Lurking Counts! How to Find “Your People” Online

The standard advice (pick a topic, search, join, introduce yourself, post daily) is the reason you feel stuck. It has almost nothing to do with how real online communities actually form.

Most disappointing groups are not the wrong topic. They are the wrong verb. Same subject, completely different activity happening inside.

You do not go find a community. You go find something you needed, and your people are standing right next to it. You find your people sideways.

A community is not 11,000 members. It is three or four people whose brains you enjoy reading.

Lurking counts. It is the first half of the job, done correctly.

Run the 5 minute vibe check on any room before you decide it is a bust: read the comments, find a disagreement, look for a joke, look for repeat names, check for repeated questions.

Not every room needs to be a living room. Some are pharmacies. Some are bulletin boards. All three are legitimate.

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