Episodes

Stress and anxiety have a way of driving us forward while blinding us to reality. Katie Hubbard was experiencing massive anxiety as she faced radiation, but she was beginning to analyze the deeper cause of her stress. In her own words: "I think I have come to the crux of my anxiety: 'Thy will be done.' I want MY will in all of this: no more cancer, me here. And I can't make that happen or make you make that happen."

After Katie Hubbard's diagnosis with recurrent breast cancer, she struggled to take every stressful thought captive. The idea behind this comes from 2 Corinthians 10:5, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." In its original context, the verse had to do with combatting false teaching from others. In Katie's situation—and often enough in our own—we deal with internalized false t...

For me (Norman Hubbard), it's an emotional start to a new season of the podcast. Today is the 7th anniversary of Katie's passing, and it falls very close to the time of year when she was diagnosed with recurrent breast cancer ten years ago. Opening up her journals and this chapter of our life together is still very painful for me. (I decided not to edit my tears out of the recorded audio.) More important than my tears, however, are her words as she reflects on God's Word. There is no distant sho...

Katie closed her journal entries for 2009 by reflecting on a December that was a fitting end to a hard year! Everyone in our family got sick with strep the week before Christmas. We were so sick we could not even celebrate Katie's birthday (which happened to be our anniversary). However, everyone was back on their feet for our pilgrimage to Wisconsin to be with family for the holiday. Katie rejoiced at the splendid winter weather ... and the chance to go shopping with her mom. If you asked her a...

In September and October of 2009, things were looking up for Katie after months of feeling bad from cancer treatment. Consistent with her custom of talking with God about everything, Katie looked up because things were looking up. She offers a tremendous prayer where she reflects on God's abundance and asks him to draw her out of a mindset of poverty and want. "My resources are lacking," she writes, "but you're are infinite through eternity." Her journal is a great reminder to look up when thing...

As Katie Hubbard geared up for a new school year, she found herself confronted with so many negative thoughts about the challenges of life with cancer, kids, and limited resources. As she listed her troubles in her journal, she prayed for the courage to trust God in the face of trials and uncertainty. "You have given us promises for times of storm and trial," she wrote, "not blue sky and ease."

Katie Hubbard was recovering strength after several rounds of chemotherapy for breast cancer. Though her progress wasn't without setbacks, she was looking ahead and looking back on the lessons she had learned: how trials produce character; how God has to be trusted to hold all things together; and how God is big enough to do so. She wasn't just recovering strength after cancer treatment, she was developing trust, hope and gratitude.

Katie Hubbard never quit meditating on what it meant to walk with God in faith. The pressure of a cancer diagnosis, the challenges of chemotherapy, and the worry about her future just made the question more insistent in her mind: What does it mean for a person to walk with God in faith?

As Katie Hubbard regained her strength after chemotherapy, she faced all the fears the future might hold for her. More importantly, she turned to the Lord and his word to figure out how to live forward. She was resolved to hear God and trust him, no matter what, taking her cue from the greatest story of deliverance in the Old Testament.

After months away from her personal journal during chemotherapy, Katie Hubbard reopened a dialogue with the Lord about his power and our weakness. She wrestled with her own anxiety about money and wondered whether she truly trusted the Lord. In characteristic Katie Hubbard fashion, she considers how effortlessly God sends abundant rain and concludes, “You work out of abundance, no limits, vast power, perfect holiness, complete wisdom.”

Katie Hubbard excelled at passing on perspective, even when chemotherapy was making her miserable. As she chronicles her final round of chemo, with all its lows and woes, she helps us enter into the valley. That’s one of the gifts she gave as she blogged through this journey. She helped fellow-travelers with cancer and friends who will never face cancer understand what it’s like to laid low … and to look up.

This is quite simply one of the best podcasts you will listen to as Katie Hubbard wrestles through the darkness of cancer into the light of God. This entry from her blog is nearly miraculous, because she was at a physical low point from chemo and fighting through dense mental fog. Even words were hard to come by during this time … until she sat down to proclaim the good things God had done for her. If ever there were a podcast that capture the radiance in her soul in the darkest hours, this is i...

