Unpacking A Five-Time Cancer Survivor’s Journey With Shariann Tom

Nick McGowan (00:01.452)
Hello and welcome to the Mindset and Self Mastery Show. I’m your host, Nick McGowan and today on the show I have Sherrianne Tom. Sherrianne, how you doing

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (00:11.855)
That did great.

Nick McGowan (00:14.338)
I’m excited that you’re here. I’m excited for the topic that we’re going to get into. And I think there’s a lot that we can get into with it. It’s the big C word. It’s a thing that a lot of people fear. A lot of people go through. And I think as we get older, there are less people that we know or know of that haven’t gone through it or haven’t had somebody close to them that has gone through it. When your information came through, it was pretty timely. My father actually just went through.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (00:23.503)
Mm -hmm.

Nick McGowan (00:43.799)
cancer. My brother had gone through cancer. There’s been a lot of that. And I’m excited for us to be able to talk in depth because you’ve gone through it multiple times. jeez, multiple is like two or three. So I apologize. Five times is kind of crazy. And that right off the bat, even before we hit record, you’re just smiling and having a good old conversation about just life and things

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (01:01.977)
Feels crazy.

Nick McGowan (01:09.288)
All that so I’m really excited that you’re here. Hey, why don’t you kick us off? Tell us what you do for a living and what’s one thing most people don’t know about you. That’s maybe a little odd or bizarre.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (01:19.343)
Okay, so I’m Sheri -Ann Tom and I’m the CEO and co -founder of the Cancer Journey Institute, which actually trains individuals to be certified cancer journey coaches to help patients, survivors, thrivers, and caregivers. So really the whole lot. And so when you talk about individuals having cancer, and I’m sad that your father and your brother had to go through

It isn’t as unusual as you think when every two men and when in every three women will be diagnosed with cancer in their life.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (02:01.485)
I know you just let that sit, right? Everybody else caregiver. So it’s it’s. Yeah. It’s breathtaking.

Nick McGowan (02:10.669)
have not caregiver and survivor. You know, if it’s 50 % or 33%, like that’s, that’s crazy. I, I’ve thought about

I’ll take a little bit of a step back because I just want to jump right into it. I still want to know what’s that thing that most people don’t know about you. That’s a little odd or bizarre.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (02:30.249)
well, okay. So being through cancer five times, most people are like, you must take really good care of yourself and, and, you know, you must live right. And, and so here’s the, the not told thing. And it’s not surprising that I, I live in the San Francisco Bay area and I like, I love my Napa. And so if you’re like, Sherry Ann, let’s go get a glass of wine. I’m like, I’m, I’m there.

two glasses of wine? Sure. And I am by far a wine snob. So I know what I like. I know what’s not good. I am a snob.

Nick McGowan (03:13.708)
Well, at least you can call yourself that. And I don’t think, you know, having a preference is snobby. If you shame people for the $15 bottle of wine that they bought at Target or whatever, that might be a little different. But if you’ve gone through and you understand this is what I like and this is what I want to do, I think that’s a beautiful thing because then you get to actually look at life and in some ways go, I fucking dealt with this so many times. This is what I want.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (03:40.683)
Exactly. It’s that full permission of, you know, I see your death in its face and I’m still here, which is why you see me smile, because, hey, I got up this morning. I’m living today and I am not going to live an austere

I hear you say this all the time, no fucking way. I am going to live my life and that’s that flag that I carry when I do the work that I do. And so they’re gonna see Yessir and see Sherri -Ann with a smile and they’re gonna see me.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (04:18.827)
advocating to live your best life. So your podcast is perfect because we’re talking about mindset and mastery. It’s like I’m there a thousand

Nick McGowan (04:30.59)
I appreciate the kind words with that. I look at this platform as a way to be able to help people like yourself share the stories and be able to get deep with these things. Even the happiness that you have, I’m sure there have been really dark times. And like I said to you before we even hit record, the people that listen to this are the people that are like, look, I’m doing these things and I’m trying to do the work, but fuck, there is shit behind me. It was really difficult to get past.

to process through, be able to work through and having people like you on that have such a beautiful outlook to go, look, I’ve gone through this, but I still know what I like and what I don’t like or what I want to do when I don’t want to do. That’s a beautiful thing. can be really tough for people. think sometimes we look at somebody else that goes through something and we say to ourselves, well, I haven’t gone through that. Maybe I should do things differently because we try to control situations.

