Episodes

Our February 10 conversation with Dr. Mona Delahooke about her new book, Brain-Body Parenting:How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids, is ON BOYS’ Most Popular Episode of 2022. And no wonder: The Center for Childhood Development calls the book a “game-changer,” and Berkely’s Greater Good Magazine lists it #2 on its Favorite Parenting Books of 2022 list. Jen & Janet’s copies are both dog-eared & marked up because it’s packed with information and easy-to-implement s...

Which ON BOYS episodes were the Best of 2022? Some of our favorites! 5. Raising LGBTQ Allies Chris Tompkins, author of Raising LGBTQ Allies: A Parent’s Guide to Changing the Messages from the Playground, recognized the power of unspoken messages when his then 6-year-old nephew asked him — an openly gay man — if the female friend with him was his girlfriend. In that moment, Chris realized that his nephew didn’t know he was gay. In conversations with adult family members the next day, Chris learn...

Linda Flanagan says youth sports are out of control. And she should know. Flanagan is a former youth athlete, cross country coach, mother of a young athletes, and the author of Take Back the Game: How Money and Mania are Ruining Kids' Sports - and Why It Matters. “If your goal is to cultivate a well-adjusted, responsible child who contributes to the family, then limiting T-ball, youth soccer & it’s ilk may be wisest," she says in her book. "Western parenting customs that put the child at the c...

Want to know how to motivate boys? Toss out your outdated beliefs about boys and men, says Maggie Dent, Australia's "boy champion" and author of From Boys to Men: Guiding Our Teen Boys to Grow Into Healthy, Happy Men. "Our boys aren't these tough, unfeeling humans," she says. "They've got incredibly tender hearts, and with appropriate guidance they can grow to shine." Boys Don't Want to Fail Boys don't want to disappoint their parents. Or themselves. They don't want failing grades, lost homewo...

Andrew Reiner says it’s essential to spend time nurturing boys’ mental health & resiliency. As a college professor, Reiner sees what happens when boys aren’t taught resiliency and don’t develop the skills they need to support mental wellness. “I started noticing a chasm between the effort that my male students was putting forward and the effort my female students were putting forward,” says Reiner, a professor in the English department at Towson University. The boys in his class were just as int...

Fostering gratitude in our boys can help them navigate the inevitable ups and downs of life. And despite what you may think, it is possible to foster an attitude of gratitude in apparently self-centered boys. Science has shown a strong link between kids’ developmental stages and gratitude. As children grow, they gradually learn that they are not the center of the universe, and they gradually — very gradually — learn that they must consider others’ feelings, desires, and needs as well. So, older...

Parenting teenage boys is a challenge. And an opportunity. In some ways, says child and adolescent psychologist Lee Bare, parenting a teenage boy is like parenting a newborn. “You have to be prepared for anything and you never know what kind of mood they’re going to wake up in,” says Lee, who is also the mother of three teenage sons. The angst and worry that parents experience during the boys’ teenage years also recalls the frantic worries and sleepless nights of the newborn stage. Just as in p...

Dads matter. Men matter. To become their best, boys need involved dads and male teachers, coaches, & mentors. But when Marion Hill began working in early childhood education in Phoenix, he “noticed there weren’t a lot of fathers around,” he says. Recognizing dads’ importance to kids’ social, emotional, and cognitive development, Marion devoted his effort to engaging dads. He co-founded of M.A.N. C.A.V.E (Men All Need to be Caring Actively-Engaged, and Encouraged), a fatherhood program designe...

Reading and literacy are important life skills and key to a boy's school success.

What does Janet's 8-month-old grandson have in common with a bunch of guys throwing darts at each other in a dark basement? A fascination with objects moving through space -- a nearly universal male tendency that Janet is witnessing in real-time as her grandson delights in pushing, pulling, and moving objects that are bigger than he is. You can learn so much about boys by simply observing them. It's not always easy to take (or make) time to do so -- especially when you're in the thick of paren...

