Episodes

It's Halloween! The one day when it's perfectly acceptable to take candy from strangers! This year, Halloween will of course be a more sedate affair, since we can all agree that 2020 itself has been scarier than anything October alone can throw at us. Nonetheless, the guys are celebrating the holiday by exploring the spooky, kooky history of the grand tradition of haunted houses. Make sure all the lights are off for this one, and don't ever, ever listen alone.

You've all been such great listeners, that today we are rewarding you with everyone's favorite activity--a pizza party! Come on a drive-along as the guys explore the frenzied, unsurprisingly sexy, and surprisingly dangerous world of pizza delivery. This week's episode is everything a great pizza should be: hot, fresh, steamy, and cheesy! Enjoy it right when it arrives, or later, because cold podcast is still good podcast!

Last week, the guys visited with some of the world's stupidest criminals; this week, they'll teach you how to become one! Of course, to be a stupid criminal, first you need a stupid law to break. That's why this week's episode is a deep dive into some of the weirdest laws still on the books, from how to properly handle a frog who died in a jumping contest, to exactly how much toilet paper you need to have on hand to operate a coal mine. Please enjoy responsibly.

We all make mistakes, and we can all be a little stupid sometimes. But when both of those things are true at the same time, well that, friends, is when magic happens. This week the guys stumble through the escapades of some of the world's most idiotic criminals, from a pair of love-struck waterfowl thieves to the worst Elvis impersonation imaginable. Enjoy laughing at the blunders of these master criminals, but remember: in no way is this a comprehensive list. This episode features scads of dund...

Weeeeeeeeeeeee're Back! 2020 has been a tough one for all of us, and with things going as crazy as they are, we just couldn't stand back and stand by. These boys are too proud for that. #ProudBoys. And so we're back, with an episode that has nothing to do with the world today. Yes, we are fully embracing your escapist desires, and beckoning you to join us in the wacky past. This week, the guys ooze down into a sticky situation, reveling in the lip-smacking, viscous gooeyness of the Great Canadi...

Ah, San Francisco! Home to picturesque city scenes, quaint cable cars, and down-and-dirty fucking in the streets. This week, the guys lube up and wade into the gritty world of Folsom Street Fair, a sex-positive, leather-positive, alternative lifestyle-positive street fair held yearly in San Francisco and branching out to other cities across the world. Do you consent to listening this week?

Mary was an elephant Back in a circus show. And everywhere that Mary went, Mayhem was sure to go. It followed her to Tennessee, The place she met her end. And all because, unwitting, she Pancaked her untrained friend.

If the news has you down, this episode is sure to cure what ails you!* - Ah, modern medicine. A pill for everything, marijuana on demand, and the sweet release of anesthetic oblivion for anything more invasive than a teeth cleaning.

We're baaaaa-aaaaaak! - And for our 69th episode, we thought it only fitting to dive headfirst into the seedy world of Vegas strip clubs, where sex is sold alongside the most ubiquitous legal drug: alcohol. - This week,

Nothing says Christmas quite as much as a drunken mob of Santas descending on local bars, flinging Brussels sprouts at each other, distributing inappropriate gifts to terrified children, hanging from traffic lights, and beating up unsuspecting accountants dressed like elves. Or wait, toys. Maybe toys mean Christmas more than the mob thing. Anyway, this week the guys ho-ho-hop into the old sleigh and jingle all the way to the bottom of the convention that's really just a pub crawl: SantaCon. Th...

We've been holding this episode in for nearly a month, and we're about ready to burst! With anticipation, that is. This week on The Bright Side, the guys hold their breath and dive, nose first, into the wacky, malodorous world of professional farting! A time-dishonored tradition, professional farting has been around as long as there were performers who wished they were more talented. En gasse, they have entertained royals and common folk alike, for if there is anything that can truly unite a div...

The truth is out there, apparently, and this week, the guys journey to the beyond to find it. Along the way, they encounter the Fox Sisters, a trio of mid-nineteenth-Century women who turned an April Fools joke into a religion called Spiritualism. Come along and learn the outlandish and spooky tale of these weird sisters, who duped desperate, grieving people into parting with their money just for the chance to hear some--admittedly--very impressive knuckle cracking.

