Episodes

In May this year the Butterfly Foundation put out a “Mayday” call seeking to raise awareness and support for those suffering with eating disorders in Australia. They estimate there are now 1 million sufferers in Australia with less than 25%of those with an eating disorder in treatment despite the fact that eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. There are only 37 public hospital beds available for treatment across the entire country. Butterfly have declared this a...

When you’re battling the lies, self rejection and self destructive behaviours that come with an eating disorder you need natural and super-natural (spiritual) help to overcome them. I’m talking about light, truth, power and love…experiencing these things as more than a mental construct. We need help on all levels – biopsychosociospiritual. This one was key for me in my recovery. I welcome your feedback and questions. michellesparkes.com @mp_sparkes Please note this is part 2 – picking up from t...

When you’re battling the lies, self rejection and self destructive behaviours that come with an eating disorder you need natural and super-natural (spiritual) help to overcome them. I’m talking about light, truth, power and love…experiencing these things as more than a mental construct. We need help on all levels – biopsychosociospiritual. This one was key for me in my recovery. I welcome your feedback and questions. michellesparkes.com @mp_sparkes

I was an outpatient at Rivendell for two months before being admitted as an inpatient. The most significant development of this outpatient period was that my bingeing intensified. At the time I had no idea that the “binger” was a part of me. I identified only with my restricting “good girl” (anorectic) self. I was convinced the binger was my enemy, threatening to explode the safe, secure world I had created with all my rules and regulations. I had yet to discover she was the hungry, needy part o...

Part 2 in a series describing the escalating conflict and development of ‘voices’ I experienced as my anorexia progressed and my eating disorder “solution” became increasingly untenable. I knew I needed to eat. I hated feeling like a “burden” on my parents but the fear that drove my journey down the scales overwhelmed my rational self. This excerpt from Illuminating Anorexia gives the listener both an insider and outsider perspective. It’s me age 15, first person narrative, punctuated by diary e...

I recently uploaded “Escalating Conflict” – a chapter from my book describing the period when, after a few years on the restrictive path I clearly recognised my food control ‘solution’ was no longer working. It was now causing the parents I loved great concern. I was so conflicted – wanting to conform (to put on weight, to please mum and dad) but in being asked to let go of the food restrictions I was being asked to let go of the only way I knew of appeasing the accusing voice in my head and con...

Have you ever wondered about the voices a person with anorexia experiences? Escalating Conflict describes the growing conflict and development of ‘voices’ I experienced as my journey down the scales progressed and my eating disorder “solution” became increasingly untenable. I needed to eat. I hated feeling like a burden on my parents but I was increasingly fearful of losing control and being destroyed. This excerpt from Illuminating Anorexia gives both insider and outsider perspective. It’s me a...

When I first published Illuminating anorexia in 2011 I didn’t think it would be possible to tell the story of a long and complicated eating disorder without some reference to numbers, but then I met Bec, a beautiful 21 year old girl who was anorectic, self harming and recently suicidal. When she told me she would struggle to read a book containing body weight and BMI numbers, I resolved to write an edition of the book without them. This is now the only edition available. The truth is, I believ...

If you struggle with an eating disorder (ED) or disordered eating (DE) experience, the map (model) I developed in the late 90s will help you SEE why you struggle and what you can do about it. The ED ‘solution’ to the problem of pain will never never take you where you want to go. It will never ‘deliver’ the freedom, inner peace and self acceptance you HUNGER for. Once you SEE and get this truth at a deep core level, it will set you free to choose a better, more life-affirming, health-promoting p...

This podcast explains why I wrote ‘Illuminating Anorexia’ and describes the first time I recognised that my dieting had “gotten out of control.” It was a wake up call, and yet it would be another year before I was diagnosed with anorexia and began to get the help I needed. Early Intervention is such an important key for recovery. If you identify with this description, this journey, reach out….to myself or someone you trust that can help you find better ways to manage the challenges you face and ...

This is a radio interview I did with Hamish and Emma on The Dip (94.5FM) prior to the relase of the DSMV. It covers some general info about eating disorders, definitions and differences, media influences, body image, the “perfection lie” and recovery. It should be noted the DSMV no longer includes the 85% expected weight for height criteria that was part of DSM-IV Diagnostic Criteria for Anorexia Nervosa. The sound is not brilliant but there’s some great info here for strugglers and carers. Don’...

Originally shot as video and available on YouTube, this is the audio from the final instalment of a 3 part series exploring the precipitating factors that can lead into the development of an eating disorder. I draw on my personal and professional experience. The outcome is clearly unrehearsed and unpolished. My aim is to scratch below the surface and help you see what is (or might be) going on in your own unique journey. I welcome your feedback and questions.

