The Reality That Life Has More In Store For Us With Serban Mare

00:00:08:08 – 00:00:27:17

Nick McGowan

Hello and welcome to The Mindset and Self-mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan. And on this show, my guests and I unpack the stories that shape us, the lives that we lead on our path to self-mastery. So let’s not wait any longer. Let the games begin.

00:00:32:00 – 00:00:35:10

Nick McGowan

Hey, Serban, thank you for joining the show. Welcome. How you doing, man?

00:00:36:04 – 00:00:37:22

Serban Mare

I am fantastic. Thanks for having me, Nick.

00:00:38:12 – 00:01:00:11

Nick McGowan

Yeah, well, I appreciate you reaching out. I know we connected through a podcast matchmaking service, in a sense. And I was telling you right before we hit record that I think there’s a lot that we’re going to be able to talk about because we both have just this deep, passionate, I guess, almost nerdiness when it comes to mindset and the way that we as people kind of tick.

00:01:00:20 – 00:01:17:13

Nick McGowan

But one thing that I appreciate about having somebody like yourself on here is that you’re not natively from the U.S. And I know that there are a lot of times that I have guests that are on that we just get used to certain ways that we do things and how we kind of had to work through things, through life.

00:01:17:20 – 00:01:30:07

Nick McGowan

Now, I don’t want to take your your story away or your thunder away from any of this. So why don’t you give us a little bit context, tell us what you do for a living and maybe one thing that most people don’t know about you that’s a little odd or bizarre.

00:01:31:08 – 00:02:09:07

Serban Mare

Sure. I work on right now. My 9 to 5 is a program manager for a semiconductor company. However, the rest of the time, I am a professional speaker. I’m a motivational coach. And I look to help as many people as I can with, like you said, the mindset stuff. I it’s good that you mentioned that I have a funny accent is because I came to the United States at 2005 and culturally I was told from the beginning that I must follow this particular footprint.

00:02:09:17 – 00:02:33:10

Serban Mare

You must go to school, you must get your corporate job, you must do all of these things and tell Nick, for the first eight years of my life, ten years in my America life, that’s what I did. I just followed the blueprint. And I found myself after I think it was 2013. You know, I, I did the American Dream.

00:02:33:10 – 00:02:56:12

Serban Mare

I came here, worked really hard, got my diploma check. I got the corporate 9 to 5 job check. I got my 401k check. Then I said, Well, I’m going to start living and going to parties and all of these things. And all of a sudden, as I kept not growing anymore, I just started, you know, there’s that saying, if you don’t progressive regress.

00:02:57:00 – 00:03:29:18

Serban Mare

That’s how it felt. It just I didn’t I didn’t feel whole. And I tell you, there’s one instance where I met with a friend and haven’t seen him in a few years. And we sit down and he’s generally happy to see me interested. He’s like, How you doing? How’s it going? And that question just, I don’t know at that moment just hit me hard because I was fine, had the job, fine, had the house, fine had my relationships were fine.

00:03:30:05 – 00:03:55:05

Serban Mare

Nothing was great. There was they were just something lacking, something lacking. And that’s that’s where I struggled a lot. And, you know, that’s that’s that’s that’s what one of the reasons why as I got more and more desperate of not knowing exactly what to do with my life, that’s what set me on this path of as you’re show, it is a mindset path.

00:03:55:15 – 00:03:59:04

Nick McGowan

So what’s the weird thing or the odd thing that people don’t know about you?

00:03:59:21 – 00:04:23:02

Serban Mare

Yeah, I was I was thinking about that. One odd thing, Nick is in fourth grade. You know, we were talking before the recording, strange things that happened to us in childhood. In fourth grade, I was reading along with the people in class, I was we were going around the class and we were supposed to read from a book and I misread something.

00:04:23:09 – 00:04:47:21

Serban Mare

And, you know, the kids in the classroom just started giggling and everything. And to make things worse, my teacher decided that it would be very appropriate to make fun of me, which made all the other kids laugh even even harder. And just I got super embarrassed. And from that point, I can tell you that I have not read a book since that fourth grade.

00:04:48:01 – 00:04:54:04

Serban Mare

I only the ones that I had to for school. None whatsoever. Until I found the mindset.

