Episodes

Topics: The Science of happiness, fathers who expect more from their sons, and using medical marijuana for sick kids We discuss two videos regarding the science of happiness: 4:24 The Science of Happiness 7:41 Showing gratitude is one of the keys to happiness (Soul Pancake Video) 8:45 Different ways to show gratitude without the guilt 9:30 Bon Jovi Concert Review 11:27 Tom Shadyac– Figure out what you do best and make that your way of giving back 13:38- We address the critics who say it’...

Turning your children’s failures into positive experience, When children blur the lines between fact and opinion and how we can help them. If you want to make your life less chaotic, then you need to make a shift in your perceptions. We discuss what imaginal cells are in a butterfly and how we can learn from them. Both how it affects our own life as well as how we’re connected to one another. We get some help from the way one of our favorite authors Bruce Lipton. Go visit your parents or go to ...

The word you need to incorporate into your parenting- “WAIT”. On todays show we discuss the following blog which can be found here. An excerpt from this blog… Parents need to slow down, stop comparing, and wait. This word, “wait,” is used too rarely in today’s frenetic lifestyle. Magda Gerber, a renowned child therapist and infant specialist, considered waiting to be a fundamental part of her child care philosophy. Parents don’t wait for their babies and children often enough, since we’re alway...

We discuss the story about a mom “spy” who told her 12 year old daughter she could spend time with her her friends, but also said she had to stay within a designated area. If she left the area, she was supposed to call her mom and let her know. The mom dropped off her daughter and then pulled the car around the block and parked out of sight so she “spy” or still see her daughter. The group of kids eventually left the designated area and the girl did not call her mom. Mom called the girl’s cell ...

Cathy and I talk about sibling bullying. Is it accepted more because it’s part of living with brothers and sisters? Or maybe because bullying was part of our household growing up? We discuss a USA Today Article entitled “Bullying By Siblings Just As Damaging” Keep in mind it’s not just physical, it’s psychological as well. We give our two cents as well as some tools how to recognize if bullying is a problem and what to do about it. We also discuss an article titled “Coaches Pushing the Envelope...

This week Cathy and Todd focus on two things: Emotional Intelligence and Summertime Blues. What is the importance of raising emotionally intelligent boys? They are offering a class for 5th grades (10 boys/10 girls) and the girls filled up almost immediately. The boys have been more of a challenge to recruit. They discuss why, and they specifically cite Cathy’s latest blog about why we need to let our sons feel. They talk about their 5 year old who decided she didn’t want to play in her soccer g...

Cathy and Todd introduce you to their new program titled Be U: Helping 5th graders become emotionally intelligent leaders. Kids are always being told to focus on their IQ, but what about their Emotional Intelligence? Do they know their value and importance? Do they know how to work with others? Do they know how to manage their emotions? This 6 session program (offered in Elmhurst, IL) targets 5th graders to help them feel grounded in who they are before they head off to middle school. If you liv...

My guess is that your answer is, “I hope so” or “Of course I am”. Sometimes what we wish for our kids is different than how we treat our kids. An example of this trust issue happened to me at Great America when I waited in line with my daughter to get on a roller coaster only to find out when it was our turn to board that she was too afraid to get on. There are two extremes of handling this situation- either force your child through guilt, shame, or fear to get on, or you can say nothing at all ...

Is it naïve to be positive, or is it naïve to be negative? This is the question surrounding the short video entitled “This is Water”, an audio from author David Foster Wallace’s commencement speech. It’s backed up by meaningful and thought provoking video, reminding us to consider that if we view the world differently, we can change our own reality. Cathy and Todd discuss the common “monotony” of an adult day, and how we can make choices to live a more beautiful life, and recognize that we are i...

Sticks & Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me – is it true? We think yes, and we think no. Our friend’s daughter came home saddened by a classmate who said something mean – mom replied with, “words schmerds, don’t worry about it.” And her daughter said, “But those words hurt me.” We talk about the paradox of the importance and unimportance of words – they are powerful IF you give them significance. You may feel the initial pain of words, but do you integrate it as truth or do ...

In a blog by Jill Kirby titled “If This Is Average, Then I’ll Take It” We discuss that in a “bell shaped” curve, most kids are academically average, yet very few parents are willing to accept this. We continue discussing how a kid might be average in the classroom, yet have other special gifts. Could they be good enough? And is good enough something you can handle? It is our job as parents to nurture and help our children discover their own special talents and gifts. We also discuss the continu...

Jason Collins comes out as the first openly gay current NBA star. We discuss why this will help our culture to continue to evolve to be one of inclusiveness instead of one of exclusion. We also talk how this will positively affect all young boys and girls who are gay now might be able to look at this situation and imagine possibilities of their own life that were otherwise more difficult to see. We discuss Senator Rob Portman from Ohio changing his position on gay marriage after his son came out...

