Since When Did Boundaries Make Me Mean?

You ever ntice how fast folks start using the word mean the moment a Black woman starts choosing herself? Like boundaries suddenly make us the villain.

But here’s the truth — when you’ve been taught to serve, stretch, and self-abandon… even the smallest no can feel like an earthquake to somebody who benefitted from your silence.

There’s a difference between setting boundaries and being called mean for finally choosing peace — and we need to talk about it.

This pause is here to remind you: you’re not mean for listening to yourself. You’re not mean for putting your peace first. That’s called healing. That’s called unlearning. That’s called real support.

Got a story about what it’s cost you to be the strong one? We’re collecting real, lived stories for the Black Women Storytelling Series, and we want to hear yours.

Submit your story here → https://forms.gle/VsfFMjNjMt6eVLJp7

Come back every weekday for a new Support Pause — short, soul-soothing reflections made just for you.

About Shades of Strong®
Shades of Strong® is a space where Black women come to breathe, reflect, and reclaim strength without the struggle. Support Pauses are short, soulful reminders that you don’t have to carry it all alone. New episodes drop every weekday.

• Black Women Storytelling Series
• Schedule a 1:1 Support Session
• Get the Guide: “You Know Your Support Language™—Now What?”
• Take the Support Language™ Quiz. and learn how you actually receive support best.
• Get Support Right in Your Inbox: Gentle words, real-life reflection, and soft reminders every week  

Let’s Stay Connected:

• Subscribe to Shades of Strong on Apple Podcasts or your favorite platform
•  Share this episode with a sista who’s tired of being the strong one
•  Leave a review if the episode spoke to your spirit — it helps more Black women find this space
• Follow Shades of Strong on Instagram for daily reflections on what it means to be suppoted
• www.shadesofstrong.com

Shirl  is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.