Coffee with The Couple Cure

Does he get defensive, shut down, or turn it around on you when you bring up how he hurt you? Here's what's really going on inside him, and what has to change. "It's not that you're not listening. It's that you're still hurting." In this video: - "WE NEED TO TALK": why four words send him into fight or flight - "I'VE ALREADY APOLOGIZED": why your question keeps coming back - OWN IT, THEN DENY IT: the pattern that makes you doubt yourself - BECAUSE IT WORKS: what defensiveness protects him

"It wasn't that she was shaming me. It was that she was hurting. She was in pain." - In this video: - THE SHAME RAINCOAT: why he can't hear anything you bring to him - "SHE HAD TO RESCUE ME": how your pain turns into comforting him

Do family gatherings leave you feeling completely exhausted while your husband gets all the praise? - When visiting his family—especially around the holidays—an unspoken dynamic often takes over: you carry all the invisible emotional labor,

The best way for me to help her see the good person in me was to own the bad person in me. - That's the hardest thing I learned in recovery, and it's the whole point of this episode. If you've ever felt like you're walking on eggshells,

You have told him he is doing enough. That he has achieved enough. And somehow it does not land. - This one is personal for me. Lori had a name for what I used to do when I was stuck comparing myself to other men, and it was not flattering.

"Would you even recognize the man left standing in front of you?" - Most wives read his withdrawal after a lost job, a lost role, or a lost dream as rejection. It's usually something else entirely. This episode breaks down what's actually happening an...