Episodes

119
Dec. 14, 2018

Episode 119: Sober Sunday

The sun is high in the sky and the boys are high dry. It’s Sober Sunday in the Zero Credit(s) Studio (apartment), the holiest of holy days where no one gets drunk, no ways. In this blistering light, there’s only one thing to talk about. DC’s hit television show [citation needed] Legends of Tomorrow featuring all your favorite possibly fake plot lines that end up being real. People sat in a room around a table and discussed these plot lines and decided, yes, these are the ones we are going to put...
118
Dec. 7, 2018

Episode 118: Monopoly: Entertainment Conglomerate Edition

Everything is you love is converging into one giant shapeless mass. Hooray! This week the Boys are in top form as they tackle the hard-hitting subject matter of checks notes alcohols they’ve heard of but seldom drank. After that delightful and well-planned adventure, they checks notes jump right into the murky and interminable waters of intertextuality and anti-trust laws when they discuss the all-but-certain checks notes Disney-Fox merger. The real meat of the episode, however, is when the chec...
117
Nov. 30, 2018

Episode 117: Thaaanks

The autumn leaves have fallen and it’s cold everywhere you look–WEATHER UPDATE: Today’s Forecast in Austin, TX, is gonna be HOT HOT HOT. 70° High with no chance for cold anywhere throughout the day. We return you to your normally scheduled podcast description–the snow is falling and the boys are feeling ever so thankful for the things that have changed in their lives in the past year. It’s time to come together and give a hearty and full-bellied “thaanks.” And then it gets all anti-capitalism a...
116
Nov. 16, 2018

Episode 116: Medieval Death Bot Meets World

With nothing left to lose in the world in the wake of the midterm elections, John and Henry travel back in time to meet their maker. Several hundred times. Cause when you’re an immortal time traveling duo of know-nothings, there’s nothing like the soothing feeling of being stabbed and overpowered by three other men in the dusty, disgusting alleys of middle age England. Or wherever the Dark Ages happened. Price of knife, 1 shilling. Henry then drinks way too much Andy Gator and tries to ruin ever...
115
Nov. 9, 2018

Episode 115: Drunk Midterms Live-ish

Spoiler alert, we get political. It’s election night in America and Henry and John are champing at the bit to spit their particular political opinions all over your ears. Yeah, it’s gross. This is politics. It tends to get gross. Nothing is held back. Political parties are dropped into pits. Politicians are dragged across the coals. Candidates are lifted up the mountain to be dropped off the other side. Voting is the real battlefield and the war zone is littered with the corpses of democracy. A...
114
Nov. 2, 2018

Episode 114: Frightentimes 2: Finale: Ted the Caver

Have you ever wanted to willingly put yourself in a space so small that all you can do is wiggle your shoulders to move forward? Have you ever wanted to be in a situation where squeezing through a small space is the only way to explore where you’re going, knowing that to get back you’ll have to squeeze through that same small passage? Feel like risking your life for the sake of seeing something not many get to see personally because if something goes wrong you may die over the course of days, al...
113
Oct. 26, 2018

Episode 113: Frightentimes 2 Part 4: BURN WATER NOTICE

This week on Zero Credit(s)–THIS IS AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE CENTRAL AUTHORITY. PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT FOR THE DURATION OF THE EVENT, ALL RESIDENTS ARE TO BURN THEIR WATER BEFORE DRINKING, COOKING, EXISTING, OR RUBBING IT ALL OVER THEIR SKIN. AS SOON AS THE WATER LEAVES THE FAUCET, IT NEEDS TO BE BURNED IMMEDIATELY OR ELSE. REPEAT. ALL RESIDENTS ARE TO BURN THEIR WATER. THERE WILL BE NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS ADVISEMENT. STAY TUNED FOR UPDATES TO THE CURRENT SITUATION, BUT BE ADVISED THAT OFFICIALS ...
112
Oct. 19, 2018

