Behind ‘I don’t know’

There’s something our brain does when it doesn’t want to work for us:

I don’t know.

It feels super true, and it usually feels like the answer. But it’s not. It’s usually a signal that something valuable is behind it and needs to be explored.

When our brain offers up “I don’t know,” we often stop right there. We drop what we were thinking about, distract ourselves, or move on like that was the final answer.

It’s busted.

“I don’t know” is not the answer. It’s the signal.

When I hear myself say it now, I know that’s my next project. I’m figuring this out.

That’s what happened a couple years ago when I was trying to light the gas fireplace. I heard myself say “I don’t know” in a huff, and realized it was time to investigate. I had to get focused and determined. It ended up being simple. I just needed to press and turn with the right finesse. It probably took about a minute of focus, but to my brain it felt huge.

That’s what our brains do. They make things feel bigger than they are. One sentence — “I don’t know” — can make us feel stuck and want to quit.

So what do you do?

First, notice when you say it.

Second, invite yourself to find the answer:
If I did know, what would I do?
What do I think the answer is?

Third, be curious. Don’t beat yourself up. All brains do this.

Fourth, celebrate when you stay with it and find the answer. That little celebration helps build a new habit.

Being stuck doesn’t happen because you don’t have ability or experience. It happens when “I don’t know” gets to end the conversation.

When you look behind it, you won’t stay stuck.

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Tag @mschristiewilliams and share your top takeaways!

• Why “I don’t know” feels like an answer
• How “I don’t know” creates stuck
• Why there is usually something valuable behind it
• A simple way to investigate what’s behind “I don’t know”
• Why curiosity and celebration matter in the process

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