In this week’s podcast, Katie Hubbard reflects on the difficulties of raising a toddler while undergoing chemo. She also humorously recounts how perilous it can be to pack a diaper bag with chemo brain. With her third chemo treatment behind her, she takes some solace in the fact that she only has to do this “one more time.” Those were hard words to read so many years on.

As Katie Hubbard lived through her second round of chemo, she found grace from God through the Scriptures that encouraged her not to fear. This was particularly important for her as her hair fell out and she decided to shave it off. Katie’s words during this time teach us how search out the balance between staying grateful and staying honest about your pain.

In her blog post, Katie Hubbard shares a cherished family memory that involves Rachel’s baptism and a pair of very small pants. You’ll want to listen in! She also reflects on her struggle with being so sidelined and energy-less as a mom. One friend’s child even prayed, “Lord, help Mrs. Hubbard know how to do nothing!”

Katie Hubbard was adjusting to life with a toddler (along with 3 older kids) while undergoing her first round of chemo for breast cancer. Things got pretty interesting right away as some of the kids got sick at home, while the fog of ‘chemo brain’ settled on Katie. Throw in insomnia and loss of appetite, and it’s a wonder she could write with the wit she did about her experiences. At the same time, she meditated on the grace that had carried her through these difficult days, knowing that same gr...

When Katie Hubbard started chemotherapy for breast cancer, she stopped writing in her journal but started writing more frequently on her Caring Bridge blog. The world is probably a better place for it, because more people got a window into the practical and emotional challenges of going through cancer treatment for the first time. In this episode, you'll find Katie doing what she can to find the good and express it with humor as she begins chemotherapy for breast cancer.

In mid-April 2009, Katie Hubbard picked up her pen and journal after a few weeks away (recovering from surgery). The three entries from this time all focus on God’s purposes in times of testing and his power in our weakness. Katie also reflects on the fact that Jesus, who never did any wrong, learned obedience through suffering. If “the captain of our faith” suffered, how should we expect to pass through life without suffering, too?

For the first time since receiving her initial cancer diagnosis, Katie Hubbard finally received good news: there was no evidence that her cancer had spread. Though she couldn’t write in her journal (because she had drainage tubes under her arm from the mastectomy), she did post a couple of updates on Caring Bridge about the relief that good new brought. Of course, learning that the worst hadn’t happened gave her the mental space to process the hard things that had happened. In her own words, she...

When Katie Hubbard went in for a mastectomy and initial pathology on her breast cancer, she was prepared for good news and bad news. She did not know there was a third option: even worse news. When Katie woke up from anesthesia, she discovered the doctor had to remove all her lymph nodes, putting her at long-term risk of developing lymphedema. It also meant waiting for a pathology report to stage the cancer and move on with treatment. In this bleak hour, Katie relied on Romans 8:28 about how God...

In this episode, Katie wrestles with practical and emotional demands of an upcoming mastectomy and lymph node biopsy. She knew the procedure would leave her humbled and scarred. None of us knew what it would say about the stage of her cancer. Both the known and the unknown were heavy loads to carry.

In her journal entries for mid-March 2009, Katie Hubbard describes the apprehension she felt after and MRI biopsy to determine whether her breast cancer had spread. “What will today bring?" she asks the Lord. “Good news? Bad news? No news?” This is the tension every person (and family) lives with after an initial cancer diagnosis. In Katie’s case, she received bad news that she would have to have a mastectomy. This led her to a lot of soul-searching and she cried out to God for help. One of the ...

Katie Hubbard gives a rare glimpse into her heart and mind as she prepares for a follow up MRI and biopsy after her initial cancer diagnosis. You will be inspired (and sobered) by her raw pleas for help, and you'll smile at comments like, "I survived my MRI! Thankfully, Lord, I had you and two Valium." Mostly, she wanted the procedures to be painless and the news to be good, but she recognized that her Savior, Jesus, had "suffered without anesthesia". She was learning what her own share of suffe...

As Katie Hubbard lived through the early days of a cancer diagnosis, she faced the fatigue and fear you'd expect. She also took the time to write short entries of prayer to the Lord. Many of us feel like we ought to say something substantial to God when we pray. That's not a bad idea if you can manage it. If you have a one-year-old who won't sleep, an unexpected cancer diagnosis, and worries about how you're going to make it financially, it may be better not to force things, though. In the early...