00:04:55:04 – 00:05:18:15

Nick McGowan

And that’s that’s interesting. It’s funny. I’ve joked with people that I hated to read, hated, hated to read. I didn’t even like reading captions on the TV, like I didn’t want to read any of it at all. And I know 100% it was because we were forced to do something. And if you’re forced to do something, you’re like, Well, nope, makes me want to not do it even more now.

00:05:19:02 – 00:05:42:01

Nick McGowan

And now I find myself I basically have 6 to 8 books going at a time, a couple of daily reads and others that are kind of, you know, the ones that I’m working through. But that’s that’s interesting. And especially for you to be able to be in that spot and now be in a different country with a different language and being able to read things in not your native language.

00:05:42:16 – 00:05:49:17

Nick McGowan

So are you now one of those types of people or similar to me where you’ve got a bunch of books all at a time, or do you kind of move through them one by one?

00:05:50:18 – 00:06:14:15

Serban Mare

I do have a library of books at the moment, but I try to read them one by one. And I am because again, lacking the the skill of reading for so many years, I’m very slow and very slow. But I know it’s a it’s a skill that I can develop. You know, I had a fixed mindset prior to prior to starting to read.

00:06:14:15 – 00:06:35:14

Serban Mare

And of course, there’s also the fact that you have to find the books that really intrigue you. Right. And once I started finding the books, that really made me light up when I was reading them, it was a different a different way of reading. But I, I had that feeling where, you know, you have oh, I went down and someone tells you about another book and you start picking that up.

00:06:35:14 – 00:06:45:22

Serban Mare

And I had three or four at the same time and I find that very difficult to to finish them just because of my inability to read fast. So now I’m going very methodical, one by one.

00:06:46:10 – 00:07:07:01

Nick McGowan

Yeah, that makes sense. You know, it’s not a race in that sort of way. I used to find myself being really jealous of people that could just rip through books, but then I thought about it and I was like, You’re. You’re ripping through that. Did you learn anything? Like a couple things like that. You didn’t read, like the synopsis of it or like on the back page.

00:07:07:01 – 00:07:25:09

Nick McGowan

And some people just will kind of do things like that just to check it off the box, sort of like what you were doing where you said you came over in, you went after that American dream to check off those boxes, check off those boxes and keep going, thinking that happiness is on the other side of another one of those boxes.

00:07:25:22 – 00:07:47:14

Nick McGowan

So now that you understand that it’s not all built in that, what are how does life kind of look different than it did before? And especially being here in the States like actually on that note, I want to jump to that like getting here to the States. What was the what was the idea to come over here for?

00:07:48:00 – 00:08:08:12

Nick McGowan

What was the plan of like, I’m going to get here and I’m going to do these things and that journey to be able to get here because that in and of itself is a typical journey that most of us here in the States don’t ever go through. Maybe we’ll move to a different state within the continental U.S., but not have to go different countries and, you know, learn a new language and all that.

00:08:08:12 – 00:08:11:16

Nick McGowan

So tell us a bit about that, about that story. Get over here.

00:08:12:12 – 00:08:47:07

Serban Mare

Yeah, I think perspective has a lot to do with many of the things that we do. And when I came in 2005, my plan was to work for a few months and then go back home, but then working a minimum wage job for three months, actually for the first month. One, once I got that paycheck and I realized that my paycheck is as much as I would make in a year in Romania, I was like, Wow, this is the land of opportunities.

00:08:47:07 – 00:09:12:07

Serban Mare

So it was, you know, growing up, I didn’t have we didn’t have as a family a lot of money. So looking at looking at it from that perspective, I thought, man, this is this is so much that I can do here than I couldn’t do back home, which made me want to really make my home here in the United States of the transition.

00:09:12:07 – 00:09:34:01

Serban Mare

I can tell you that there’s as an immigrant, you go through these phases where you feel like home is home and you’re you’re here, but you’re just working because you want to get home. But then when you go home, the first time I went, I felt like an alien there. And it was the struggle between where my which one is my home.

00:09:34:01 – 00:09:44:01

Serban Mare

And I had to really make make a commitment and decide decided I want to stay here because this is where I can make a better life for myself and my family.

00:09:45:05 – 00:09:55:17

Nick McGowan

And how did you manage your mindset throughout that feeling of My home isn’t my home anymore and my home is now somewhere else?

