Episodes

Losing your job in midlife can be take a significant emotional and psychological toll. From guilt, shame and loss of identity, redundancy is often accompanied by a messy and non-linear form of grief. Making space for that pain is a vital part of recovery, but once you have acknowledged that it is time to start to embrace possibility. This week Paul talks to career change coach and the author of the book Why Losing Your Job Could Be the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You, Eleanor Twedell. She b...

Many people fall into careers that are not necessarily of their own design, only to wake up two decades later feeling unfulfilled, stressed and miserable. And yet a career change in midlife seems daunting and impractical, and surrounded by potential problems that can seem insurmountable. This week Paul talks to Guido Regazzoni who, after finding himself struggling with stress, insomnia, antidepressants, and an overwhelming sense of dread about work, was made redundant. But after a period of refl...

The concept of purpose can be confusing and overplayed in some quarters, with much of the talk around this implying life missions that few can identify. But with questions like “is this it?” and “why am I here?” plaguing many midlife men, there can be little doubt that a sense of purpose is important if we want to thrive in the second half of life. This week Paul talks to keynote speaker and bestselling author David McNally to explore purpose not as a grand, elusive mission but as a series of me...

Testosterone levels in men typically decrease by 1% to 2% annually from age 30, and in midlife can fall below optimum. In fact, the average 22 year old today has lower testosterone than the average 70 year old had just 50 years ago. In an estimated 40% of men, this can lead to symptoms including low energy, brain fog, loss of motivation, emotional flatness and reduced libido. This week Paul talks to James Davis, the author of The Midlife Male Handbook, which takes a holistic view of transitionin...

The gradual ageing and then passing away of our parents is inevitable during midlife. But navigating the grief and the emotional turmoil that comes with the death of our fathers is incredibly complex. It can be the catalyst for many profound male midlife experiences, including both reflection and transformation. This week’s show features a deeply personal, raw and honest conversation between Paul and Ben Veal about grief, burnout, fatherhood and midlife identity. Bonded by the shared experience ...

It is often repeated that ‘men don’t talk’ and that, if they did, there would not be a mental health crisis among midlife men. Luke Ambler established ANDYSMANCLUB in 2016 following the tragic loss of his brother-in-law to suicide. Recognising the urgent need for safe spaces where men could open up without judgment, he started a small support group that has since grown into a network of hundreds of clubs across the UK, helping thousands of men each week. In this powerful and raw episode of Middl...

There’s very little more soul destroying for a midlife man than working in a job or a career for which he has lost his passion. And yet we tell ourselves the story that everyone has to do this, that it’s only for another 15 or 20 years, and that then we can retire and enjoy ourselves. Not realising that that impact of doing something that doesn’t fulfil you for two decades is incredibly detrimental to your health and wellbeing. This week Paul talks to Ken Valledy, who works with midlife men to e...

The andropause, or the male menopause, is the decline in testosterone that occurs naturally in men from their mid 30s onwards. Unlike the female menopause, the hormonal changes we experience are slow and subtle. And unlike the menopause, andropause is not a widely recognised medical condition. But the impact of low testosterone can be significant in some men. Ross Tomkins is the co-founder of Alphagenix, which offers medically supervised testosterone replacement therapy. He founded the company t...

Life changes can come thick and fast during midlife. From changes to family set up, whether that be having children or marriage break ups or kids leaving home, to shifts in career, to changes in location and social dynamics, to parental illness and death, midlife can be a tumultuous time when it is easy to fine yourself feeling overwhelmed, disconnected and lost. This week Paul talks to Paul Flynn who, after a number of big life changes in his late 30s and early 40s, found himself feeling isolat...

Cold water immersion has gained a reputation over the last few years as a bit of a cure-all for both physical and mental wellbeing, whether that’s wild swimming or a plunge pool or cold showers. But what does the science actually say? This week Paul talks to Dr Heather Massey, an environmental physiology researcher at the University of Portsmouth and a passionate outdoor swimmer. Heather brings both academic expertise and personal experience to the topic, exploring how exposure to cold water aff...

When it comes to therapy, men are reluctant to seek help. Most will only turn to psychotherapy when they hit crisis point, and even many of those who do seek out help will only do so because they’ve been given an ultimatum by their partner. This week Paul talks to Bill Sullivan, a psychotherapist who does a lot of work with middle aged men, about how therapy could and should support people navigating the challenges of midlife. Bill explains the emotional avoidance that has shaped generations and...

Loneliness among midlife men is at epidemic levels. One in five men report having no close friends, and loneliness is reported to be as bad for you as smoking or drinking excessively. Some argue that it is more dangerous than cancer due to the sheer number of people it impacts and its mental and physical effects. David Robson is the author of the book Laws of Connection, which explores why social connection matters even more than we thought, and how to build better relationships and improve our ...

