SWM006: The problem with breastfeeding

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This episode is about a problem common to husbands with new babies: their wife’s breasts have been re-purposed. Check out the show notes here for more details and links.

They used to be his, and now he shares them at best, and usually not even that. Any stimulation triggers let-down and leaking. Nipples are too sensitive to touch. She is touched out, and sometimes even a hug is too much because of swelling. Meanwhile breastfeeding tends to enlarge them, he sees them far more often than before, and looser tops make them more accessible than ever. Larger, more visible, more available, and completely off limits. It would be a tease if anyone meant it that way, and nobody does.

On top of that, drive is usually down. Between pregnancy, birth, recovery, possible postpartum depression and the hormones of breastfeeding itself, desire drops. She is also getting a steady oxytocin supply from feeding, so she feels emotionally connected without needing him for it. He is being teased to death by circumstance and she often has no idea it is happening.

It does get better. It is a relatively short window, you get better at handling it with each child, and things settle down again. Proverbs 5:19 and 1 Corinthians 7:4 both get a look in.