Not every magical moment feels good, but you can always find magic in it. Some of the most powerful lessons and course corrections in life show up disguised as disappointments, embarrassments, and situations that leave you wondering what the point of any of it was.
After decades of doing intuitive work and living a spiritually guided life, I can tell you with certainty that the magic is always there. Sometimes you just have to dig a bit deeper before you can see it.
Lesson #1: You Always Have ChoicesFor my 40th birthday I wanted to do something very different. During my 30s I had read everything I could find about the Findhorn Garden and loved each book. Founded in 1962 by Peter and Eileen Caddy and their friend Dorothy MacLean, the Findhorn Garden flourished against all odds.
Located in Scotland, on the sandy shores near the North Sea, the garden miracle resulted from intuitive guidance from plant devas, nature spirits, and their own intuition. The produce yield was astonishing, including 40lb. cabbages. I actually had the sacred privilege of meeting Dorothy MacLean in the early 1990s when she traveled to the US.
Completely enthralled with their connection to nature spirits and elementals, I booked a trip to Scotland as my 40th birthday present to myself. More than 20 years after the books I’d read were published, things had changed considerably. None of the original founders still lived there, and the program for first-timers was uninspiring.
I arrived to cold, rainy weather. I was shown to a room I was sharing with four other women. The shower was freezing cold. And I was given the esteemed job of vacuuming the dining room. Apparently my 40th birthday gift to myself included communal living complete with snoring and a spiritual janitorial position.
Not What I ExpectedThe scheduled workshops each somehow managed to be less magical than the last. After enduring one particularly awful exercise that required birthing myself, I asked the female group leader if we were going to be rolling around on the floor any further.
She didn’t take it well and started shouting at me. What did she shout? “You have choices!”
Well, that was unexpectedly useful. What a fabulous and timely reminder. That night I changed my flights. The next morning I walked into the office, let them know I was leaving early, and asked for a partial refund.
One woman explained, “We don’t do that.” My response was simple and polite: “Well, you will today for me.” And they cut me a check.
The woman who handed it to me said with genuine astonishment, “When people leave early, they usually aren’t happy like you are.” That comment still makes me laugh. I was happy because I had choices and I acted on them immediately.
Lesson #2: Course Correction Is Its Own Kind of MagicA friend asked if I wanted to take a mediumship class. I’d taken one before and knew it wasn’t a passion of mine. The part I enjoy is relaying messages from loved ones, but most classes focus on evidential work. This is about identifying who the spirits are, which doesn’t light me up. But my friend wanted me there and it was inexpensive, so I said yes.
During the second session, the teacher joined our Zoom breakout room. We were told to focus on one woman as our subject. Since mediumship isn’t my strength, I often feel hesitant. But this day I decided to fully trust myself and say whatever came to me. I was going for it!
I picked up on a lot of details and was relaying them confidently when the teacher stopped me mid-stream: “Ok, Ronnie, let’s move on from that. I’ll explain why later.”
Later came in front of over 80 people on the full group call. Her explanation? “What you were saying — you were making it up.”
I wanted to crawl under a rock. Nothing like public humiliation to really open your psychic channels.
Here’s where I netted out. Do I believe she can see every spirit that shows up and is 100% infallible? No. That’s a rather bold claim. Was everything I said completely wrong? I doubt that too. Maybe I was picking up on spirits simply not related to the subject — this happens all the time.
Regardless, one thing was crystal clear. I had choices. And my choice was that this class wasn’t bringing me joy or serving my highest path. I stopped attending. A couple of weeks later the teacher reached out to ask why.
I explained that being embarrassed in front of 80+ people didn’t call to me for more. This was a simple course correction. Not too glamorous, but that’s the magic.
Lesson #3: Remember Who You AreI had landed a great spot in a day-long online summit with a wonderful lineup of speakers. Very exciting! The morning of the event I went to check out the schedule and discovered another speaker whose talk description appeared to borrow and rephrase much of what I had written about myself for this very summit.
I was astonished and filled with anger. That’s not exactly the centered energy I was hoping for before my own talk. I called a friend to vent. That didn’t help or change anything. Shocking, I know.
So I meditated, and from that place I asked my higher self, my guides, and angels: What is this about and what can I do?
Here’s what came through: “Remember who you are and what you’re good at. Does her copying you affect your presentation? Can she deliver this information with the same knowledge or passion? No.”
“You cannot control what others do, but you can let your energy drain away rather than focus on yourself and the opportunity in front of you. Be your best and let the chips fall where they will.”
I pulled myself together and gave a wonderful, energizing presentation. I did my best and the copycat never crossed my mind again.
Everything Is MagicI’ve done quite a bit of somatic healing work with my friend Jen Aks, founder of The Power of Gesture. One day I’d been through some unmagical event and worked through the emotion to release it with Jen.
I told her what happened and how I was said that I didn’t get to experience the magic. Then she asked where I felt that in my body and what gesture could represent that. I demonstrated the showed and then another that followed showing I had moved on.
This last gesture was like swimming, with one arm out in front of me at a time. As tears welled up in my eyes, what became clear was that I hadn’t missed out on any magic at all. As it turned out, EVERYTHING IS MAGIC!
The Bigger Magical PictureNot everything is fun or exciting in a positive way and that’s okay. These three experiences still delivered practical magic. They redirected my attention and helped me course correct. Sometimes I needed time to look deeper for the message. Other times it was clear as day, even if I wasn’t thrilled about it.
There truly is magic in everything. When something unpleasant happens, the practice is to calm yourself, take a step back, and look for the message or meaning. That’s when you can appreciate how things unfolded and what came next.
So yes, it is absolutely okay to ask, “Where’s the f*ing magic in that?” And then look for it. That’s exactly how you find it.
So, Where Is the Magic?- Magic doesn’t always feel fun, uplifting, or even remotely pleasant in the moment
- Disappointing experiences often carry the most practical and redirecting lessons
- You always have choices, even when situations feel out of your control
- Course corrections are a form of magic, even when they’re unglamorous or not fun
- Remembering who you are and what you’re good at is its own kind of spiritual practice
- Looking for the lesson, even when you’re frustrated, is how you tune into and notice more magic
What does it mean to find magic in a bad situation? It means looking for the lesson, message, or course correction that a difficult experience is offering you. The magic isn’t always fun or exciting. Sometimes it’s as simple as realizing you have choices, or that something isn’t serving your highest path and it’s time to move on.
Do you have to be spiritual to find magic in hard times? Not at all. The core practice here is self-awareness. Pause when something goes wrong and asking yourself what this experience is redirecting you toward. That’s accessible to anyone, regardless of their spiritual background or beliefs.
What do you do when you’re too angry or upset to see the lesson? That’s completely normal and human. The first step is simply to acknowledge the feeling rather than push through it. Meditation, talking to a trusted friend, or any practice that helps you calm your nervous system creates the space needed to step back and see things more clearly.
Can this way of thinking apply to serious loss or trauma? This approach is really meant for everyday frustrations and disappointments — the situations that make you stop and think, seriously, where is the magic in this? It is not a framework for processing grief, trauma, or serious loss, which deserve their own care, time, and support.
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