“I Have To” — But Do You Really?

“If you’ve ever whispered ‘I have to’ while dragging yourself through another day, this one’s for you.”

You know that moment when someone asks how you’re doing and your mind just goes blank because… you don’t even know where to start? That’s what “I have to” sounds like in real life.

“I have to show up…keep going…handle it.”

In this Support Pause, Shirl holds space for what it really means when Black women say “I have to.” She explores the quiet exhaustion behind it, the fear that nothing will get done if we’re not the ones doing it, and the possibility that — even in small ways — we can start telling ourselves a different story.

Because maybe you don’t have to do it all today.
Maybe you get to pause, even for five minutes.
And maybe that pause is where healing begins.

Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the 26 Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours.

Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7

Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you.

About Shades of Strong®
Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday.

• 26 Black Women Storytelling Series
• Schedule a 1:1 Support Session
• Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?”
• Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
• Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week  

Let’s Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform
•  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one
•  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space
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• www.shadesofstrong.com

Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.