S2 Ep 3 - When Men Experience Family Violence: Gary’s Story of Being Unheard, Misidentified and Finding Support

In this confronting episode of You Do Not Have to Put Up With It, Ms Carmella from DFV Lawyers speaks with “Gary,” a former client who shares his experience as a male survivor of family violence.

Gary describes how conflict in his relationship escalated into intimidation, objects being thrown, fear, emotional distress and a growing sense that he could not safely remain in his own home. He also speaks candidly about the shame and disbelief many men can experience when trying to disclose abuse, particularly when others struggle to recognise that family violence can affect men as well as women.

This conversation explores the difficult realities of male survivor experiences, including humiliation, isolation, fear of not being believed, concern about being seen as the problem, and the challenge of managing anger without escalating the situation. Gary also reflects on the legal process, police involvement, the importance of being properly heard, and the need for frontline responders and practitioners to recognise family violence without assumptions or unconscious bias.

The episode also examines recovery, accountability, emotional regulation and the importance of seeking professional support. Gary’s story highlights that family violence does not have a single face. It can happen to women, men, children, parents and older people, and every situation deserves to be taken seriously.

For anyone feeling overwhelmed, unheard or misunderstood, Gary’s message is clear: you are not alone, support exists, and there are safe ways to seek help without escalating conflict.

For more information, visit https://domesticfamilyviolencelawyers.au/carmella-acciarito/