Episodes

The presence of cancer and the threat of paralysis cannot overwhelm a soul that trusts in God. This week’s podcast features Katie at her best in the worst of times. She opens her heart in a journal entry, email, and Caring Bridge post with striking vulnerability, spirituality, and wit. She was passing through a deep place of uncertainty, faced with the reality that cancer was now destroying her spine and threatening her with paralysis. In the face of it all, she says, “I have no control over th...

How do you keep living forward day after day with a Stage IV cancer diagnosis? If you're Katie, you just open your Bible up and read the next passage. Then, you open your journal up and write out the verse(s) that meant the most to you, underlining the words that matter most. That's what you find in her journal entry from Feb 6, 2015. It's obvious that she wanted to see the salvation of the Lord, just as Israel had. Of course, she was working out that longing while saying "Everyday is such an e...

Katie was living with Stage IV cancer and didn't often wake up feeling happy or hopeful. Her journal entry from January 31 was uncharacteristically upbeat for this season of life. She sets a good example for all of us going through hard times. It's OK to feel happy and even better to express it to God! In this entry, Katie's lighter side really comes through as she recounts a visit we made to Elkhart, IN, "kind of a dumpy town". (Sorry to all of you who love Elkhart.) As we were shopping for su...

"I would rather be disappointed ...""... tomorrow we will trust you again."Journal entries for January 24 and 28, 2015 In her entries for January 24 and 28, 2015, Katie reflected on lessons she was learning from fellow-travelers as she walked her own road with cancer. In particular, she was processing the tension she felt over parenting (when you never feel good) and trusting in God for a miracle (when you never feel good). In times of intense suffering, it's easy to let circumstances cloud yo...

In these two entries from early 2015 (dated January 12 and 14), Katie laments how judgmental she feels as a parent. She has been hard on our son's faults while ignoring her own. She considers the example of the father in the parable of the prodigal son and expresses how much she wants to be generous, rather than judgmental. She also journals about an encouraging word on parenting from a friend. You just show up with what you have—your five loaves and two fish—and trust God for the rest. "In eve...

Katie did not shy away from the fatigue and fear that were her constant companions during her years of living with cancer. She was open to the Lord about her fears, her longings, and her concerns. She felt keenly her inadequacies as a mom living with cancer."I don't know how to handle any of this—and how do you handle it when you don't ever feel well?" I would suggest that one of the ways she handled it was by speaking continually with the Lord about her heart. You'll see in the journal entry a...

Katie managed the pressure she felt to write by writing ... in her journal. Anytime you write something for others to read, there’s a bit of felt pressure that sneaks in with it. Katie’s journals, of course, were her private prayers and meditations. She also kept up a blog for many years on Caring Bridge. Many of you probably kept up with her life story there. In fact, I encourage you to visit her Caring Bridge page to read her writings for yourself. What you’ll discover is that Katie was an a...

This was one of Katie's final journal entries, written about two weeks before she passed away. When Katie wrote the journal entry featured in today's podcast, she was dying from cancer but growing in faith. You can actually see the toll cancer was taking by observing her unsteady handwriting. With about two weeks to live, however, she was steadying her heart by expressing her trust in her Savior and Lord, Jesus. Katie used to say—and believe with all her heart—that There Are Good Things Here. ...