00:09:55:17 – 00:10:15:06

Serban Mare

You know, it was a lot of trepidation because I had so many friends back home and that I was keeping in touch with and I wanted that belonging and I was making friends here, but I didn’t feel the same because friends from back home I knew for I don’t even know some of them I knew for 20 years.

00:10:16:10 – 00:10:45:01

Serban Mare

But then, you know, you kind of have to make a decision. You just the staying in limbo is just detrimental to anybody. You’re you’re better off running in one direction, 100 miles than standing still at the at the intersection, because at least when you run one direction, you know, hey, I’m actually running the wrong way. I can turn around and take another path.

00:10:45:01 – 00:11:02:20

Serban Mare

But if you’re just standing still at the intersection, you still don’t know. And that’s that’s pretty much what happened. At one point, I just settled and said, you know, I’ll make here my home. And if in ten years I feel different, then I can always go back home. But I never looked back. It was it was a good decision.

00:11:04:06 – 00:11:32:01

Nick McGowan

Yeah, it sounds like it has been, but it also sounds like your mindset was starting to head in that direction. Like even just getting over to a new country, even as somebody who visits a different country, that’s still kind of atypical than what most people experience. I think I’ve been to I’ve been overseas a couple of times and I’ve had conversations with people that are like, Oh man, I’ve never or I couldn’t imagine or, you know, anything like that.

00:11:32:01 – 00:11:49:16

Nick McGowan

So even just to take that step out outside of your comfort zone, to come over here and start to do these things, and then for you to get to a point where you’re like, no matter what, folks, they’re from here. Wherever I’m at, I’m still with me, but I’m still not happy. So how did you get on that path of going?

00:11:49:16 – 00:11:55:22

Nick McGowan

All right. Well, I need to do something different and starting to work on yourself.

00:11:55:22 – 00:12:27:04

Serban Mare

Yeah, I think in many cases, what drives us the most is a desire. And depending on where you are in your seasons of life, your. Your desire is strong enough. You will persist and go one direction or another. And when I moved to the United States, my mindset was more of a desire to amass wealth because of a deficiency that I had back home where I had no money and come in here.

00:12:27:10 – 00:12:57:17

Serban Mare

Money drove me for a really long time. Like I said, all those check, all those boxes were driven by my lack of money, my not having no, not having enough money to go to a restaurant back home and coming here that desire of making sure that I, I have that that draw of money, that that was the one that drove me for a long a really long time until it didn’t.

00:12:57:17 – 00:13:07:02

Nick McGowan

Can you look back at that moment and kind of pinpoint when that happened, when you were like, oh, he’s paychecks aren’t making me super excited anymore?

00:13:07:02 – 00:13:42:14

Serban Mare

Mm hmm. Yeah, it definitely, definitely was when and I think it’s it’s been said a lot, right, that there’s a platinum plateau, 75,000. I think it’s for Americans where money is no longer bringing us happiness. And I literally hit that that a number and I felt like like I had everything. I didn’t need to do anything else. And the only thing I had to do is party and feel good and be happy and come to realize that the more I just stand still, the more I was unhappy.

00:13:42:16 – 00:14:17:03

Serban Mare

And I just a pet was forming inside of me where I was wondering what else is there to life? What is my next season? What do I need to do? And that frustration just constantly build up more and more where the money was no longer there. And I didn’t even know what was always what else was out there, because up until that point, you know, it’s that blueprint that I was talking about at the beginning is my parents told me, hey, you got to get that for one K and you got a you got to have a steady job.

00:14:17:10 – 00:14:41:16

Serban Mare

But they haven’t said anything. What are we doing afterwards? Once we once we hit that social blueprint and we check all those boxes, what’s next? And, you know, that’s where passion, a calling, a purpose, living a more fulfilling life. That’s where I feel like it’s not being talked a lot about that, those type of seasons in our lives.

00:14:42:18 – 00:14:44:11

Serban Mare

And that’s where that’s where I ended up.

00:14:45:09 – 00:15:02:02

Nick McGowan

Yeah, it’s an interesting spot when you get to that point where you go, Huh, well, there’s got to be more to it because I think a lot of people get to that point in life. And yeah, I’ve heard the same thing. It’s like 70 grand or 75. You get over that and it’s a different appetite. And I’ve experienced that as well.