Originally shot as video and available on YouTube, this is the audio from part 2 of a 3 part series exploring the precipitating factors that can lead into the development of an eating disorder. I draw on my personal and professional experience. The outcome is clearly unrehearsed and unpolished. My aim is to scratch below the surface and help you see what is (or might be) going on in your own unique journey. I welcome your feedback and questions.

Originally shot as video and available on YouTube, this is the audio from part 1 of a 3 part series exploring the precipitating factors that can lead into the development of an eating disorder. I draw on my personal and professional experience. The outcome is clearly unrehearsed and unpolished. My aim is to scratch below the surface and help you see what is (or might be) going on in your own unique journey. I welcome your feedback and questions. @mp_sparkes

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Recovery-Key-4-Take-Action.mp3 KEY 4 The fourth key to get FREE from an eating disorder (ED) is to take action. The preceding three keys have been preparing you to get to this point where the real “work” of recovery begins. There are a number of action steps to unpack here. The first is to develop a meal plan and plan to eat regularly. The second is to acknowledge that you will ‘fall’ off the plan and that’s OK! Falling is not failing. It pr...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Recovery-Key-3-Take-Inventory.mp3 KEY 3 The third key to get FREE from an eating disorder (ED) is to take inventory of where you are at right now. Don’t change a thing. I suggest you use a simple food diary for a week to become aware of the behaviours, thinking, feeling and situations that are currently part of your disordered eating experience. This key will further enlighten you and strengthen your resolve to make a decision to get off the...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Recovery-Key-2-Make-A-Decision.mp3 KEY 2 The second key to get FREE from an eating disorder (ED) is to make a decision to stop spinning your wheels by ceasing to engage in ED behaviours (restricting, purging and overexercising). This may seem impossible right now. I get that. That’s why you first need to adjust your vision and SEE that the ED will never take you where you want to go (key 1). Once you SEE that, it empowers you to consider you...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Recovery-Key-1-Adjust-Your-Vision.mp3 KEY 1 The first key to get FREE from an eating disorder (ED) is to adjust your vision and SEE that your destination is not to be stuck on the ED treadmill, spinning your wheels, losing health, opportunities, LIFE! Your destination is freedom and joy, to feel good in your skin, at peace in your soul. Once you can SEE that the ED will never take you where you want to go, it empowers you to consider your al...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Recovery-Keys-introduction.mp3 When I travelled through anorexia, EDNOS and binge-eating as a teen and young adult, I felt like if I could just “get above” the problem maybe I could see a way out of it. As it was, I felt stuck in a maze, spinning my wheels, losing vision, hope, health and my future. Twenty plus years later, as a fully recovered person (and health professional), I can see and articulate now what was impossible then. It is my ...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/You-are-not-your-body-1.mp3 You are not your Body. Your body is your home. In an image saturated culture it’s good to be reminded that your worth and value as a person do not depend on your physical size, shape or appearance. When we “get” this truth at a deep (core) level it sets us free to look after our body and self in ways that are truly nurturing and health-promoting. Copyright 2016 Michelle Sparkes

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Going-deeper-to-fight-the-lies-despair-2.mp3 Over Easter I joined the chat on a wonderful pro-recovery FB group (Anorexia, Bulimia and EDNOS Recovery Support Group) – and was very stirred by the despair I heard in one young lady, Megan B. I reached out to Megan and the admin onsite but there was no response from MB. This episode is inspired by and dedicated to her (and anyone else who feels hopeless and despairing). May the truth of your wor...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Going-deeper-to-fight-the-lies-despair-1.mp3 Over Easter I joined the chat on a wonderful pro-recovery FB group (Anorexia, Bulimia and EDNOS Recovery Support Group) – and was very stirred by the despair I heard in one young lady, Megan B. I reached out to Megan and the admin onsite but there was no response from MB. This episode is inspired by and dedicated to her (and anyone else who feels hopeless and despairing). May the truth of your wor...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Going-deeper-to-recover-your-joy-vision-for-life-2.mp3 When you’re in the ED space it’s not easy to tap into your joy and ‘feed’ your soul. To fight the critical, bullying ED voice, you need to nurture your soul and the healthy part of you that says, “Wait a minute, surely I deserve something by now…” and the truth is, YES you do! You deserve nurture. You deserve life. You deserve food! To get free from your ED the roots of your BEing will n...

https://michellesparkes.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/Going-deeper-to-recover-your-joy-vision-for-life-1.mp3 When you’re in the ED space it’s not easy to tap into your joy and ‘feed’ your soul. To fight the critical, bullying ED voice, you need to nurture your soul and the healthy part of you that says, “Wait a minute, surely I deserve something by now…” and the truth is, YES you do! You deserve nurture. You deserve life. You deserve food! To get free from your ED the roots of your BEing will n...