Discipline, Punishment, and Consequences in D/s LB058

Hosted by Kayla Lords and John Brownstone, episode 58 of the Loving BDSM podcast focuses on discipline, punishment, and consequences for submissives in D/s relationships. In this episode: Buy my books and help send me to Eroticon! Two sides of discipline: the discipline to do what you’re told as a submissive and being disciplined when you don’t do what you’re told. Funishment is a playful type of “punishment.” Use it or don’t, but don’t let it take the place of simply asking for what you want. Punishments are meant to suck for the submissive. It should be something that deters future bad behavior. As a submissive, the first real test of your submission is the first time you’re told No. Punishments should be negotiated during the beginning of a relationship. They should not be sprung on a submissive as a surprise.  Submissives must consent to a punishment. If you feel the need to withdraw your consent prior to punishment, there may underlying issues that need to be dealt with. Punishment and consequence aren’t quite the same thing. Punishment is the act. Consequence is the outcome, and isn’t always an act of punishment. After a punishment, the incident is over. Ongoing punishment or anger is not okay or healthy for a relationship. Deal with the issue and your feelings around the incident and move on. Punishment should not be given in anger. Dominants need to admit their feelings and then wait until you’re calm enough to punish. Dominants have to follow through. If you say that there will be a punishment for certain behaviors, you must follow through. Links from the show: Buy Kayla’s Books! The Responsibilities of a Dominant and a Submissive (podcast episode) Training a Submissive in a D/s Relationship (podcast episode) Follow Kayla on Twitter Stalk John Brownstone Kayla Lords on Fetlife John Brownstone on Fetlife Contact Kayla Lords Contact John Brownstone Follow the show: Subscribe by RSS Listen on iTunes (and leave a review if you love what you hear!) Podcast Addict (free app for Android!) Listen on Stitcher Or find us here: Two Thumbs Up Media Podcast Directory Pod D