So, if that title didn't freak you out, we want nothing to do with you. This week, the guys try to tame the Toronto Circus Riot of 1855, a rollicking moment of chaos in an otherwise very polite town, where corruption, sex, and religious fervor combined to whip up a wacky cocktail. Along the way, we will somehow encounter Oompa Loompas, singed giraffes, and the invention of ASMR. Grab a Labatt Blue and a hockey puck and settle in for a heck of a time, eh!

Nothing says "America" like moving to a neighborhood because it's close to a national landmark, then being pissy at people who want to come into your neighborhood to view the same landmark. And nothing says "City of Angels" like the Hollywood Sign. This week, the guys hike up the hill to excavate the history of one of America's most iconic images, and discover the disturbing death of "the most famous actress you've never heard of."

America's Civil War was a time of great strife, with brother pitted against brother, the nation ripped apart, and...a boat full of whores floating upriver? Yes, you read that correctly. Inspired by New York State's upcoming decriminalization of sex work, this week's episode looks back at an early, surprisingly successful attempt to regulate sex work in occupied Nashville, Tennessee. But don't worry--as with most successful attempts, this one comes along with plenty of ridiculousness before reaso...

Gators! Riding Lawnmowers! Flying Bricks! This week's episode has everything: a time-traveling Floridian, a swan-punching Floridian, even a Floridian hoping to become a Bermudan through the clever use of a massive hamster wheel! If that last sentence didn't make any sense, don't worry. You're not alone. This week, the guys brave the Mosquito Coast to find the true identity of the World's Worst Superhero: Florida Man. If you can dodge the gators, you will find much to enjoy this week as we delve ...

If your roommate suggests cutting up the body of your friend whom you have both murdered together, move. That's just one of the helpful life hacks (!) that you will find this week, as the guys take a stab at the infamous "Club Kid" murder of Angel Melendez by Michael Alig and Robert "Freeze" Riggs. You may know the movie "Party Monster," based on these events, but you don't know the whole story! You still won't once you've listened to this episode, but hey, you'll have been entertained!

Everybody needs a hobby, but if you're not pooping yourself occasionally, are you really dedicated? This week, the guys wade into one of the nerdiest battles in history: the war for the undisputed top score in the Donkey Kong video game. Grab your quarters, limber up your thumbs, and learn what happens when people spend far too much time perfecting a skill that could not matter less.

WHYYYYYYYYY?????!!!!!! - Olympic figure skaters may seem graceful, but don't let their peaceful exteriors fool you. This week, the guys attack the famous Tonya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan Incident during the lead-up to the 1994 Winter Olympics.

Marathoners are a special breed. On their best days, they battle the elements and the limits of human endurance. This is not going to be one of their best days. This week, the guys run full speed through the history of the worst-planned and -executed marathon in modern history: the 1904 Olympic/World Fair Games in St. Louis, MO, where the--ahem--arch support left a great deal to be desired.

Welcome to the Pacific Northwest--home of Bigfoot, the Space Needle, and Mass Hysteria! This week, the guys take the scenic route through the Windshield Pitting Mystery of 1954, in which a complete non-event led to widespread public panic. The winding tale will lead us through several crazy pit stops (Get it!?), including angry rocks, self-pleasuring orcas, and a completely unconvincing military denial. Get your ass in gear and join us!

Ah, the joys of public nudity! Who among us has never had the urge to strip off and run frolicking through the streets or onto the field, celebrating the freedom of youth and revelling in body positivity? In other words, who among us has never been drunk? This week, the guys uncover the mostly zany, occasionally unhinged history of streaking, from its origins as a religious movement to some of the most famous career streakers (Yes, you read that right). And while we would never endorse public i...

Vibes are no joke. When the vibes are good, peace, love, and music abound. When the vibes are off, however, things can go downhill faster than a passed-out concert-goer rolling towards a tiny stage. If that metaphor seems strange, you clearly don't know about the Altamont Music Festival of 1969. Modeled after the utopian Woodstock Music Festival earlier in the year, Altamont quickly nosedived into a drug-addled melee that would become legendary in its failure, cost 4 lives, and tarnish the reput...

Oof, this one is tough. On March 25, 1911, in New York City, the Triangle Shirtwaist factory burned, becoming one of the deadliest industrial disasters in American history. This week, the guys sift through the ashes to find out just what happened and who's to blame. Spoiler: it's not looking so good for capitalism.