00:15:02:09 – 00:15:20:11

Nick McGowan

I’ve experienced different levels of that where you experience things and one of my friends said it best. He was like, Make loads of money, but what the fuck? You’re going to buy another shirt? I was like, That’s a solid point. Like, Yeah, what? You can’t buy another shirt. But when you think about being in that spot where a lot of people get to and they go, I’ve got the things.

00:15:20:11 – 00:15:44:02

Nick McGowan

I got the house, I got the wife, I get the kids, I get the whatever looks like. But they’re still not satisfied or they’re still not being fulfilled. That is just the tip of the iceberg to start to look at what is fulfilling, what your purpose could be. And I think a lot of people get honestly fucking terrified because they don’t know and they’ve built up all this stuff behind them saying, Well, this is who I am.

00:15:44:08 – 00:16:08:13

Nick McGowan

I’ve gone to school for this, I’ve done this thing and this is who I’ve been myself to be. And sometimes it takes you shifting and becoming somebody different. So in that spot, when you got to that point and I know it wasn’t a one day or two day thing, but over that course of time and being able to look back at it now, what sort of advice would you give to somebody that’s kind of in that spot right now where they feel like they’re close to that?

00:16:09:01 – 00:16:36:13

Serban Mare

Yeah, they’re and like you said, it wasn’t a it wasn’t a one moment thing. It was just a continuous buildup of something has to change. They cannot go on like this. And the biggest struggle that I had is that I was constantly looking on the outside. You know, I had my parents who told me I had society, who told me what I should be doing, and I was still looking for the answer from the outside.

00:16:36:16 – 00:17:06:07

Serban Mare

What do I what what’s my passion? How do I develop this? And it it took me a long time to understand that we have to look inwards. It’s inside of us. But we are so distracted with social media and all these different posts and all this, all the the distractions with sports and everything that’s happening outside of us that we we don’t even realize that we must pause and take a second and look inside.

00:17:06:17 – 00:17:17:09

Serban Mare

And I don’t know about you, Nick, but the first time I did it, it was very uncomfortable to stay alone with my thoughts. You know what I’m talking about?

00:17:17:12 – 00:17:38:07

Nick McGowan

Yeah, yeah. It’s. It’s not a happy place to be for the most point. It’s. It’s funny. I have this conversation different times with clients, with friends, with guests, and there’s so many things that pop up. I’m not going to lie to you, man. While we’re on this, there was literally a squirrel that ran up the tree that’s right outside my window.

00:17:38:15 – 00:17:57:13

Nick McGowan

And my dumb ass self just went home and looked right over. First thought I had was, oh my God. Kicked in and went, Oh, look, squirrel. But being able to catch yourself and pull yourself back where I say that because it literally happened, but also jokingly where we have so many different things that pull out us all the time.

00:17:57:23 – 00:18:30:13

Nick McGowan

And I think we also enjoy that pull. You enjoy the notifications on your phone, you enjoy looking at Facebook or IG or whatever and kind of getting those dopamine hits. But we also enjoy not sitting in the shit and working through this shit. Now, I’ve had a lot of conversations with people that have done that work, and it was because of what happened in 2020 with COVID and being stuck in a house and just being forced to sit in a room by yourself or with a spouse or whatever.

00:18:31:14 – 00:18:53:18

Nick McGowan

I think you and I both understand that it is like a muscle where once you start to work on it, it becomes easier to do. But it’s still not always a pleasant experience. So when you’re in that spot, even now, when you’re in that spot and you’re about to work through something that’s not super pleasant, how do you keep yourself from getting distracted without throwing your phone out the window?

00:18:54:23 – 00:19:21:03

Serban Mare

Yeah, and that’s that’s the that’s the challenge, right? Because sitting in the discomfort is uncomfortable. Right. And and at first, you know, whenever I like because I look to meditate, right? The best way to just close your eyes and just let let your thoughts go. And I really thought that meditation is just some movable thing. And it was difficult just to stand still for 5 minutes.

00:19:21:03 – 00:19:53:09

Serban Mare

And that’s that’s the biggest challenge that we have at the beginning of this, becoming more self aware of what we want for ourselves, not what others want from us, is to understand that there’s that people just running around your head and you have to kind of let it be and sit with it for for some time. And you said, well, it’s a muscle you have to train to just observe the the the ball just rattling inside your brain.