Sleep is something that it’s incredibly important we pay close attention to for our physical health and mental wellbeing. Or so we are led to believe by the media. But acclaimed sleep physiologist Stephanie Romiszewski has a different take on this. She says that we have to stop worrying about sleep, as this is doing more harm than good. Stephanie is the founder of Sleepy Head Clinic and has a course on the BBC called Better Sleep, and this week Paul talks to her about sleep in midlife. We discus...

There is an overwhelming amount of content out there about what we should eat and how we should eat it. A lot of it is confusing and contradictory, and most of us simply want down-to-earth, practical advice that we can use every day to help us live healthier and longer lives. Dr Federica Amati is a medical scientist and nutritionist, and the author of the book Every Body Should Know This. The book approaches nutrition and diet from a life-stage perspective, outlining how our body's requirements ...

Many people have a complicated relationship with alcohol. They enjoy the perceived social benefits and the escapism it offers, but are also very aware that what they’re doing is little more than masking stress or anxiety. This week Paul talks to William Porter, author of the book Alcohol Explained, to explore the profound effects that alcohol has on our bodies, minds, and lives. William believes in self-knowledge and his approach is very much one of education, offering a fresh perspective on why...

Wellbeing, both physical and mental, comes into sharp focus in midlife. We want to know more and we want do more. But the sheer volume and variety of advice out there can be overwhelming. Sally Gunnell, former Olympic gold medallist turned health and wellbeing advocate knows more than most about physical and mental fitness. And in this week’s show, she shares her insights and practical advice into how to enhance physical and mental wellbeing in midlife, and maintain it as we age. Sally believes ...

When Middle Man was conceived earlier this year it was with a hunch that if I felt the way I did in midlife, then other men must be feeling the same way. Little did I know that quite so many men were feeling quite so disconnected, frustrated and alone. This week’s episode provides some tips on using the holiday season to put yourself in the best possible place for positive change in 2025, and it also revisits those first couple of episodes to look at how things have progressed since then, both f...

Shifting dynamics around masculinity have meant that it has come under fire in recent years, largely due to the unrepresentative viewpoints of an extremely vocal minority of outspoken public figures. But there are also those out there seeking to redefine modern masculinity in positive terms and to help men to navigate life’s complexities with authenticity and accountability. Tom Stroud appeared on the Netflix show ‘Love is Blind UK’ in the summer, and has since chosen to use the platform he’s be...

Many men report feeling ‘stuck’ in midlife. Trapped in their lives, no matter how ‘successful’ they may be, with no idea how to change their circumstances and lead lives that are more rewarding and fulfilling. But by exploring emotions, behaviours and values with curiosity rather than judgement, things can change fast. This week Paul talks to Nick Edgar about self leadership, and about the value of self awareness and emotional agility. While the path to self-leadership may seem at first to be a ...

Shame is an incredibly powerful and complex emotion that is often overlooked in the therapeutic environment. But particularly during midlife, unresolved shame could be one of the biggest emotional instigators of what is referred to as the midlife crisis. This week Paul talks to Rob Etherson, co-creator of Shame Containment Theory, about the concept of shame and about how and why it may negatively impact men in midlife. Rob explains how shame contributes heavily to the feeling of unworthiness tha...

Self doubt and lack of confidence plague many midlife men. It is among the most prevalent challenges men face as they transition into the second half of life, contributing to a sense of a lack of purpose, loneliness and poor mental wellbeing. This week Paul talks to Simon Burgess, the host of Life’s Second Act, who shares his journey of rediscovering purpose and meaning while navigating self-doubt, and explains how speaking with others on his podcast has broadened his understanding of what it me...

Long-term exposure to chronic stress can reduce life expectancy by anything from two to twenty years. It is estimated that one in nine UK adults feels stressed every single day, while three-quarters have felt overwhelmed or unable to cope at some point in the past year. This week Paul talks to stress expert Katie Maycock about the harsh realities of burnout and the impact it can have on the physical and mental health of midlife men. Katie takes Paul through the six stages of burnout, revealing h...

Many midlife men struggle with emotional pressures, feeling frustrated, lonely, stressed and lost. And they often feel unheard, reluctant or unable to speak up for fear of ridicule or rejection. But when it comes to self-help, there is a question that looms large: is there a lack of information for midlife men, or is it that they’re not interested in accessing it? In a bid to answer this discussion, Alice Kearney conducted research into what resources are available for midlife men and into what ...

A couple of years ago a trend called ‘the soft life’ started to emerge on the internet. But unlike most other internet trends, this one has particular relevance to midlife men, focusing as it does on emotional wellbeing and self-care. A strong advocate for the soft life is Dr Sarah Nicholls, an A&E doctor, burnout coach and YouTuber who embraced this way of living after experiencing her own spell of burnout. This week Paul talks to Sarah about living a life that reduces stress and instead priori...