Episodes

Gemma Gaudette says “we don’t give boys enough credit.” Gemma, host of Idaho Matters & a mom of two sons (currently ages 11 & 15), knows (from personal experience!) that boys can be dramatic & sensitive, even though society has coded those traits as “feminine.” Yet many adults continue to insist on & impose so-called “masculine” expectations on boys, without recognizing the breadth of normal variation. Many adults also react to boys’ behavior based on their experiences with harmful adult males....

Advanced parenting may involve guiding a child through a mental health crisis. Or parenting a child with a chronic medical condition. Or both. It’s what parents must do when a child’s needs go beyond basic feeding, sheltering, loving, and nurturing. As a childhood cancer survivor and complex care pediatrician, Dr. Kelly Fradin knows that it’s difficult for parents to balance kids’ physical and mental challenges with the routine logistics of parenting and family life. Healthcare providers and me...

Midlife parenting often means navigating puberty and perimenopause at the same time. The average age of first parenthood has increased in recent years, so many moms now find themselves going thru perimenopause around the same time their kids hit puberty, according to a 2021 New York Times Parenting Newsletter article titled, When Your Home is a Hormonal Hellscape. And while thinking of your home as a “hormonal hellscape” may not be soothing, it’s refreshing to hear honest talk about midlife pare...

Middle school — and ages 11 to 14 — is “a time like no other!” It’s a time when significant biological, neurological and emotional changes are happening simultaneously. Middle school boys can be a confusing mix. They want to be treated like adults AND still do incredibly silly things. Jerome Hunter, co-founder of the Seattle School for Boys, recalls his middle school experience as a rollercoaster. In 6th grade, he was an enthusiastic learner who was interested in art, sports, math, & music. Bu...

Mother’s Day is a day to honor the sacrifices mothers make for their children. At least, that was the intent of Anna Jarvis, the founder of Mother’s Day in the United States This year, we’re also celebrating the many ways in which mothering has enhanced our lives. (“You can’t stay stagnant as a human being while you’re a parent,” Jen says.) Parenting is a lot more challenging than most of us expected. And yet, raising kids is an awesome, enriching experience. Mothering & Learning to Let Go Pa...

Division 51 of the American Psychological Association launched a Task Force on Boys in School in 2020. Finally! Boys do worse in school, on average, than girls. Boys are more likely to be disciplined, suspended, or expelled than girls — even when their behavior is similar. They’re also less likely to graduate or go onto college and graduate from college. These facts aren’t new. Boys have been struggling for decades. “We are very late to the game,” says Christopher Reigeluth, PhD, an assistant...

The New Masculinity: A Roadmap for a 21st Century Definition of Manhood, by Alex Manley, can help boys create their own unique definition of what it means to be a man. With a last name like Manley, it was impossible for Alex to ignore the societal pressures for boys and men to behave in certain ways. But Manley also noticed that “lots of men struggle with masculinity, with trying to live up to an ideal or standard that doesn’t match their lived experience,” they say. Boys and men, Manley says, ...

Fostering Connection: Building Social and Emotional Health in Children and Teens is the latest book by Dr. Tish Taylor, a child psychologist with more than 25 years of experience. Fostering connection is also key to boys’ social, emotional, and overall well-being. But how do we teach our boys to connect? How can we best connect with them? Through her work, Dr. Tish noticed certain patterns of behavior in kids, teens, and adults. She dubbed some of these patterns Connectors and others, Disconne...

Empowering boys and dyslexic learners could positively change so many lives. Jason Kantor, a New York-based homeschool tutor who frequently works with boys and dyslexic learners, believes it’s important to identify kids’ strengths and build them up, so they develop true confidence in themselves and their ability. Especially because so many boys and people with dyslexia attend schools that focus on their flaws and shortcomings, rather than their strengths. “A dyslexic who goes to the public scho...

Building Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males is Jen’s second book. Janet says it contains “wise words from a mom who has successfully raised four boys,” “wise words from an author who knows how to weave personal stories with scientific research,” and “wise words from the many experts she’s interviewed” — including many here ON BOYS! The book has been years in the making — years of parenting, learning, pitching, and writing. And it’s applicable to all kinds of families:...

You can build your village, says Florence Ann Romano. Most of us have heard that “it takes a village” to help children and adults thrive. We also want to know where $%@ the village went! Parenting today — often, far from extended family — can be an isolating experience. You don’t have to do it all alone, though. In her new book Build Your Village: Guide to Finding Joy and Community in Every Stage of Life, Romano, a childcare advocate and former nanny, shows parents how to create and nurture com...

Jonathon Reed has a lot of experience talking to tween & teen boys. As a program manager with NextGenMen, a Canadian organization dedicated to changing how the world sees, acts and thinks about masculinity, Reed frequently works with boys in grades 6-8. He says that while boys today are more comfortable wearing pink than they were a generation or so ago, they still face pressure to think and act in certain ways. “There’s a lot of ‘boys don’t cry,'” Reed says. “There’s still pressure to get girl...

