Episodes

Todd & Cathy share a marriage challenge where Cathy was able to speak up (not easy), and Todd was able to really listen (also not easy). In couplehood- Can we allow our partner to share their pain without taking it personally? Are we brave enough to ask for what we really want? Instead of preaching to others, can we begin to offer what we want to receive, love instead of fear, and BE the change we want to see in the world? Today Cathy and Todd talk about the challenges of today’s culture, but a...

We talk with Mary Ellen Young & Sandra McDonnell about their book, Elements for Girls: A Fun and Engaging Self-Discovery Project. This book supports preadolescent and teenage girls on their journey of self awareness, and offers them a sense of acceptance and empowerment as they grow. We shared their book with our Be U girls, and have gotten tremendous feedback. Listen as we discuss the challenges faced by young girls and how to support them, and why this book may be the first step toward meaning...

Todd & Cathy discuss the “two wolves” parable and how we can use this when we are teaching our kids. An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life… “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. “One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego. “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humili...

On today’s show we discuss why it’s important to support children’s dreams, and why it’s important to do what you love. We talk about Dave Grohl, Jim Morrison, Billy Corgan, and other famous people who realized their dream regardless of what they were told. Parents can redefine what it means for their children to be successful, and they can focus their energy on acceptance and belonging. This results in children who are intrinsically motivated and who have a sense of self worth. Michael Jordan’...

We interview Matt Theodores who is the director of Maine Boys To Men. Boys To Men supports the happy, healthy, non-violent development of boys and those who help raise them. By working with parents, teachers, coaches, boys and girls, Boys to Men challenges the pervasive messaging that defines masculinity in terms of violence, harassment, apathy and sexual conquest. Their programs support empathy, tolerance, respect, leadership, and critical thinking. In the interview, we discuss the focus of th...

We’ve made it to 200! We celebrate by hearing from our listeners and by listening to some of our “greatest hits”. We also talk about the intention of Zen Parenting and why self awareness leads to more connected families and eventually, a more connected world. Thanks for listening, we appreciate you! We announce the release of Cathy’s new book, Living What You Want Your Kids To Learn- The Power of Self-Aware Parenting as well as our two week Self-Aware Virtual Retreat. Information can be found b...

Do you get annoyed by your fear? Are you tired of being afraid? We discuss how to shift the way we look at fear. Pema Chodron said, Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth, so maybe our fear is trying to help us, heal us, push us closer to who really are. We never stop being afraid, but we can begin to have a gentler relationship with the discomfort. We discuss how to talk to your kids about hitting – punishment and consequences may not be working, but how about a down-to-earth...

Our guest Alfie Kohn, author of The Myth of the Spoiled Child, says that the negativity thrown at parents and the supposedly narcissistic kids they are raising is unfounded. Kohn says parents should work to raise kids with high self esteem, and that the fashionable belief that kids must develop grit and self-discipline through failure and suffering is unproven and often counterproductive. A few of the topics we discuss with Alfie: Warm responsive parenting is often confused with over indulgent...

We are always told to avoid “toxic” people, but sometimes it’s difficult to completely cut ties. This is when we learn to set boundaries. Cathy shares a metaphor she found in Glennon Melton’s latest blog – the reason we can see the beauty of a tiger behind bars is that we are safe from being devoured. If we don’t set up our own boundaries (bars), then we risk allowing others to take advantage of us (and we miss their beauty!). We also share the website worldpulse.com – it allows women from all ...

Are you supporting your partner instead of listening to your own internal knowing? Are you choosing to support rather than voice your opinion? Supporting your partner and kids is important, but if you do it by hurting yourself, it can create resentment and disconnection. Cathy and Todd go deep on this one (think Zen Parenting grad school) and ask listeners to practice extreme self awareness. If you take care of yourself first, and do what feels right, it may create an environment for others to d...

Our friend Shawn Bowen tells her story about her son Matthew who was diagnosed with down syndrome in the hospital 4 days after he was born. Matthew is now 7 and is amazing as he was when he showed up seven years ago. Shawn talks about her initial reaction to Matthew’s diagnoses, advocating for her son in a school system, Matthew’s health challenges, and how the perception of down syndrome has changed for the better as time goes by. Hope you enjoy… Other Resources We invite you to attend a live ...

Do your kids love to dance, or play sports, or be artistic at home? Do you keep insisting that they need to take a class? We all want what is “best” for our kids, and that often means getting them into the “best” class with the “best” teacher at the “best” facility The intention is based in love, but what if your kid doesn’t want to take a class? Maybe he/she just wants to enjoy the creative process without being told what to do. We can always offer a class or opportunity for growth, but our ki...

