Episodes

Because this podcast is called How to Be an Adult, and we take our promises seriously, you will never see us release an episode titled “How to Never Disappoint Others” or “How to Avoid Criticism.” In this episode, Luke Chao talks about how to disappoint others in a principled manner: Disappointment results from an internal mental mismatch between a person’s expectations and reality; it does not exist in the external world. Living an authentic life and pursuing creative or entrepreneurial goals...

“Just be yourself!” We’ve all heard this platitude, but without specific instruction in what it means, the advice is rather useless. In this solo episode, Luke breaks down how to be yourself, and six enemies of your authentic self: Being authentic as an adult means embracing your individuality rather than compromising your values, thoughts, or feelings to meet external standards or please others. Individuals like Rosa Parks, Einstein, and Gandhi are viewed as iconic because they trusted their ...

If you’ve ever heard the clichéd phrase, “take care of yourself,” you might have been flummoxed about how, especially if your needs were unmet in early life. Yet, as Luke will argue in this episode, taking care of yourself is a defining feature of adulthood: at last, you have a capable guardian. We shall use Maslow’s hierarchy of needs as a framework: As adults, we serve as our own primary caregivers, responsible for meeting our own needs rather than relying on parents, partners, or employers. ...

Good sex is not an accident: it happens deliberately. In this dual-hosted episode of How to Be an Adult with Luke and Kate, we strip away the cultural noise to look at the reality of physical intimacy. We break down what it actually means to be present with another person and how to engage in the unapologetic, shameless exchange of mutual pleasure: We define good sex as a mutually pleasurable, safe, and relaxing activity that aligns physical, emotional and mental wellness, characterized by mutu...

In the second of this two-part episode about how to dress like an adult, pour homme, Luke shares what he has learned about outerwear, accessories and how to put together an outfit: For cold weather, invest in a quality wool overcoat such as a Chesterfield, polo coat, or balmacaan to wear over suits, and consider a trench coat or barbour coat for shoulder seasons. While often criticized, a high-quality fedora made of fur felt is considered appropriate headgear for suits, provided it is not pair...

If you’ve been following our social media, you might have noticed that Luke has been dressing better in recent months. In the first of this two-part episode about how to dress like an adult, pour homme, he shares what he has learned about how to dress like a white-collar office professional in 2026 and beyond: Luke discusses how to curate a professional, intentional, and classic male work wardrobe, emphasizing that clothing is a form of self-expression. We recommend prioritizing quality over q...

When current events are so constantly upsetting, how do we remain informed without descending into despondency? In this timely episode, Luke shares how he consumes the news while remaining hopeful: It’s possible to be well-informed without succumbing to stress or doomscrolling, which means you don’t have to choose between being informed or being comfortable. To avoid filter bubbles created by social media algorithms, use RSS readers to curate news from multiple credible sources across the poli...

At some point, we must all take our first jobs. In this solo episode, Luke speaks about how to get the most from yours, from the perspective of a small business owner: To excel in your first job, view it as a resume building project, focusing on the value you create which should exceed your salary. Understand that jobs are created when there’s enough work and revenue to hire someone. Your compensation is based on the value you bring, not just the hours worked. Avoid an entitled attitude; empl...

In this conversational episode, Kate and Luke discuss how to overcome procrastination, based on their personal experience, as well as professional work with hypnotherapy clients. Procrastination originates from the Latin word procrastinus, meaning ‘of tomorrow,’ highlighting the tendency to defer actions to a future time. Living with the knowledge of future consequences (e.g., dirty dishes, laundry) can motivate present action and set up a better tomorrow. Self-motivated and productive indivi...

If you’ve accomplished enough with your life, and you’re very self-critical at the same time, you will probably feel at some point that you’re an impostor or a fraud. This is a pretty good sign that you aren’t. In today’s episode, we’ll explore why, and what to do about that awful feeling: Imposter syndrome is common among intelligent, high-achieving individuals who feel like frauds despite their accomplishments. This feeling often arises because our self-concept, formed in childhood, may not ...

On November 5, 2025, the tranquility of our hypnosis office was broken by a clash between two student groups, Students Supporting Israel and Students for Justice in Palestine, from Toronto Metropolitan University. After a window was broken and the protesters were forced out, five arrests were made, and the police chief says that more charges are coming. If you’ve seen the videos posted on social media, you might have seen our founder Luke Chao surveying the damage and making efforts to deescala...

Chances are, there isn’t a revolution coming, and you’re going to be living in a capitalist society for the rest of your life. Now what? In this solo episode, Luke shares eight principles for adapting to (indeed, thriving in) the economic system that our listeners live in: Capitalism is a system where private property and corporations own the means of production, and winning at it means accumulating enough capital to generate income without working for wages. To win at capitalism, you need to ...