00:19:53:15 – 00:20:15:14

Serban Mare

And the more you do, you’ll notice that it’s going to slow down and it’s going to get a little more observable. And the more you do it, the more you’re going to be able to recognize the the thoughts that you’re having and there’s you know, there’s so much of this negative shit that goes up and in there that is it’s drowning anything positive.

00:20:15:22 – 00:20:38:18

Serban Mare

It truly is. Because, you know, our primordial instinct is always to go negative, negative, negative. And the more you pay attention, the more you practice being aware and understanding your thoughts, the more you’re going to be able to recognize the negative shit tossed out to the side and just observe all the things and ask. I don’t know. Ask the universe.

00:20:38:18 – 00:21:01:08

Serban Mare

Ask yourself. I just asked that question What do I want? And the more you ask it and the more you’re able to eliminate the negative, the subconscious will can it can help itself. It is going to look to answer for that question. And that’s when you start finding the things that really excite you, the the things that would have the potential to be a passion.

00:21:02:07 – 00:21:31:05

Nick McGowan

Yeah. As cliche as it is, the answers are within. We’ve all heard it. Most of us have said it at some point, but most people don’t live it all the time. Now, look, perfection is not a thing that I think any of us can achieve. And I know that I don’t live it all the time. And there are certain things that will pop up where just to be able to be aware of that, hold it and then move it in and of itself takes a lot of work to be able to form the muscle, to be able to do it.

00:21:31:12 – 00:21:53:09

Nick McGowan

And I think that awareness is the key thing that you brought up because once you’re aware of it, you can do something with it. If you’re not aware of it, then you’re just literally being reactive to everything. Now, I think some of that may have come from and this is a little bit of an assumption, but a setup for the next bit, a little bit of that is coming from you being a project manager and working on larger projects with tons of pieces in different departments and all of that.

00:21:53:14 – 00:22:01:22

Nick McGowan

So do you kind of incorporate how you work throughout the day is also how you work throughout your life?

00:22:01:22 – 00:22:31:18

Serban Mare

Yeah, I definitely have. I have so many systems in place that I think they they make me successful and I’m I’m always fascinated to people who don’t have any plans in their life and they just they just do things as they come to me that, that just sounds stressful and just, just like having a budget, it really helps you stay organized and not stressed out when you run out of money.

00:22:31:19 – 00:23:17:13

Serban Mare

Right. And planning and being organized in everything. I think it has so much value and this is I think it’s build from my career into my personal life where now I do have speaking Sundays or and recording Saturdays or any kind of activity that I do. I’m very structured with it because I think you’re like meaning that where you work better when we have consistent habits and that’s exactly what project management has done for me is like, just stay, stay consistent, stay on track and try to be try to have those routines scheduled.

00:23:18:16 – 00:23:43:17

Nick McGowan

Yeah, I that’s an interesting point. I think there are certain times where people will kind of push away from that because that’s not who they are. They want to flow. And I’m one of those people where I really enjoy the flow and be able to move throughout things. And then there are others that they have to live by the guidelines that they set, like the day goes like this, if it goes some other way, then all, all craziness happens.

00:23:44:02 – 00:24:04:11

Nick McGowan

So there’s got to be balance to it. You’ve got to have a little bit of both. Somebody said a while back about being proactively lazy, and that just stuck with me because if you think like even in the morning, you’re like, All right, well, I’ve got to get gym clothes and all of that. If you do it the night before and you’re proactively lazy, that can be part of a routine or whatever that looks like.

00:24:04:19 – 00:24:25:17

Nick McGowan

So I find that at least for me, I have chunks in the morning, in the afternoon or the morning in the evening where there are specific things that I get done within those times and allow myself sort of the bumpers through the day to be able to move and play along with the magic that shows up throughout the day and be intentionally reactive with certain things.

00:24:26:18 – 00:24:52:20

Nick McGowan

But having those times that you work through is a key thing. So when you think about the project management side that you have and the systems that you’ve put into place, can you look back, let’s say couple years and see the progress that you’ve had because of those systems? And are there any that really stand out to you where you’re like, Man, if I didn’t have this fucking thing, I’d be an absolute mess right now.