When Michael Gurian published The Wonder of Boys in 1996, there "wasn't any national consciousness about boys' issues," he says. A quarter century later, there are dozens of books about boys, and parents, educators, and politicians alike are realizing that we must address boys' issues if we are to address the current epidemic of violence. Yet despite this progress, "we are still talking about ancillary concepts as to why these boys kill people rather than getting to the root causes of what's go...

Keeping boys safe is a top-of-mind concern for parents. For good reason. Injury is the leading cause of death for people ages 1-44 – especially for children.For kids ages 1-14 in the U.S., injuries cause more deaths than the next 10 leading causes of death combined. And guess what? At every age, males are more likely than females to die of injury – largely because they’re more likely to experience injury (& more likely to experience serious injury). Choosing Safety Doesn’t Mean Avoiding Risk...

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, you can call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for help in the United States. Call 988 or 800-273-TALK (8255). The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is open 24 hours a day, every day. Services are also available en espanol. Suicidal thoughts are common. In the U.S. alone, each year, more than 15 millions adults & teens struggle with serious thoughts of suicide. Knowing how to respond to suicidal thoughts is a crucial skill for all parents &...

Kids “haven’t changed at all” during the 20+ years Teacher Tom has been working with young children, he says. Parents have, though. And so has society. There’s an increased concern for safety and academic performance, and a lot of anxiety about kids’ futures. “I think there’s more fear, and more fear of their children falling behind,” Tom says. Adult stress and anxiety appears to be trickling down to even the youngest children, as today’s preschoolers are more anxious and stressed than previou...

Parental accommodation can limit the skill development of kids with (and without) ADHD. Many boys with ADHD or other executive function challenges struggle despite diagnosis, treatment, and well-intended help — in part because they and their family have received less-than-stellar advice and support. And because loving families often unwittingly accommodate (and reinforce) undesirable behavior. “Most families of children with ADHD are unintentionally misled when they receive a diagnosis,” says R...

Whole child sports emphasizes wholesome, safe, and developmentally appropriate athletic experiences for kids. It is the antithesis of the toxic, highly competitive youth sports culture that’s unfortunately become the norm here in the United States. Scott Lancaster, a sports performance coach who worked with the NFL; Luis Fernando Llosa, an investigative reporter who’s worked with Sports Illustrated; and Kim John Payne, founder of Simplicity Parenting, started Whole Child Sports in 2011 to offer...

Lads need dads, says Sonia Shaljean, director of the UK-based organization Lads Need Dads, one of the only projects in the country working to proactively address the impact of the absent father on boys aged 11-15. Many boys with absent or uninvolved fathers, of course, turn out perfectly okay. But many don’t. Sonia pivoted to this work after noticing, through a long career in criminal justice, domestic abuse, anger management, and homelessness, that males who didn’t grow up with involved father...

Teen boys mystify (and frustrate) their parents. Especially their moms. But there’s a lot going on behind and beneath that sometimes stony exterior. Teen boys are not devoid of emotions; in fact, they devote a lot of time and attention to managing and controlling their emotions. They may not show their emotions as freely as they did when they were younger, but, sadly, that’s often because they’ve learned their emotions aren’t welcome. According to Brendan Kwiatkowski, PhD, a researcher who stud...

Damon Brown is a journalist, author, entrepreneur, and primary caregiver for his two young sons, ages 6 and 9. But from his earliest days of parenting, people assumed he was simply “helping” his wife. “I’d put on the Baby Bjorn and walk to the grocery story and hear ‘Oh, is it Daddy day?’ or ‘Are you taking over for Mom while she’s resting?'” Damon says. “And there’s a whole ‘nother layer to to it being African-American.” (Including backhanded compliments about “sticking around” to raise his ch...

How do you support sibling relationships and build brother-sister bonds? Or connect with a tween son? Photo by Beatnik Photos via Flickr Those are just a few of the questions Jen & Janet tackle in 2023’s first listener Q & A. Matthew says: We have 3 boys (15, 17, & 19) and 3 girls (2, 9, & 13)…our boys are incredibly close, practically best friends, and our girls are similar. What can we do to bring the groups closer together? We have tried divide and conquer (mixing who runs errands with us ...

Simplicity parenting, in many ways, is the antithesis of modern parenting. Simplicity parenting prioritizes a balanced schedule, predictable rhythm, and decluttered, information-filtered family environment, while most modern families rush from one activity to the next and live with crammed-full schedules in an information-soaked environment. Kim John Payne, author of Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids, was an undergrad psy...

“Spicy” boys are those who express themselves in big and loud ways, feel things intensely, and have energy to spare, says Mary Van Geffen, a popular Instagrammer and parent coach for Spicy Ones. Spicy kids “have so much loyalty toward their own soul — and less to the adults’ agenda,” Mary says. They often are very persistent and quite emotionally intelligent. (Though often more attuned to their own emotions than others’.) It “can take a lot of energy to be with this child,” Mary notes. Spicy b...