The Butterfly Effect, you have heard of it right? What you do has ripples and effects others around the world. In the wake of the Boston Bombings, and all of the activities that have taken place since, it appears that there is no better display of the Butterfly Effect to be seen right now. Cathy and Todd talk about how teaching your children about this idea can lead them down the road to success and goodness. The foundational components of goodness in children can be visualized through their emo...

Cathy and Todd follow up on last week’s ADHD discussion because they received some not-so-happy feedback from some listeners. They address the fact that often times when a child is medicated, it can be a very difficult and well thought out decision, it’s not always thought of as a quick fix. But in too many cases, it’s the first choice, and that’s where a new perspective or different options may make a difference. They also take issue with a Colorado school that implemented a no running/yelling...

Are there “alternative” ways to deal with ADHD other than popping a pill? Cathy and Todd discuss the significant number of children that are diagnosed with ADHD (6.4 million children) and why 2/3 of them are given a prescription. Todd recalls a recent experience where he witnessed a 40+ year old bully a 10 year old boy – he wishes he could have the moment back and do it differently. Todd and Cathy face-off on the best way to “teach” their 10 year old daughter the social norm of introducing her...

Cathy and Todd talk about sibling rivalry, how it’s good “life practice”, and the differences between what’s normal and when it’s a good idea to interfere. They also talk about family meetings and how to get everybody on the same page (before the kids tune you out). Todd talks about Lisa Reagan‘s article titled “Why and How Do We Shift” (in Pathways to Family Wellness Magazine) where she shares four different ways to open up to personal transformation.

You are not alone if you have shamed your kid this week. Why hide all of the truth? Let’s get it out in the open and talked freely about being shamed, because their is a good chance it happened to you. This week Cathy and Todd continue to talk about Brene Brown’s shame and vulnerability research. They discuss 6 ways to NOT respond when someone shares something deep or shameful, why some friends are easier to share with, and why sharing your shame with someone you trust is the first step toward ...

Are you worrying yourself sick? Is that even possible? Cathy (with the support of Brene Brown) helps Todd through his continuous struggle over money, worry, & fear. He’s frustrated with the amount of worry he’s carrying because it brings down his mood. He’s worrying about worrying and feeling bad about feeling bad. In order for us to be good parents, we must figure out a way to be a good example of how to allow emotion- both positive and negative – to pass through us without judgment. Some of ...

Has Todd hit his boiling point when it comes to how much screen time his daughters have? The iPad is taking over and he can’t control it! Can Cathy help Todd come to love the iPad for what it can be? Who else spent all their hard earned cash as kids playing video games when they were young? Times have changed. Now there is no reason to go to the Arcade, because you can save that cash playing on your iPad. Speaking of Todd’s childhood, he is not sure how to deal with his kids “accidentally” hitt...

While Todd didn’t see the stress of standardized tests in the latest episode of HBO’s “Girls”, it did stress him out because he is worried about his own children. Will his own three daughters stay healthy if this is the way things are when they’re in their 20’s. Maybe Todd shouldn’t watch so much HBO. As for the standardized testing issue, every state and most parents have to deal with it and the stress it creates. Todd and Cathy provide some tips on how to set your child’s mind at ease. And f...

We discuss two related topics: Know anyone who lives life through their children? Can you be too close to your children? Do you know parents that have a case of the “We’s” – Do you find parents who say things like “We are trying to make the soccer team” or “We decided to do ballet this summer.” This can sometimes be a sign that parents might be a little too close to their children. We also discuss a related term called “Empathetic Distress” based on an article that appeared in “Spirituality & ...

Cathy and Todd discuss “disengagement” and how it can erode the trust in a relationship – your partner may not be cheating or abusive, but if they emotionally disengage, it can be very painful. They also discuss how we disengage from our children and how it makes them feel unsafe. We often talk about Domestic Violence against women, but what about when a man is abused by a woman? How does this type of domestic violence effect our children and the foundation of their future relationships?

Have you ever heard of the term “childism”? Neither had Cathy or Todd, until they heard about a book by Elizabeth Young Bruehl called “Childism: Confronting Prejudice Against Children” They discuss the increasing trend of parents using social media to humiliate their children to demonstrate authority. Todd really struggles with parents who punish and exert unfair tactics against their children. In this episode, learn how to discipline kids without humiliation so that the discipline works and th...

Cathy and Todd talk REAL love vs SPIDER love (taken from Martha Beck’s book, Steering by Starlight) – do you love authentically or do you “make” people love you by controlling their behavior OR altering your behavior so you don’t “bother” them? REAL love is about sharing your true self and setting the ones you love free so they can be their true selves. They also discuss if it’s wise to talk to our kids like “little adults” – should we explain, or do we just set a limit (or do we do both)?