higher than where the lid was. And they’ve never seen the lid. So see how we get this from our parents and caregivers. Show me your friends are showing you future. You know, the people you hang around with matter.
Dr. Robb Kelly
How many times have you had a mum say, Oh, he’s hanging around with the background for what? Get him out of there because he’s going to be fucking wrong with you. Somehow, someway. Our parents dropped the ball after the Second World War about 40, 50 years ago. They didn’t know how to control the that many births. And then after the Second World War that, you know, nobody knew about trauma.
Nick McGowan
Yeah, I think everybody knew that there was trauma. It just people didn’t actually want to fucking talk about it, which is part of the major issue and you’re not talking about it, therefore nobody else is talking about it. Therefore, the entire group of humans aren’t really talking about it. But there’s a small group now. We’re starting to see some of that open up there.
Nick McGowan
Some people I think, are taking the too fucking far where they’re just almost selfish with it instead of looking for healing in to help others. What you talked about at a simple form, it’s not solving the fucking symptoms, it’s the problem. It’s solving the core problem. That’s the thing to do where a lot of pharmaceuticals and other companies like that, they just want to solve the symptoms or at least appease the symptoms because then that keeps you coming back.
Nick McGowan
So I love that. I love the fact that you’re like, look, we’re going to get straight to the fucking core.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Yeah. And we’re like, split, people call me a recipe for I’m going to ship anyway, but people do because you’ve got to tell them truth. You know, nobody’s telling the truth anymore about this illness or the other disease or the depression, like you said, that the alcohol, the food, the sex upon the everything, mindset, depression, everything is the symptom of what’s really going on.
Dr. Robb Kelly
What the fuck was fucking really going on here, you know, why aren’t you performing at this level and you only at this level? And then we find out something’s happened in your life that you’ve hit that top where the fleas can jump out. And what we do is we fucking take you out and fly you away to fucking the moon with what you can do.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Every human being is capable of changing the world, every human being you know and I often get this as well. Well, I can’t be president of the United States. I used to get that. It’s like I don’t give a fuck what your personal political views are. We had a business forum in the country. Don’t tell me you can’t do anything from homeless to here.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Come on. Really? I’ve lived through that. My. My patients never come to me, and I don’t. They can do it, Doctor. They never. I would slap them so fucking hard. They won’t know it is because mindset is everything, you know. It really is. There was there was a trial at a school in England many years ago and the scientific lab came into the school and they said, we have a test, an exam that will tell you the top three, these one, eight, nine, ten year olds tell you the top three in your school are going to go on to be captains of industries, famous million billionaires, even.
Dr. Robb Kelly
This is back four years ago and they said, we’d love to know that. So the next day they came to give everybody a test sheet. Everybody did the test. They were all covered up and they said, we’ll be back tomorrow with the results. And they came back. They said, Here’s your top three. Jonny Watts. Jonny Yeah. Belly Oh, are you is that test belly and Susan Oh okay I can see Susan will be back in 12 it time to see how it all went and sure enough they turned out the children this time how’s our three students?
Dr. Robb Kelly
And the headmaster was like, oh my God, how the hell did you know how have guns at an off of college. He’s 12 years old if you had they all did amazing these three students so they said, listen, we need to know about this test. You know, we need to know we can we could sell it worldwide and and the scientific research lab said to him, well, actually, it wasn’t a test.
Dr. Robb Kelly
It was all fake. We threw all the exams away. And then when we left, he in the trash can. So they had myself I don’t understand how come the three I don’t understand and the scientists laugh said then free is successful because you thought they were successful and you treated them as successful and because you did somebody, because that’s all there is to it.
Dr. Robb Kelly
You know, some of your friends look at the circle around you, dialog with people and don’t give a shit what people think. I’m going to start our business off really. You know, I was in Dallas, Texas. I’m thinking of writing a book, guys, with Mike or Robin on offer, at least you could write You Can’t Do that takes years to write a book never wrote a make the time to San Antonio three years ago.
Dr. Robb Kelly
And you guys thinking of writing a book? Fuck yeah, I would so read that book. I wrote a book you say? So it’s very important. The people around us. You will pop that if you if you’re on 20 grand a year and want to and 40 start hanging around the guys and 40 grand a year and so on and so on and so on.
Dr. Robb Kelly
And so you get to that place. Every mind can be changed. I rewired the brain and so does my staff to every person that wants it there. And it’s simple. Everybody doesn’t want to talk about it like you said, or don’t think that bad or Yeah, I’m not going to go and seek help, help for my depression all my because no, I never was embarrassed.
Dr. Robb Kelly
That’s why we went to telehealth full time. It’s like I can get in your mind within 4 minutes when you’re so many comfy pajamas we teach you on the backdrop you notice some lives. Amazing. It’s all about money. So it’s all about a human beings, what they’re capable of doing. Because if you think that you’re doing the best you can right now, you’re operating on 25%, which is what you can be.