Episode 112: Frightentimes 2: Part 3: Mass Rituals

WE’RE HALFWAY THROUGH THESE DREADFUL TIMES BUT HOW WILL YOU PAY FOR ALL YOUR CRIMES? CAN YOU FOLLOW THE PHANTOM THREAD? STARRING DANIEL DAY LEWIS AND VICKY KRIEPS? IT’S TOO SLOW FOR ME, BUT THAT’S JUST MY PERSONAL TASTE NOT ENOUGH ACTION, TOO MUCH DRAMA IN YOUR FACE. ANYWAY, IT’S TIME AGAIN FOR FRIGHT AND FEAR. BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU HEAR. IT’S REAL. Music: Shadowlands 2 – Bridge, Welcome to HorrorLand Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attributi...
111
Oct. 12, 2018

Episode 111: Frightentimes 2: Part 2: Brought to You by the Dark Entry Forest Association

Week 2 of the Frightentimes is here / The end of all things is near / What awaits us at the end / of life and death / of foe and friend / Urban legends get just a bit creepier this week as we dive into Dudley Town, the Georgia Guidestones, and The Death Comet.
110
Oct. 5, 2018

Episode 110: Frightentimes 2: Part I: A Perfectly Normal Episode

Darkness. Deeper and deeper. In the dream you can never close your eyes, you always have to see it. Everything you’ve done thus far has lead to this, regrettably. You knew it was out there, you had the opportunity to do something, but you always shut your eyes to the only truth. The long-fingered hands followed your shadows and nerves from every room, backwards up the stairs. You knew that all you had to do was look, but you didn’t want to admit you were choosing the illusion. All of your friend...
109
Sept. 28, 2018

Episode 109: Bonebone & Peachode

We’re back to normal, folks, in this the first of many perfectly normal episodes, I, the description writer Clara, do declare. The boys have a lot of catching up to do, Zeitgeist-wise, but not a lot of time due to budgeting errors and overlong coverage of America’s favorite movie series of the past 8 weeks. So it’s a shorter episode and we hope you forgive us. Video games are a-buzzing as the internet adapts one of their time-honored traditions of turning everything into sexier versions of itsel...
Sept. 21, 2018

Supplemental Reading: Fate of the Furious

In 2017, a series had a vision. To bring an end to everything it had been building for the past 16 years. That series was the Fast and Furious Cinematic Universe and this is that end. With a new director in F. Gary Gray and the same ole Chris Morgan blood pumping through its veins, this movie sought to be what no other FFCU movie could be. Somewhat decent. We’ve seen the highs, the lows, and the lower lows, but for the first time we experience the upper middle. Characters emote more than they ev...
Sept. 14, 2018

Supplemental Reading: Furious 7

In 2015, Justin Lin had a dream, to direct other movies. So another man stepped up to fill the void he left. That man was James Wan. Famed director of the Saw series and The Conjuring. A veteran of horror movies joined the FFCU to create a monster of a movie with a plot so convoluted, you might as well saw off your foot to get free from it. All your favorite names appear in the opening credits, just to get cameo treatments as this movie has little to do with them. Oh and don’t even get me starte...
Sept. 7, 2018

Supplemental Reading: Furious 6/Fast 6/ Fast and Furious 6

In 2013, a man had a dream vision while being struck by the lightning bolt of inspiration: To make a movie with three titles and to use them interchangeably in various forms of marketing and representation of the film. That man was Justin Lin and this film is his last (in this franchise). And if the confusing title is any indication, the plot is just as confusing. What’s not confusing, is how much family means to Dom Toretto. And it means everything. If Dom would have to work for the government ...
Sept. 1, 2018

Supplemental Reading: Fast Five

In 2011, a man had a dream. A dream to create the best action/car/heist movie of all time set in Brazil, using an already established franchise and characters people already knew. Unfortunately, Hannah Barbara would not give up the rights to Speed Buggy, so Justin Lin had to fall back to The Fast and Furious Franchise instead. For fun, he brought along Chris Morgan, writer of the previous film, for a lark and knocked the entire movie out of the park. It’s all here. Everyone you’ve ever loved. Al...
Aug. 24, 2018

Supplemental Reading: Fast and Furious

It’s 2009. Every movie around us is dark, gritty, serious with heroes facing real problems and true conflict. Justin Lin is back to rework a movie franchise that didn’t know where it was going. His vision? Drop. The. “The”s. That’s right. The FFCU is back and it’s more streamlined than ever. Forget Sean Boswell, we’re going back to AMERICA this time around cause a whole lot of characters we haven’t seen in near a decade are coming back with a vengeance. Remember Brian O’Conner? How could you? Bu...
Aug. 17, 2018