In this episode co-hosted by Luke Chao and Kate Voss, we discuss how we might maturely relate to time. It’s less about time management, and more a philosophy of how one might make the most out of your 16 waking hours in a day: Time management is crucial for adults to balance work, leisure, and personal growth, with each person having about 16 waking hours a day to allocate. Elon Musk’s time management strategies, such as scheduling in five-minute increments, highlight the importance of valuing...

Most of our anxiety comes not from what actually happens, but from what we imagine might happen in an uncertain future. In this solo episode with Luke Chao, he speaks about how to face the future with clarity: The things you’re stressed about today will likely be handled by your future self with the maturity and experience of that age. Life’s uncertainties are like driving on a winding road; you don’t need to imagine threats, just trust your senses and handle what comes. Anxiety often focuses...

Kate is the newest member of our team at The Morpheus Clinic for Hypnosis, and in this episode, she and Luke discuss some of the hallmarks of a successful relationship. We offer suggestions for listeners at every stage in their relationship journey: Successful relationships begin with a positive relationship with oneself, characterized by self-love and self-respect. The “four C’s” of relationships—clarity, confidence, communication, and connection—are crucial for navigating both entering and m...

The questions we ask ourselves determine which thoughts subsequently enter our minds. If we ask ourselves about counterfactual scenarios, our mind floods with counterfactual scenarios. If we ask ourselves about reassuring truths, we find reassuring truths, almost as though we were typing a query into a search engine. This episode is about how to ask yourself the second type of question. Good questions can lead to productive thoughts, while bad questions can evoke unnecessary anxiety and confusi...

This timely episode tackles an important topic that I’ve tried a few times to speak about. For the half of the population who are male, how are we supposed to “be a man”? In this episode 23, I make an attempt to answer this question using the same analytical lens through which I’ve dissected how we are all supposed to “be an adult.” The concept of masculinity is evolving, and traditional definitions centered around being a provider, protector, and procreator are becoming outdated as women can n...

We all know that we should forgive ourselves for our mistakes, but until somebody teaches you how, the path to redemption isn’t always obvious. In this episode, I’m going to break down what it means when you’re feeling guilty or ashamed, and what to do about it.: Remorse serves to reflect and improve oneself to avoid repeating past mistakes. Guilt arises from specific wrongful actions, while shame is a deeper feeling of being a bad person. When you recognize your position in your redemption a...

This episode is for all the recovering people-pleasers out there. If you feel like it’s hard to say “no” in an unfair situation, I’m going to give you a moral framework that lets you to speak your mind and simultaneously feel like the hero in the story of your life… at the same time! We start by recognizing the false morality instilled during childhood that suggests being agreeable equates to being a good person. We should prioritize authentic, truthful communication over merely saying “yes” t...

We’ve recently heard of a trend of young people avoiding the news entirely to preserve their mental health. In our view, this is unnecessarily self-defeating, because it’s possible to be informed and happy at the same time. In this episode, we share how: It is possible to stay informed about world events while also prioritizing mental health, debunking the notion that one must choose between the two. Each person can make a positive impact in their community and the world, and benefits from foc...

In one of our most focused episodes to date, Luke deconstructs the notion of perfection and suggests achiveable standards, such as authentic self-expression, that are still worth striving toward: Perfection is an unrealistic and unattainable standard that no one can truly achieve, even in simple tasks like drawing a perfect circle. Holding yourself to a standard of perfection is unnecessarily cruel and prevents you from being genuine, authentic, and relatable to others. Your worth as a human ...

In the eternal debate about whether the proverbial glass is half full or half empty, both arguments are often presented as equally valid. In this solo episode with Luke, he makes a case for why the glass being half full is the correct answer: A glass half full perspective encourages individuals to appreciate what they have rather than lamenting what they lack, fostering gratitude. Acknowledging and appreciating what one has can counteract negative thoughts, promoting mental well-being. Recogn...

This episode of How to Be an Adult, the second of two parts, features a very special guest: Marc Lewis, Ph.D., psychologist, academic and bestselling author of Memoirs of an Addicted Brain and The Biology of Desire. Marc joins Luke in our studio to discuss how popular models of addiction are flawed, and how we can better serve those who are suffering: Shame is a major obstacle in addiction recovery, as it can exacerbate the problem rather than help. There can be a positive intent or function b...

This episode of How to Be an Adult, the first of two parts, features a very special guest: Marc Lewis, Ph.D., psychologist, academic and bestselling author of Memoirs of an Addicted Brain and The Biology of Desire. Marc joins Luke in our studio to discuss how popular models of addiction are flawed, and how we can better serve those who are suffering: The medical model of addiction as a disease disempowers those it’s supposed to help, by taking away their sense of agency and responsibility. Add...