7 Heartbreaking Lessons From Caring For A Parent With Dementia
When a fierce, independent parent develops dementia, the traditional support systems treat the journey like a jigsaw puzzle with a missing box top. They tell you to have "caring conversations" or wait for a DMV intervention—passive strategies that fail miserably in the trenches of real-world caregiving.
In this episode of Dementia Decoded, I sit down with psychologist, member of the International Memoir Writers Association, and author Dr. Sarah Church Vosburg to unpack the unflinching reality of navigating role reversal, midnight delusions, and the complex boundaries of spousal care. Sarah shares the terrifying moment her mother’s driving became a clear and present danger, and the brilliant, unauthorized "mechanic's secret" she used to secure safety without destroying her mother's autonomy.
We completely dismantle the passive advice of the medical establishment, look closely at the bittersweet natural metaphors in Sarah's stunning new memoir, Who Will Name the Bees, and discuss why dark humor is a mandatory protective shield—not a source of guilt.
What we decode in this session:
- The Car Keys Battle: Why forcing a parent to hand over physical keys fails, and how to change the environment instead.
- Script-Shifting for Delusions: How to handle 911 "dialing for dollars" calls and intense paranoia without trying to use failing logic.
- Rejecting the "Circus" Mentality: Recognizing when home care becomes an unmanageable crisis, and why transitioning to memory care is an act of protective leadership.
- The Bittersweet Truth of Grief: Finding moments of quiet clarity and wonder out in nature even as a brain changes.
???? TAKE CONTROL OF THE BOARD: Stop managing the caregiving crisis by trial and error. Download our comprehensive, no-nonsense Dementia Decoded Strategy Checklist to establish firm boundaries and protect your family: https://substack.com/@thedementiadecodedlab
???? GET THE BOOK: Find Dr. Sarah Church Vosburg’s award-winning memoir, Who Will Name the Bees, here: https://a.co/d/08FjsLWv