And life is just gonna work out the way it’s gonna work out. It just happens the way that it does. Can you give us a little bit of context though? You’ve gone through this five times. I would assume by the third, fourth or fifth time, you had experience, so you understood this is what the process is gonna look like, but it probably doesn’t make it any, let’s say easier, but give us a little bit of context. Let’s take a bit of a step

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (05:53.165)
Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, three, three, that said something. when I, when I was diagnosed the third time and this was after a, the second time was a stem cell transplant, high dose chemotherapy, radiation. mean, just the whole kit and caboodle, but the third time it was like, shit. Is it three strikes, you’re out? I I literally asked my doctor that it’s like, is this

Nick McGowan (06:18.763)
I’m out.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (06:23.693)
And I say it right now, it almost takes my breath away because it’s like, you think that I can’t do this anymore. This is the end. And there was nothing like the bone marrow transplant that really brought me down, down under the ground. Just like, I don’t think I can get lower than this because their goal was to obliterate my immune system and then give me stem cells

to let it grow back in hopes that that would obliterate the cancer that was in me. And I was like, okay, that’s what we have to do. But I didn’t know how low it was gonna take me. And it wasn’t low so much physically. Yes, of course that happened. But what really took me down was the energy level, the will to live, just all of that just felt like it tanked. And I didn’t know how to get myself

back out of this hole that I was stuck

Nick McGowan (07:26.548)
So was it support system in that sense? Was it faith? Was it a mixture? Was it you just saying, well, this is what I’ve got. it also you just screaming? Why? What did all that look

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (07:45.985)
Yes. Yes. Cursing. think I really questioned faith then because it’s like, okay, why does this keep coming back? want to make sense of it. And I did have some ridiculous amount of support, but that’s fine. Family’s great. Friends are great. I don’t want to denigrate that.

Nick McGowan (07:46.762)
Fair enough.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (08:13.187)
The support that I really wanted was somebody who could hold my hand saying, I get it. I know what you’re going through. And I was lucky enough to find someone and many people who could do that, but also people who had this coach background that I didn’t even know existed. And it was like, what’s this thing you’re doing? What’s this feeling that I have of really being seen, heard and gotten? And

them saying you’re more than your disease. Of course, yes, I get that. I’m more than my body, but it’s like, I don’t know how to find this other part of me. And that is the difference of the support.

The ribbon movement is great. You know, the ones that the pink ribbon, blue, purple, I mean, they have every color you can imagine now. That is fine in terms of, hey, there are other people who have gone through this before, but they weren’t there with me walking it. And that really provided me with kind of an elevation like,

Nick McGowan (09:04.851)
Mm -hmm.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (09:27.789)
I can do this. They helped me dig in to find that well of strength and hope that I didn’t know that was there anymore when I was like, should I just let go? It’s so easy. It would just be easy. Or do I stay? I mean, that’s one of the questions that we ask our clients anyways, because of the experience that I’ve had. It’s like, do I want to stay or do I want to go?

the fact that I think that I have this choice.

and then choosing stay.

Nick McGowan (10:06.227)
That’s a different level of help and service from somebody because there’s, it’s one thing when people go, I’m sorry, that sucks. And that’s cool. Like appreciate it. If it’s somebody close to you, that can mean a little bit more. If it’s somebody that has actually gone through it, I would assume that means a lot more. I haven’t personally gone through that and I really hope that I’m the one out of the one of two.

that doesn’t, but you know, we can’t pick that. And if it happens, then we get to learn from people like yourself or anybody else. I’d mentioned that my dad had recently gone through that. And I was impressed at how he handled it. And there are times where we talked a little bit about Enneagram. I’m a four, he’s an eight. And I’ve been like, are you okay? Are you really okay? Like I feel all the fucking things, but do you? Are you just thinking about it? And he’s like, I’m fine.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (10:57.559)
Yeah, right.

Nick McGowan (11:01.905)
And there were a few times where we talked and he was like, this sucks, but I’m all right. My brother went through cancer in his twenties. And my stepmom took care of him. His mom took care of him and was right there with him throughout all of it. He had some people and all those things. My brother owns different properties and actually rented out one of his homes. And then moved back in with my dad just to, I don’t know, basically shoot the breeze with his buddy who’s his dad.