Supplemental Reading: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift

In the gone-by year of 2006, famed director Justin Lin was a virtually unknown, untested director with nothing but a name and a dream. A dream to unite the passion of American and German film while exploring the third, unrelated culture of Japan through the eyes of a piece of wood masquerading as a person. Justin Lin set out to see this dream become a reality and to answer a question. What happens when the stakes are raised so high, you have to leave the country? To answer this question, he made...
Aug. 10, 2018

Supplemental Reading: 2 Fast 2 Furious

The action continues this week on Zero Credit(s) as the Boys dive cylinder-head-first into John Singleton’s entry in the FFCU. This episode, much like the sequel they’re discussing, is both tighter and more action-oriented than its predecessor. Could this movie possibly live up to the promises made by The Turbo Charged Prelude for 2 Fast 2 Furious? What does it truly mean to be a cop? How many times can Ludacris’ hair change shape? Find the answers to these questions AND MANY MORE this week on Z...
Aug. 3, 2018

Supplemental Reading: The Fast and the Furious

In 2001, famed director Robert Cohen had a plan. A man, a plan, a ten second car: The Fast and the Furious. And while the title may sound like a dramatic soap opera that your mom or dad might watch in the late afternoon, there’s nothing soap about this thrilling, high octane seed of one of America’s most successful franchises of all time. It’s dramatic, but it’s all on the pavement, cause that’s where the races happen. John and Henry might be a little too detail oriented for this first installm...
108
July 27, 2018

Episode 108: A Ten-Pack of Pink Ping Pong Balls

So this guy is walking into a bar. He’s been having kind of a rough week and thinks he deserves a drink. He’s not like an alcoholic or anything. Not that there’s anything wrong with being an alcoholic, it’s a disease after all. Anyway, this guy notices in the window of the bar a very short man playing the piano. Not like a normally short person, but like this guy barely comes up to your knee, figuratively and actually. You wouldn’t want to actually compare his height to your shin on account you,...
107
July 20, 2018

Episode 107: Men Prefer Debt-Free Apes Without Tattoos Who Blew It Up, Goddamn You All to Hell

It’s African dust season here in Texas, and it has laid low 50% of the podcast, but you know that won’t break their stride. In the final install of their much-beloved and mucho-belated World Kup Korner, Henry and John reveal the ultimate winner and infinite loser of the Game of Foot Champions. John then poses one of the greatest philosophical hypothetics of our time: “why won’t a Japanese person finish a cigarette?” And the answer, it may surprise you, is ASTONISHINGLY BANAL. Henry then destroys...
106
July 13, 2018

Episode 106: The John Denver Cross Media Platform But Still Largely Cinematic Universe

Henry’s back from the mountain with some very secretive cosmic secrets to share that just might reveal a conspiracy that goes all the way to the top (of Colorado). How many times have you noticed John Denver’s Country Roads (Take Me Home) in media? Maybe a little. . .too much? Hmmm. John then steers us unto a much more serious matter about things we encounter every single ding dong day of our gosh darn lives, man. And that’s streaming services. Sounds like there’s a new one in town curtailed by ...
105
June 29, 2018

Episode 105: The King of Goals II: Gooooooooooooooal to the Polls

The World Cup of Soccer Games for Futbol Enthusiasts is continuing to kick off strong as we enter the end of the group stages and move on the the Group of 16. John is seriously upset about his poor choices of backing Peru and so he continues to make bad choices and backs Iceland. Both of which are eliminated on the same day. He then decides to go “all in” and back Germany, his favorite team. Let’s hope John’s pick carries him through the entire tournament to the covetous gold medal trophy. (Post...
104
June 22, 2018

Episode 104: Zero Burgers aka “Let’s Get Our Gambling Freak On”

It’s an unusually sports-centric episode of the show, as the boys are whisked into Footie Heaven by a terminal case of the World Cup Flu. Even their discussion of the sacred sweetness (anime) is tainted by the presence of competive gambling, which I believe some would consider a sport. And I think this is the first time they say “orgasm” on the show, so you know. Go nuts. After that, the foot-gloves come off as the boys sink their teeth right into the turf, diving into Henry’s family’s perverse ...