ZT#202 Soiling the Nest

We discussed an 18 year old son's unwillingness to support the family system, Byron Katie's "The Work", and Soiling the nest- right before they leave home (for college, work, etc.), often become more defiant, withdrawn, irritable, or even uncooperative. It may seem counterintuitive, but psychologically, it helps them emotionally separate from the family in order to take the leap into independence. It’s a way of making the leaving feel more necessary—less painful.