And we’ve got a nice house and all that stuff. And then a few months later, my dad was diagnosed and I live basically 2000 miles away from them. And I remember thinking like, what a beautiful thing for my brother to be there, to know exactly what he’s going through and to be able to work with him through it and be able to also hold them accountable to things and be there and work through that. And I’ve thought like, maybe I should be there to work and help him. And it probably wouldn’t have been the same, just like what you’re saying where somebody’s like, I get

been through it. I can just empathize and try to understand but how do you work with people client wise that are going through that, that can see you and they’re not related to you. They’re there, they’re paying you money to help them but how do they then relate to their families? Like how do you help them relate to the people that haven’t gone through it that are just the, it sucks that you’re going through that and then finding those people that can actually help them to work through

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (12:26.563)
Right. Actually, it’s a fabulous question that you’re asking because that is the situation, right, for so many. And that’s why we do include the caregivers in what we do because there’s a language that you get and you probably know it unspenotes to you, but you assimilated it because of what your dad went through and what your brother went through. And what we do is we’re like, listen.

Like listen like you’ve never listened before because we’re so conditioned in the society to like listen but think of what am I going to say next or what am I going to do next? And it’s not about that. It’s about really listening when you say, hey, how you doing? In the way that you say it with the energy that you say it that your dad’s going to go, hey, maybe he’s really listening to

Maybe he can handle me telling him, I’m not sure if I want to stay here. Can you handle that? Can I talk about

It’s it’s it’s a, mean, I know I brought it up because of that’s what I was said in the beginning, but it’s those kinds of conversations that really not only connect you tighter and, and in a, a different level, but gives the person going through it, a chance to say, I just need to process this and I want to, I want to be real. I don’t want to have to take care of you. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me. It’s like, let’s just have that conversation.

that ends up being the most healing conversation.

Nick McGowan (14:05.359)
Yeah. Wow. You, you’ve done this a lot. I’m sure. I also feel like you were probably on the line while I was having that conversation with my dad. And I was like, how are you? mean, how are you? He was like, well, look, the doctor told me if I don’t do anything, I die in two years. And if I do something, I’ve get another 10, 20. He’s like, if I get to 25, take me out back and shoot me. I’m like, not, pop. I’m not going to do that to you. But that is a real

tough conversation for people to have. And from his perspective, I can understand him saying, if I don’t do anything, I’m going to, I’m going to be dead in X amount of months. If I do something I, maybe I get a little longer and maybe I get an accessory, you know, another part of my body or whatever. but being able to have that understanding from his perspective of what do I want to do? How do want to go about this? And I think something that I can say from the perspective that I have.

that it can be really difficult to not try to sway those people because it’s totally on them and up to them. If my dad told me I’m not going to do a damn thing and I’m going to die in two years, I’d be upset, but I would respect and trust that, you know, this is your life. This is what you got to do. that is not the initial thought that I had that came from conversations and counsel with other people because if like they say, no, you go, no, you need to do this. It should look this way.

And that’s fucking wrong. Just straight up. There’s no should when it comes to that. But how do you handle the conversations with the clients that are like, well, I’m being forced to do this. I don’t want to go through chemo. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do that. But they’re being forced to. And I think as I asked that question, there’s even another layer to like the processing that people can go through to then say, all right, I’m good within myself to do this thing or not do this thing. But

also not being shamed into doing something or not doing

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (16:06.157)
Right, like treating them as this whole entity that is in charge of their own life and that they get to choose what they want to do. And I can tell you’ve had a lot of training, just the way that you’re talking and how you’re speaking to how you had that conversation with your dad. Not everybody has that. And so being an education company, we get to.

teach individuals how to listen to this level and just be that human, not the son who wants to, know, dad, don’t do that. Right. I mean, yeah, of course you still got that part of you, but to speak human to human, like you’re on your journey, you’re on your soul’s journey and that’s okay. And I want to love you for as long as I can.

Nick McGowan (16:42.383)
Yeah, it’s selfish.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (17:01.911)
I’m part of this relationship, so let me tell you how I’m feeling and not holding back either. Like, right, the caregivers walk on eggshells because, they’re stressed enough. I don’t want to give them any more stress or I do want to tell them what to do or I don’t want to tell them. You know, it’s like this. It’s like, let’s just be human to human, trusting that we’re both on our journeys and that’s. Go ahead. Yeah, yeah.