00:24:52:20 – 00:25:16:08

Serban Mare

You know, not even not even project management related and just in general in life, I, I remember liking, liking to work out and that was, that was the thing that I was, that I was doing in the morning on a regular basis. But what I’ve managed to do now, I have a whole routine in the morning that I do because of my working out.

00:25:16:08 – 00:25:42:11

Serban Mare

And it’s I think James Collier said this in atomic habits, right where you tack on to an existing habit, another habit. So let’s say that you’re brushing your teeth every night. You just listen to a podcast while you’re brushing your teeth. It would be attack on habit, and those were the things that really helped me just be more mindful and more intentional with the things that really helped me grow.

00:25:42:19 – 00:26:08:21

Serban Mare

So I was fairly consistent working out. But then in the morning, now before I work out, I must write three things that I’m grateful for throughout the day. That’s for me, it’s a, it’s a way to pray my mind. It’s it’s something that I’ve been doing for the last five years. And I probably don’t even realize how much value that is, because the first thing that we do when we wake up is like, Oh, what do I have to do?

00:26:08:21 – 00:26:27:13

Serban Mare

Oh, shit, I, I have to take care of that problem. Oh, all these negative thoughts just quickly zoom into our minds and that carries throughout the day. So the one thing that I know, I did and which was very, very beneficial for me is just do those three things that are and that I’m grateful for in the morning.

00:26:27:18 – 00:26:53:01

Serban Mare

And then three, three main goals that I’m supposed to achieve throughout the day and then go work out. And after a while that once that habit formed and I’m like, Well, let me see if I can meditate for five, four, 5 minutes after my workout. Well, I don’t really like meditating, but I like the sun. And so I went into the sauna and I can take my headphones because it gets too hard.

00:26:53:01 – 00:27:20:15

Serban Mare

So I’m like, Well, I guess I’ll meditate. And you know, I started off with 5 minutes and it was uncomfortable and then I bumped it up to 10 minutes and you know, now I’m at 15 minutes. But those type of systems where you have one main thing that you do and then you tack on a few things for me was instrumental to just, just have better habits and just be more successful on the things that really make make me feel more alive.

00:27:20:15 – 00:27:38:09

Serban Mare

I don’t know make me feel happier the working out. It’s it’s crucial for me. I feel like just getting that out of the way and first thing in the morning it just pumps pumps me up and it just feels great. And then you have the other the other things that are adjacent to it.

00:27:38:09 – 00:27:55:17

Nick McGowan

A good point about the habit stacking and being able to take upon something you’re already doing and just add something to it and then adding the reward to it. What a great book. The concepts in there that are almost stupidly simple. Like think about it as you read through it. At least I did this where I was like, duh.

00:27:55:22 – 00:28:11:15

Nick McGowan

Yup. Makes a ton of sense. I do some of that or I don’t do some of that. And then being able to kind of add those things on, I think in certain ways it’s fun to play the game, you know, play the game of life where you go, Well, I don’t like to do this thing, but it’s good for me.

00:28:11:15 – 00:28:29:01

Nick McGowan

So how do I do it and how do I do something along with that? Like you said, with the sauna where you’re like, Well, can’t bring my headphones in. Oh, I guess I can incorporate this bit to it and in some ways kind of nerd out about that. And that’s, that’s a fun thing to be able to experience because everybody’s a bit different when it comes to that.

00:28:29:01 – 00:28:52:17

Nick McGowan

But still being able to use that principle of how do you kind of keep sticking to it without driving yourself crazy? And I’m glad that you also brought up meditating five, ten, 15 minutes. At first you started to almost say five years, and that’s how long it kind of has at least taken me to get to the point where I can do a couple of minutes and be consistent with it.

00:28:53:09 – 00:29:15:14

Nick McGowan

You know, there are times where and I’m sure you can attest where you sit down, you’re like, I’m just going to meditate. Thought, thought, thought, thought, thought. And it just constant. But being able to continue to work that now, do you find that you are do you find that you give yourself grace when you miss a day? Or are you so project oriented and so into your systems where you beat the shit out of yourself for it?

00:29:16:22 – 00:29:40:18

Serban Mare

Hmm. That that’s a very good question because I used to do that. Yeah, I used to be because. Because of all the habit stacking that I’ve done, I had a crap list of items that I wanted to get throughout the day, and I, I felt like I had to, I had to do it. And for the longest time, it was actually stress starting to stress me out because I haven’t checked the list.