Time-outs are typically viewed as an effective parenting technique, but the latest brain research suggests that they may be making things worse. Instead of using time-outs as a break, parents have used them as punishment. This isolates the child and eliminates the possibility for connection and compassion at a time when they need it most. We discuss the blog written by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, where they share how the latest brain research have proved time-outs ineffective. ...

Have you heard of He for She? This campaign, headed by the UN, is asking men to stand up and support gender equality – not just for the sake of women, but also for their own freedoms and for the welfare of our nation. Emma Watson is the Ambassador for He for She, and she gave an amazing speech yesterday in front of the UN. She was given a well-deserved standing ovation. Click here to check out HeForShe. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9SUAcNlVQ4 Todd reads a few questions from listeners about...

In this “special edition” episode of ZPR, we discuss spanking and hitting, especially how it relates to the Adrian Peterson case. Three-fourths of our country still believes in spanking as an appropriate method of discipline, so instead of pointing fingers and demonizing, let’s discuss, understand, and pay attention to why and how this became acceptable. Emotions, outbursts, and negative behavior are all messages; our children’s way of communicating needs and challenges. Is causing them physica...

as they try to change their worlds….are immune to your consultations, they’re quite aware of what they’re going through – David Bowie’s famous line from the song “Changes” sums up our misunderstanding of children today. Todd is sick of hearing people say kids are more spoiled than ever or kids are narcissistic, it was never like that when I was young….“The Myth of The Spoiled Child“, a book by Alfie Kohn, proves that these assertions are simply not true. We play a few clips from the documentary...

Our daughter was struggling to get out of bed this morning – struggling to get dressed, struggling to eat breakfast. The trick to dealing with a scenario like this is to check yourself before responding (even if you have to fake that you are not frustrated). If we meet this situation with a sense of calm and trust natural consequences, we may be able to sidestep some possible landmines. We discuss how to support your loved ones when they are grieving. Todd shares his insights after losing his m...

Instead of posting a new podcast, we are reposting one of our favorites, the one where we interview our moms. Unfortunately, Todd’s mom passed away last weekend, and we wanted to share this to honor her. We share some great stories, have some great laughs, and near the end, Sharon (we call her GG) shares how at peace she is with her family. Please listen and enjoy – and even more important, be good to each other. In honor of Mother’s Day, we invited our moms to talk about what we were like as k...

We lost our “Zen Bunny” Greeley last week and it was a shock to our family. How do we deal with the grieving process, and how do we help our children deal with their sadness? As parents we need to allow our children to grieve, and respect that it’s an individual process. We also discuss how to handle “disrespect” from our children – are they trying to be mean, or are they trying to communicate something? If we can do our best to not be offended and communicate in a productive way, it will keep ...

We discuss the newly revised version of “Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill” a book written by Lt. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGateano, Founder and CEO of the Parent Coaching Institute. Originally published in 1999, the book is updated and includes even more indisputable research that demonstrates the affects of violence on the child and adolescent brain. We also talk about the “Ignore No More” app created by a mom who wanted her son to respond to her texts/calls, and also Cathy’s blog titled , “Wan...

Robin Williams’ death prompts a discussion about mental illness and depression. We play some clips from his most meaningful roles as well as some of his stand-up. Mental illness carries a stigma that makes asking for help difficult. We support a group called NAMI (National Association of Mental Illness) and we discuss the importance of removing the stigma from mental illness. A few other clips discussed in the show: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3yqXeLJ0Kg&list=PLZPBiTEeqgyqoiyay3UOAQoEwJO3r...

Sometimes we make decisions based on old patterns from childhood, even though they are unnecessary or unhelpful today. The first step toward understanding why we make certain decisions is to become more self aware and introspective. It also necessitates listening to other viewpoints and being conscious of our own defensiveness. Our children, spouse, and friends can all act as mirrors – allow them to help you see yourself better. For example, when Todd was younger he always asked friends to come...

The NFL and Comissioner Roger Goodell handed down a punishment to NFL player Ray Rice for allegedly knocking out his fiance in an Atlantic City Casino. Some players have been suspended for 5 games for memorabilia violations, others 4 games for violating the league’s drug policy. Ray Rice received a suspension of ….. wait for it ….. 2 games! We discuss the inconsistencies of this decision and why this sends the wrong message to players and society. Two other resources supplied by one of our list...

Is there a difference between a happy life and a meaningful life? We explore the subtle differences and why this understanding can change your life. We discuss a blog by Jed Diamond (Founder of the health program “Men Alive”) titled How the Science of a Meaningful Life Can Help Us Live Joyfully and Well: Happy people satisfy their wants and needs, but that seems largely irrelevant to a meaningful life. Happiness involves being focused on the present, whereas meaningfulness involves thinking mo...