Nick McGowan (17:27.275)
Easier said than done. the, the trusting on our journeys is the thing that really stood out to me. we at times as people, can pour something onto somebody else because it’s something that we think about on our own. like we’re like, well, you shouldn’t do it because I wouldn’t want to do it that way. And I think of myself as an intelligent being. So therefore the right thing is you shouldn’t do this or you should do that or what have

Instead of understanding and trusting, people are gonna do what they’re gonna do. I mean, the amount of times that I think to myself, that is a grown ass person, doing whatever they’re doing. If they’re not making the decisions that I feel are the right decisions, that doesn’t actually make any sense. But it can be difficult when we’re so stuck in ourselves to go, well, if I were in your shoes, just like if somebody is like, well, if somebody had a gun to my head, I would knock the gun out of their hands. I would flip them over and I’d have them.

Handcuffs and I would do all these things but meanwhile you probably just shit yourself and cry in the corner You don’t know you don’t know until those things happen and just like your experience of going through those you went through one and two and three and four and five What did that look like to be able to? Become more of the human that you are because of those experiences

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (18:47.375)
Well, of course I’d love to say, it was easy, Nick. I just sailed through. But that’s not the truth. I mean, it was scary as hell. Every time I got diagnosed, it was, is this it? And man, do I have to go through that again? And it wasn’t like, I’ll just pick up where I left off. It was the beginning of a whole new journey of cancer.

Nick McGowan (18:49.758)
No, that’s not why you’re here.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (19:14.617)
So I had all the scans. Yeah, so I knew what the scans are like and the blood work and deciding on treatment and if that didn’t work and what else is available to me. So what wasn’t existing before was a roadmap. I asked my doctor, said, what am I gonna go through as a human? And he said, this is what it’s gonna be like going through treatment. I’m like, no, no, no, no, no, not that. What am I gonna go through as a human?

I said, is there a roadmap or a guide or something? I mean, I’m not the first person who’s ever gone through cancer. So what’s there? And he’s like, I don’t know what you’re talking about, but here’s what you’re going to go through with treatment. He’s a scientist. It’s fine. So I created one because I went through it so many times. And for me, it’s the pit that becomes that transformative place that is the hardest. It’s

I get the call, I go through initiation of this journey again, and I know that I’m going to go into the pit. So

I’m going to say jewels, but also what shit. So it’s like, you know, the, the, whole swirl of it all. Am I going to go through so that I can get out? Cause all we ever want is I want to be done. I mean, I just remember saying, can you cut it out? But I had a blood cancer. There’s no cutting out a blood cancer. So it’s like, okay, this is with me. So, okay, what do we go through? And

And now I’ve even forgotten the question that you asked.

Nick McGowan (20:55.408)
it being able to actually experience those things. think of the really tough and challenging chapters that we go through as humans on our own soul’s journey. have stuff that happens and everybody can handle things and experience things different. Like I often think about childhood trauma. Somebody may have said or done something to you as a six year old that was just like flipping like, you stupid kid. Like this isn’t right or whatever. And that shook

Others, it may have been something even heavier or whatever there’s, can’t really add layers to it or levels rather, because it’s all how we experience it. But those really trying and challenging times is where we as humans get to really become more of the human that we are meant to be. I feel like that is part of our purpose work. We go through these times and it’s not easy work to do. That’s why we have these conversations of

What did that look like when you’re like, are you fucking kidding me again? That’s it. I’m done. Nope. All right. Maybe I’m not. And like going through the flow of that to be able to be like, well, what do we do? But those are the times where we as humans actually grow. So what do you do? How do you work with people when they’re in that spot and they’re like, I can tell and that’s all fucking happiness. Sometimes I’m rainbows that I will grow and be a human, but this sucks right now. How do you work with

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (21:54.436)
Right.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (22:06.816)
Exactly.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (22:21.027)
We go into the suck. Seriously. And it’s not pretty. That’s why it’s hard work, but it’s hard work. Seriously. It’s the work that really matters because I love that you brought up trauma because this is a traumatic journey. And obviously for me, had PTSD, but the trauma each time was different.

