The Save The Marriage Podcast

Do you find yourself and/or your spouse anchored to a problem by anxiety or anger? Guess what? Anger and Anxiety -- they come from the same space! One is the inner, the other is the outer expression of fear/hurt/threat. And wow, can it ever anchor both of you to the problems -- keeping you from moving to solution. Why does the Anxiety-Anger become an anchor? How do you cut the line and get back on-track to healing your marriage? Listen to today's podcast to learn more on releasing the Anxiety-An

Since my book, Thrive Principles, came out, people have asked me why I shifted my focus from saving marriages to thriving. In reality, there is no shift. My System on saving a marriage is the same path to having a thriving marriage. In fact, my focus from the beginning was on how to have a thriving life in all areas of living -- including in marriage. Which means that there are many cross-over points between how we thrive and how we save a marriage. In this week's Save The Marriage Podcast, I di

Sometimes, people tell me that as they are trying to save their marriage, they actually feel like they are trying to earn back the love of a spouse. They want to know if that is what it really is -- earning back the love (and even trust). The short answer is NO, that is not the goal. A slightly longer answer is that if you are working to earn back love, you are also working on building a unsustainable and not-very-healthy relationship. That is my topic for this week's Save The Marriage Podcast:

It may be an odd preoccupation, but I pour over the scuba accident reports. I like to see how the accidents happened, what led to the accident, and how it might have been prevented. The same approach is taken to studying scuba accidents as is applied to airline accident and medical accidents. And it should be applied to marriage crises. There's a theory of accidents in systems that is called the "Swiss Cheese Theory of Accidents." Another description would be "multiple causations in spite of pre

It happens. In the middle of a marriage crisis, you can find yourself surrounded by negativity. A spouse negative about the marriage. Friends and family negative about your efforts to save your marriage. You negative, well, about everything you are doing (it is easy to slip into self-blame and self-doubt). Negativity comes from several sources: fear, protectiveness, anger, resentment, lack of understanding, and lack of clarity. Regardless of the source, you may find yourself reacting poorly -- n

I get asked this on a regular basis, both from people who are in the middle of wanting to save their marriage, and those who are wanting to leave. This is what I get asked: "What does it matter if we save it or not?" In this episode, I cover some of the negative impacts that come with ending a marriage. Not to scare, but to clarify. Why clarify? Because when we are in pain, we tend to look for a way away from the pain. We tend to not think about those longer term effects. And then, we find ourse