Why do boys....do what they do? Bringing up boys brings up all kinds of questions! Jen & Janet have answers. Photo by Pixabay Tamara asks: Why do boys communicate through physical touch/aggression and use sarcasm for communication rather than regular conversation? Katrina worries that her son may be alienating himself from his friends -- and missing out on social opportunities -- because he's so dedicated to his sport. She says: I'm afraid he's distancing himself from his friends and will ...

We want to build boys -- AND a just world. - It's easy to be overwhelmed by seemingly insurmountable challenges, and tempting to not take action on big societal issues like inequity because, well, what can we do anyway?

Holding the calm is an essential skill for resolving conflict and diffusing tension.

Parenting inevitably includes health challenges. - Kids get sick. Parents get sick. And injuries and accidents happen more often than we'd like. Learning how to manage a medical diagnosis -- and navigate the health system -- is a crucial parenting ski...

Doing more for boys and men does not require an abandonment of the ideal of gender equality. In fact, it is a natural extension of that. -- Richard V. Reeves Those words are from a new book Of Boys and Men: Why the Modern Male is Struggling, Why it Matters, and What to Do About It, by Richard V. Reeves, a fellow at the Brookings Institute, a public policy think tank based in D.C., and a father of three grown sons. Boys and men (as a group) now fare worse than girls and women (as a group) in sc...

Independence is good for kids. - Helicopter parenting is bad for kids. - But figuring out when to step in or step back...well, that's a challenge! - When another boy punched her 11 year old son in the face during hockey practice,

Middle school boys may seem messy and mysterious, but they're also entertaining, challenging, and inspiring, says Braden Bell. The middle school years are "a wonderful, magical moment," says Bell, an experienced educator, father, and grandfather. "It's important to keep in mind that we are not raising 6th graders, we are not raising 7th graders -- we are raising future adults who currently happen to be in 6th or 7th grade." Keeping that long view in perspective is helpful because if we stop th...

When Michael Gurian published The Wonder of Boys in 1996, there "wasn't any national consciousness about boys' issues," he says. A quarter century later, there are dozens of books about boys, and parents, educators, and politicians alike are realizing that we must address boys' issues if we are to address the current epidemic of violence. Yet despite this progress, "we are still talking about ancillary concepts as to why these boys kill people rather than getting to the root causes of what's go...

Empowering boys to challenge rape culture is one way we can decrease sexual violence, says Gordon Braxton, an anti-violence educator and activist who formerly served as the Director of Men’s Outreach on Sexual Violence Prevention at Harvard University. Currently, most of us "spend little to no time empowering boys to raise their voices against sexual violence,” says Braxton, author of Empowering Black Boys to Challenge Rape Culture. “That leaves them in the hands of a world that minimizes it & ...

Deborah Farmer Kris is a child development expert, author, and former educator -- and she still finds raising kids a challenge! "None of us are slot machines," she says. "It's not like you put in this language and out pops a child who says 'yes, mother.'" Parenting, Kris says, is humbling, partly because "there's not one method that works for every child." Every child is different. So is every parent. And yet, helping our children develop their emotional literacy skills is one thing we can do...

Positive parenting is more pleasant - and more effective than control-oriented parenting styles, says Amy McCready. Amy is a recovering yeller, mom of two grown sons, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, and the author of The Me, Me, Me Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World and If I Have to Tell You One More Time...:The Revolutionary Program that Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding, or Yelling. "Nobody wants to yell at th...

Sexual abuse affects boys and men too. - 1 in 6 boys will be a victim of sexual abuse before the age of 18. But, in part due to lingering shame and stigmas, many victims don’t disclose the abuse until years later (if at all). They suffer in silence.

You might not even realize you have a boy with executive function challenges. - Instead, you (or others) might think he's "disorganized," "lazy," "resistant," or "unmotivated." - Seth Perler was one of those boys. Now,

Stress and trauma can make it difficult for boys to thrive. - Counseling, chiropractic care, socio-emotional learning, and other child-focused interventions may help, but only to a certain degree. For real, lasting, sustainable change to occur,