Nick McGowan (22:22.827)
Awesome.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (22:48.491)
Meaning there was something new for me to learn about me. And so if I didn’t go into the SEC, then I would have just tried to skate through it, trying to, what is that false positivity, toxic positivity, that’s, that’s not helpful. So when we’re working with our clients, I mean, we hold them in the safest, most intimate container that you can imagine.

because we’re asking them to break open, which the cancer’s already done, it’s already started the work for us, and to break open so that we can get to the core of who they are, like that core, that powerful self that has always been there, but maybe it’s been pasted over with other people’s thoughts, beliefs, wants for you, how we’re told to be in society, and we’re trying to excavate.

And we find these authentic real humans that have always been there and they’re coming out. And we strengthen their mindsets. Like who are you? What do you believe? Let’s get really solid into what you do naturally. Well, what are your values? What’s important? And then, well, let’s go a little deeper and we’ll dig to find what’s that real purpose. That thing that you do, only you, in the way that you do

based on everything they’ve experienced. Let’s give that to the world. And if they’re willing to go to that crucible with us to get that gold.

then it’s uphill from

Nick McGowan (24:34.667)
There’s a lot in that there’s a lot with being able to actually kind of pull ourselves out of the systemic issues. Like you’re told you should do this. This is how you should go about this. Even with the doctor, it’s like, well, I don’t understand your question. This is what’s going to happen. This is a very black and white sort of thing. Like this is what your body’s going to do. This is the reaction, et cetera. And it omits the human side of it.

There’s been some health stuff that my partners dealt with over the past year, year and a half. And we’ve learned a lot, a lot about what doctors don’t know and how they will give wrong information because it’s very tactile almost. Like this is what the book says. And if you’re telling me it’s different, like, no, that doesn’t make any sense. I’ve never seen it. So it’s not real. And it’s like, that is not, that doesn’t actually help.

And if somebody doesn’t have, if they’re not a five on the enneagram or somebody who’s a deep researcher, they’re not going to keep doing the research. They’re just going to take things that face value and go, well, the doctor spent eight years in school and must be right. So I guess I’m just going to go through and do this thing. But I think of those system errors when it comes to that, but also the system of how the fuck are we in the spot? We’re in 2024. We’re one out of two men and one out of three women. What system?

is actually doing this? Is it the food system? Is it the family system? Is it educational with doctors? Is it all of it? How the fuck are we here? And why can’t we fix

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (26:16.719)
Right? That many people, I mean, we think about COVID and then you think about cancer and now it’s like we particularly in our community call COVID the cancer of the world because it was there and everybody just stopped, right? They didn’t ask for it. They don’t know how they got it. It was just this enigma and cancer is the same way. It’s not like

Nick McGowan (26:21.44)
Yeah.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (26:46.177)
Every person that’s ever smoked was going to get lung cancer. It’s not black and white. So, I mean, what you just said is like, we don’t know. So how do we deal with this? so because we’re trying to get to the root cause, but all we can really do is go into us to find out us. And it’s, we may never know the root cause. I’m not going to know why. I don’t know why my immune system did what it did and reacted the way it did so that it wasn’t working right.

So I need to work on what I can and that I have to say in all honesty and your audience might poo poo me and go, that’s just bullshit. But me finding me and living my life the way I want, whether it’s one, two, three glasses of wine, going up to nap, or having a grand old time, that’s what saved my life.

That was me finding, being on my soul’s journey, but being on my real soul’s journey, not somebody else’s, and not giving my power away to the doctors who say, this is the way that it has to be. In the last, my last journey with cancer, it wasn’t a blood cancer. I actually got a solid. It was a gastrointestinal stromal tumor, which is a stomach cancer, but they found it in my rectum. And they kind

threw their hands up. I was happy because it was a solid which meant I could actually have surgery and take out. That didn’t mean that it was gone. There’s always these micro particles, whatever. But they put the ono -oro chemo and at one point I said, I can’t do this anymore. And I got threats and you know, the statistically Sheri Ann, this is what’s gonna happen. And I just said, no, I can’t. So I’m stopping.