00:29:41:02 – 00:30:04:06

Serban Mare

And I think it was only a year ago where I moved it from. I have to no, I don’t have to. I want to whenever I can. So if you’re right, if if I miss a day or two now, I don’t I don’t beat myself up and all of this stuff if if it doesn’t give you energy, if it doesn’t give you a pleasure, you shouldn’t be doing it.

00:30:04:11 – 00:30:27:15

Serban Mare

And of course, at first it’s a little bit of uncomfortableness, but my wife, for example, she she doesn’t like meditating. She goes into the sauna and just just looks around and just sits there. She doesn’t she’s not a big meditator and everybody’s different. And we have to do things that we enjoy. Right. And this pressure of staying consistent.

00:30:27:15 – 00:30:33:07

Serban Mare

A There’s a point, there’s a limit to it. I That’s a good question that you have. Yeah.

00:30:34:07 – 00:30:48:21

Nick McGowan

Yeah. And there’s definitely a balance to it no matter what an understanding with different people are different. So. Well, I appreciate that you’ve been on and that we’ve gone through a lot of this stuff so far. So what’s that one piece of advice you’d give to somebody that’s on their path toward self-mastery?

00:30:50:01 – 00:31:17:07

Serban Mare

Hmm. I would say don’t beat yourself up. Don’t think that everything has to change tomorrow. Maybe all of all of the things that we’re doing, it’s. It’s been baby steps at first. And this kind of like, you know, your New Year’s resolution, you’re saying, you know, starting January 1st, I’m going to go to the gym and work out five times a day and I’m going to eat only salad and I’m not going to drink any alcohol.

00:31:18:10 – 00:31:47:07

Serban Mare

That’s that’s not a way to do it. Anything that you won’t start slow, like you said, just try to incorporate it slowly into your into your routine and don’t beat yourself up because a lot of times because we food is a very easy example. Right. You stay off and you don’t eat crappy food for a week and then you you let yourself go in a weekend and you’re like, well, everything’s gone to hell now.

00:31:47:13 – 00:32:10:01

Serban Mare

I’m just going to I’m going to go to the buffet tomorrow. No, it’s okay. Just start slow and just be consistent. I think the my superpower is consistency. And there’s that say that saying, right, 1% better each day if if we just applied that in ten years, it’s incredible what we can achieve.

00:32:11:00 – 00:32:22:10

Nick McGowan

Yeah, great point. That incremental growth. Well, it’s been a pleasure to have you on here. Again, I appreciate you are opening up and going through everything. Tell us, where can people find you and where can they connect with you?

00:32:23:17 – 00:32:44:16

Serban Mare

Yeah. Awesome discussion, Nick. Thank you. They can find me on Instagram is the best place my my name as urban marry and just that’s my my handle I try to put wisdoms now some quick reels something that I’ve learned and I am applying in my life and I’m trying to share as much wisdom with others that I can.

00:32:44:22 – 00:32:46:00

Serban Mare

So that’s the best place.

00:32:46:18 – 00:32:50:11

Nick McGowan

Awesome. And all that will be in the show notes. Again, thank you so much for being on. It’s been a pleasure.

00:32:50:22 – 00:32:52:16

Serban Mare

Yeah, same here. Thank you very much for having me.

00:32:54:05 – 00:33:16:20

Nick McGowan

Another great conversation on today’s episode of The Mindset and Self-mastery show. So what did you think of the show today? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Check out the Instagram or Facebook page. Join the conversation if you enjoyed the episode, please jump over to iTunes and subscribe rate and leave a five star review. It helps us be found and helps others be healed.

00:33:17:09 – 00:33:37:16

Nick McGowan

If this episode opened your eyes, made you think or smile at all, then I’m sure it’ll do the same for your friends. Check out the show notes for more info from today’s episode and check out other episodes on the Mindset and Self-mastery show dot com as well as our YouTube channel. Just go to YouTube and look up the mindset and self-mastery.

00:33:37:16 – 00:33:57:05

Nick McGowan

Show. Thanks again to our incredible guests for being real, honest and vulnerable with us today. I’d like to thank our sponsors and most importantly, I’d like to thank you. Thank you for hanging out with us today. Your support means the world to us. And with that, remember, your mindset matters and so do you.