A Story Of Personal Transformation With Rick Harrigan

Few people reach where they are looking to go without some form of personal transformation. In this episode, Stephen Jaye talks with Rick Harrigan, whose story of personal transformation involves having what he thought he was supposed to have but coming to the realization that it was not the right place for him. He reached a point where he could not take it anymore. It's a place a lot of people find themselves in. "I don't know what I want to do; I just know I can't do this anymore." Rick now helps others who are in need of similar transformations through his holistic purpose-driven consulting service. Join in this conversation as he takes us throughout his journey, all the while offering some great insights and inspiration to help those of us who are looking for that personal transformation. --- Listen to the podcast here A Story Of Personal Transformation With Rick Harrigan On this show, we are not trying to tell you exactly what your dream, your definition of success should be or specific actions you should take. A lot of it is all about mindset. However, one key component to a lot of different stories about people reaching whatever their definition of success is a story of personal transformation. That being said, I would like to introduce you to our guest, Rick Harrigan, who has his personal transformation story, not only about his transformation but about how he's helping others with their journeys. Welcome, Rick. Thanks, Stephen. It's great to be here. Thanks for having me on. How are you doing? I am doing great. Let's start by talking about your own story of personal transformation. Where were you before you underwent your transformation? "Purpose is not something that takes place outside of ourselves. Purpose is about a sense of being and living into your sense of being." A large part of it starts even in my youth, the messaging that I received about expectations, success and what they meant. That's to say that I came from a blue-collar background, where the idea of success was very much around this white-collar success was pegged to wealth, the white picket fence and a lot of material things. Money was always a source of frustration and a lot of gnashing of teeth when I grew up. That became somewhat ingrained. I went on to college, stumbled into media and became a Corporate Executive in the entertainment realm in Los Angeles for twenty years when all was said and done, over that period, it started well. As my career progressed, I started making more and more money, got the family, the kid and the mortgage. I was doing what I thought I was supposed to do, what I should be doing. There was this little voice whose volume increased and increased that was saying, "This is not what you are supposed to be doing. This is not right for you." By the time I hit my '30s, I was by and largely miserable. It was the classic story of, successful on the outside, miserable on the inside. I ended up feeling constrained by the golden handcuffs where I was making a lot of money, had a lot of bills, expenses, expensive cars and things like that. I felt like I couldn't get out. I felt stuck by the circumstances that I felt I was supposed to create in my life. It was a dead-end street. I ended up completely feeling burnt out, frustrated, stuck, disconnected, kept this sunny, cheery disposition on the outside. On the inside, I realized that what I was doing was not touching any deeper sense of self or contributing to the world or society. I felt like a mercenary who was strictly making money for a corporation. Finally, when I reached the point where I was probably days away from a nervous breakdown, this was Los Angeles, there were a lot of long commutes, I had an epiphany. I read A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle for the third time. I don't know why. I felt compelled to read it yet one more time. It landed with me because I realized the answers to my frustrations and feeling stuck did not lie outside. They were all inside. It was a bit of a spiritual epiphany. It was enough of an opening where I could empower myself to seek some guidance to say, “Enough is enough,” and to look inward to find the answers that I needed. What I did was I found my own coach/guru/psychologist and started answering big questions that I had never answered because I fell into life. A couple of questions about that whole experience. First of all, as you were pursuing this corporate executive and Hollywood role, was there any part of you that felt like something might be missing at the time? Were you riding on that high from exactly doing what all my blue-collar family, friends back home, always dreamed of, “I should go with it?” Living purposefully is the ultimate job in life. It's the end of job security. That was the case a little more so in the beginning and also financially feeling compelled. When I rolled into Los Angeles, I was driving a 1985 Plymouth Horizon. I had one plastic bag full of CDs, another of clothes and about $80 in my pocket. To answer your question more directly, yes. That sense was always there. There was always this sense of, "This is okay for now. I will get to the meaningful stuff." Every year, that wasn't happening. I was in what many people refer to as drift. I was drifting along. Externally, it wasn't very painful but internally, that pain continued to amplify year after year until it became unbearable. One question I have about this period of drift is that anyone who goes through it has some distraction mechanism, whether it be drugs, alcohol, overuse of technology or sleeping around. Did you have a thing that was distracting you from that? It was booze. Part of my job was taking clients out on the expense account to fancy dinners, events, movie premieres, tv show premieres and all of that revolved around having drinks 3, 4 days a week, I was out. The expectation was to lubricate both myself because I'm naturally an introvert and then lubricate my clients. As that inner voice, sense of disconnect and lack of fulfillment amplified, it became a problem. I was drinking too much. That was a big part of my transformation, recognizing nothing is going to change until I create clarity and stop drinking. Would you say to anyone that is engaged in some activity, regardless of what it is? I recorded previous episodes that discuss the idea of not even being necessarily a specific item, like alcohol or drugs but the idea of being perpetually busy. For example, do you feel like people engaged in these things are simply buying time until something, some internal mechanism eventually brings you to the point where you have to have a reckoning? More or less, you are lucky if you do have a reckoning that you survive and come out the other side. Many people never have that reckoning or that reckoning is such that their lives are destroyed, in some way, shape or form. Personal Transformation: Finding your unique purpose and definition of success and living according to your values is being your own boss. As you go about your journey, what made you decide, “I'm going to go seek out a coach?” What made you make that specific decision? It was equal parts misery, reaching the boiling point where I could no longer take it. At that same time, whether it be serendipitous or simply because I was seeking it, I did have that glimpse of a spiritual epiphany as well in terms of connecting with something a little bigger than myself, a deepening of presence. That was what created that opening rather than glossing over this misery via alcohol or busyness, I’ve got present, took a breath and gave myself the opening to look inside. That's when I realized I don't have these answers. I was never equipped with the tools to find these answers. I need help. That was the greatest decision I ever made in my life, seeking help, recognizing the pattern year after year, the golden handcuffs and work with a coach. Tell me about your work with a coach. From what you told me before, it sounds like it's a little bit different than your standard career coaching service. This individual was straddling the line between a coach, spiritual guru and licensed psychologist with his PhD. We did a lot of deep psychological work dealing with some childhood stuff but running it all through the filter of who you are and who do you want to be moving forward. We started answering big questions about life that I had never answered. I had a good sense of who I was. There was a reason why I felt so miserable. It's because I wasn't aligned with who I truly was. It takes a bit of an objective lens to pop the hood, look under there and see what's going on. What are your values? What are your beliefs? What are your strengths, morals and purpose? How long did it take you to find that spot? We are always the totality of our experiences. It took a solid six months of internal work and deprogrammed some limiting beliefs and assumptions that weren't serving me, then reprogrammed with empowering beliefs and a positive belief system. I felt empowered to stand up and say, "These are my values. This is how I'm going to live. This is my unique definition of success, not the one that was foisted on me by my parents, society, teachers or so on." As you pursue this path, you pursued this six-month intense regiment of self-discovery. What did you hear from the people who had originally imparted this version of success onto you, people from your upbringing? By this point, my father had passed away. My mother had Alzheimer's so they weren't in the picture in terms of being able to offer me feedback. One of the things my father always did tell me was, “Be your own boss.” There was this whole idea of being successful and make money, too. I realized that as I was living into this, finding your unique purpose, your definition of success and living according to your values is being your own boss....