And that felt like one of the most powerful things that I’ve ever done is saying, no, I am truly listening to me, my body. Nobody else knows what my body’s feeling. And I’m making a choice. And that was almost 10 years

Nick McGowan (28:57.662)
And that goes back to the trust thing. I can speak for myself that I can trust, but I can also not trust because there are certain situations that have made us as people look at and well, maybe I can’t trust myself. Maybe that was the wrong choice or whatever. But in those moments, that’s where you actually get to sit into it and go, well, damn it. You put your foot down or you stop or whatever to go, this is what feels right to me. And I do believe that the body

mind and your soul all collectively come together to go, all right, we got this. It’s hard to be able to look at that. And you had said about the audience, potentially poo pooing, think really, you probably had people that are listening go, fuck yeah. Because really, it’s a matter of us speaking from our souls and doing things from our souls. We spend a lot of time just as people in the world, however many billions there are going

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (29:42.446)
Yeah.

Nick McGowan (29:55.679)
you know, we should do it this way or social media tells us it should do it this way. Or I was told that I need to go to school then pay to go to another school and get a piece of paper. says I can get a job that then tells me I can make some money, but maybe not be able to live off of it. And then I have all this stress and all these things and whatever. But one of the things you pointed out, not knowing where it comes from probably doesn’t actually matter because it’s just another moment for us to be able to go, all right, cool.

Here’s another thing. What do I do with that? And I’m not saying that as like a happiness and rainbow sort of situation of like, yay, look, it’s an opportunity for growth. Like yes, but no, like it’s, it’s in how we manage our mindset in that, those tough times. I’ve gotten messages from people that are like, Hey, you can’t manage your mindset through life. It’s just not all about your mindset. Like totally understand that attitude is a part of it. Your mindset is a part of it. The actions that you take are a part of it. It’s this big ass recipe.

of what you do in those moments. And you may not make the best choices that you thought were the best choices, but you’re probably making the choices that you feel are right in those moments. And you gotta live with that. You gotta trust on that. That’s gotta be difficult conversation to have with people that are actually sitting in the chair in front of you going, well, fuck, I feel like my body’s giving up. So what do you do in those times?

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (31:18.727)
I’ve actually, numerous situations, but one comes to mind right now of a client who said, I think this cancer wants to take me out. I mean, just that solid belief, it did, but there was a journey before that where it’s like, I’m not saying that because you believe that that it’s gonna happen, though attitude and whatever research has been done about it does.

make a difference and you know that and knowing your audience they know that too. However,

What I want?

What do I want

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (32:02.531)
That

We’re all just really trying to find our way and not be overwrought with what everybody else wants and not to give our power away to the doctor or that person or that. I I was just on social media this morning and it was like, why am I looking at the lifestyles of other people? That messes with my mind. It’s like, what do I want and come back to me?

But it’s so easy because they’re trying to seduce you. mean, it’s smart. It’s clever. It’s like, look over here at this bright, shiny thing, where then I’m so far away from me.

Nick McGowan (32:48.593)
You’re preaching to the choir with that one. stepped off social media about a year and a half ago. It has been glorious. and there are times where I can step back in. It’s funny, even with social media, I sell some music equipment and random things out of the garage on Facebook marketplace, cause that’s where people are. But you have to get to the newsfeed before you get to the marketplace. There’s not just a Facebook marketplace app because they want you to go through their newsfeed and the newsfeed will pop up and I can feel myself feeling a sort of way because I’ve seen somebody doing something. They’re all.

doing whatever climbing this stupid mountain or whatever thing is and it’s like it can affect us. But I think it can also just like anything else any sort of situation cancer looking at social media stubbing your toe in the middle of the night when you’re trying to go to the bathroom or whatever. It’s on us to be able to do something with that. And it’s up to us to be able to scream cry yell do whatever or we’re accepted and do something with it. And there

All of that may have to happen. Like you may have to scream, cry, yell, be really upset. And then you may have to be able to work through it. And then you might have to go, all right, fine, fuck you, cancer. Let’s do this

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (33:59.267)
Right, right, but it’s here for us to work with as is everything. So I really do say, know, life isn’t here against you, it’s for you in all its iterations. So if that’s true, what’s cancer got? And again, like you said, it’s not, well, everything is a lesson. It’s more of this tap on the shoulder.

But it’s been tapping me on the shoulder for a long time, so then now it wants to give me a kick in the ass. But I’m still not paying attention. So it’s like, I’m really telling you, you’re down a wrong pipe. Where do you really want to go? Do you want to pay attention? Because something is not going well. And we tend

tolerate not so great situations that become ugly situations and then horrible situations, but then it’s almost like our pain tolerance goes up and we’re still not doing what we want, but it’s okay. And then there’s a point and that’s why I’m actually really grateful for my cancers is that it finally said, are you ever going to fucking listen?