Nick McGowan
Yeah, absolutely. And you know, you’ve gone back a handful of times about having the people around you. That starts with you as the person and you having a belief in yourself that there’s more. And that’s what I mentioned about earlier, getting to a point just like you lived through, just like I’d lived through and so many people, you get to a point where you go, Fuck this, things have to change and that’s on you to then take that next step.
Nick McGowan
But even that first step, that next step can just be talking to somebody, having a conversation, and that’ll start to, you know, incrementally grow from there. So what sort of advice would you give to the audience? It’s on the path towards self-mastery.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Well, it’s all about you got to understand the mirroring part of the brain. Okay. You know, salesmen use it all the time and you cross legs and cross legs. You have the beef, all of the beef. You have to know shit like that. We all want to say, okay, we all want to fit in. So again, it’s it’s the dialog and it’s hanging with these people and make an effort to change.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Just like Jesus said me, get up in the morning, you’re going to say to yourself, Fuck this, I want to change and seek out the change. You know, be that, be the change. Know everybody in this world has the capacity and capability and mentality and psychological brainpower to be a leader. Everybody does. Look, what if you are that leader?
Dr. Robb Kelly
If not now, when it’s not, you hope you see you’re 100 times powerful than you think you are. And everybody needs to be led. So everyone needs a leader. Why can’t it be? You said change that mindset, get a dialog started. Because it’s like when I suffered in alcoholism, I wasn’t going to talk to anybody about it. I was ashamed.
Dr. Robb Kelly
I was embarrassed. But you know what? I started talking to, like money people. I go, Yeah, I can’t stop drinking. And the other guy’s in the army, too, right? Wants you, too. Yeah. So if I’m going through a depression or mindset, I’m just sit ups or whatever it is, and I start mixing with, like, my people, then you kind of joke about it.
Dr. Robb Kelly
So I often tell when I go to see a therapist because I still am a therapist, went to one. I says, You’re an alcoholic. You said, No, but I’ve been to college and said, You can’t help me. And he said, What do you mean you can help me? I can help you? I’m highly educated. I said, if you have a bottle of vodka behind your back and I want you to drink, do you not stab you in the face repeatedly and say you are dead to get that one?
Dr. Robb Kelly
Well, that there’s no need for that. Yeah. You’re no good to me. I will tell the next guy you’re an alcoholic yet been through it all. So if you had a bottle of vodka behind you and I stabbed you in the face, what would you do? Fuck me. I’d do exactly the same. You see the mirroring path belonging to your tribe.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Find your tribe.
Nick McGowan
It’s a beautiful way to be able to end this. Doctor, it’s been a pleasure to have you on, man. I appreciate the authenticity. And you’re just being fucking real and getting into this because I know you’ve been through the shit, too, so. And I appreciate you being on. Where can people find you and where can they connect with you?
Dr. Robb Kelly
Dr. Rob Cowley In any search engine around the world, you find me a spell. My name is to bs r o bp kla y dot coms a website jump on that. There’s some great stuff on there. The books on there. Last thing my daughter said, Daddy, Daddy, please stop drinkin. It’s $9. All of the $9 goes out. So last year we took 14,000 profit from the book.
Dr. Robb Kelly
That was after Amazon took that pop, all of that money and 120 in my pocket go back out into the community to help people like me. So go and do that. To continue research going do you find the news on social media is, you know find goes like those callers texters and listen guys and there’s probably might be one or two listen to this if you are not place that at home when you’re depressed when you are not thinking I’m going to amount to anything when you think that you know, you just horrible guy.
Dr. Robb Kelly
Two things. First of all, I want to apologize to you because somebody fucking put that there. Okay. And secondly, 2146000210 is my personal cell number. Text me if you going through that, because as a human being, I’d rather make 10 minutes to give you a pep talk that will change your life. Otherwise I’ll send you hundred dollars, then have your funeral next week.
Nick McGowan
Absolutely, I. I can’t stress that enough. I appreciate you being honest and open about that. And that’s a big thing. So anybody that’s listening, any problems, anything that’s going on, if it’s not one of us you’re going to reach out to because you don’t know who we are, maybe you’re afraid to then let it be somebody that you know, somebody that you can just say, Hey, I think I have a problem.
Nick McGowan
I need to talk about it. That’s it. That boils down to again, Dr. Rob, you, the man, appreciate you being on. We will talk to you soon.
Nick McGowan
Another great conversation on today’s episode of The Mindset and Self-mastery show. So what did you think of the show today? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Check out the Instagram or Facebook page to join the conversation. If you enjoyed the episode, please jump over to iTunes and subscribe rate and leave a five star review. It helps us be found and helps others be healed.
Nick McGowan
If this episode opened your eyes, made you think or smile at all, then I’m sure it’ll do the same for your friends. Check out the show notes for more info from today’s episode and check out other episodes on The Mindset and Self-mastery show dot com as well as our YouTube channel. Just go to YouTube and look up the mindset and self-mastery show.
Nick McGowan
Thanks again to our incredible guests for being real, honest and vulnerable with us today. I’d like to thank our sponsors and most importantly, I’d like to thank you, thank you for hanging out with us today. Your support means the world to us. And with that, remember, your mindset matters and so do you.