Nick McGowan (35:13.872)
Mm -hmm.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (35:18.2)
And I did.

Nick McGowan (35:19.234)
Yeah, wow. But what a, what a straightforward way to look at that. Because it’s like you’re, you got to get the point. You got to get the point. You got to get the point. Okay. Now you have to get the point. No, you didn’t? Okay. Let’s make sure you get it this time. No? Okay. All right. You need to get the point. And there, I think there are levels to all of that as you start to go through things and even talking about potentially toxic relationships.

or toxic situations or things that we just say, this is how it is. We started even before we hit record. You’d mentioned about an episode that you were listening to, we’re talking about generational and regional trauma. That stuff is just hand down to us and we don’t even know it. It’s just built within our DNA. And that is there that then disrupts the rest of our system. But it’s on us to be able to do something with that. And sometimes doing something with that is making sure that you go, well, I’m gonna fucking do something with it and it’s gonna

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (35:57.572)
Mm -hmm.

Nick McGowan (36:16.912)
But I’m going to, I’m going to be here, as you put it, getting into that pit and being able to actually be in there. I think of the people that can go into the void and they can live on either side, like here in reality. And then in the deep, deep recesses of the void to say, this is where life really is and be able to pull lessons from that. sometimes it takes us being in really, really difficult spots to be able to actually see that. And sometimes it’s repeated to do that.

With those people that are on their path towards self -mastery, what sort of advice would you give them as they’re walking toward

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (36:54.947)
As you were talking about being in the pit, I loved what you said. All I could imagine was a piece of coal that’s in the ground and doing it there. And then the pressure gets harder and harder and harder. And then we get a diamond that is so valuable, but not just because, it’s pretty on my finger. It is a strong substantive.

entity to this world and and has value not because people pay money for it but because it has a use and and that’s and that’s really the analogy I would love to use to answer your question is we’re all diamonds in the rough do we want to try or do we want to just stay in the ground it is a choice point and the pressure is still going to be there so what do you want which is for us the most powerful question we can

What do you

Nick McGowan (37:54.734)
Yeah, what a great way to go about that. And especially the amount of times that I’m sure we’ve all heard like, well, a diamond comes from a piece of coal and we can look at that and be like, yeah, I’ve heard all that shit before. Stop. But really in context, that is absolutely true. mean, scientifically that is how that works. And diamonds can cut through so many things. It’s not just a rock that sits on your finger. They’re used to be able to cut through so many pieces. They are the things that are actually chosen.

to be used over other tools and other devices because of the process that it went through. And it’s not just a surface level nice thing to say of like, well, you’re just a piece of coal and at some point it’ll be a diamond, just pressure will help with that. It’s a matter of actually understanding that there’s a deep process that happens, a long process that happens. And if we get macro with it and we understand that that process is basically what we can call life and that all those little situations will only make us stronger if, as you’re saying, we choose

we can choose to just stay in the ground or in case of this, you know, choose to then put ourselves in the ground or we can choose to actually do something with it. And I appreciate you bringing that up. I think it’s a beautiful way to put

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (39:08.58)
Thank you. You spurred that in me. You pulled that out of me. I’ve not used that analogy ever.

Nick McGowan (39:16.388)
Cool, well, happy to help. Look, this has been great. I really appreciate you being on today. I think this has been a great conversation and we’ve been able to get into a lot of deep things. And before I let you go, where can people find you and where can they connect with

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (39:17.73)
Heh. Heh.

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (39:30.871)
Thank you for asking. So we have a website that pretty much houses everything that we do. It is the CancerJourney .com. And if you go there now, we have a gift for you, which is a download. And it’s a guided imagery, guided visualization. It’s called a number of things, guided meditation, to meet your cancer.

And as we’ve talked through this, you don’t actually have to have cancer, but there is something poking you. There is something that’s saying, pay attention. And I think everybody would get something from this. So please go to their website, thecancerjourney .com, and get your free gift from us. And let’s see where it takes

Nick McGowan (40:17.261)
That’s awesome. And we’ll have that in the show notes. Again, Sharianna, it has been a pleasure to meet with you. I appreciate your time. Thank

Shariann Tom – The Cancer Journey Institute (40:23.331)
Thank you so much, Nick.