Episodes

Welcome to normal day podcast. We talk about all of your favorite segments. The olympics get spooky terrors. We then briefly reveal where henry talks about horror games featuring music by the semi honored classic simulation fire. This change in atmosphere fuels our discussion of the best content known to exist offline, listeners, and that is happiness within oneself. John talks about centralized programming and it will frighten you as it seems to be awful or something new or terribly old. Sound ...

It’s that time again, listeners. Henry and John are firing up the Best/Worst machine by generating this year’s categories. Before that, though, H-Man & J-Ohn still haven’t quite shaken this most recent bout of Austin Bit Sickness, but they attempt to press on regardless. What’s the underlying narrative formula of Dragon Ball Z? The Boys sure as heck try to find out during an impromptu segment that last DOZENS OF MINUTES! All this nonsense surrounds what should probably be a pretty austere and re...

This is a formal warning that this episodes contains spoilers for the hit Netflix series Stranger Things, specifically in relation to the second season of the aforementioned show in its entirety. It is recommended that if you, Party B, have not watched the entirety of the second season of the aforementioned show, hereby referred to as Strangy Tings, then you, Party B, should not download or listen to this episode of Zero Credit(s) Supplemental Reading: Stranger Things 2. With that covered, the d...

You’ve been waiting for it, listeners. And it’s here. It’s finally, finally here. Henry and John are in the same geographic location and it is GETTING HOG CRAZY IN HERE. A manic spirit has inhabited the body of John, and that spirit (you guessed it) is the Spirit of Adventure. Now, free from the bindings of anonymity, Henry and John openly discuss their city of residence. Does that mean you can mail them pictures you took of their house? Yeah! It’s an Austin-centric episode, where the boys discu...

It’s Coolsgiving again, Dear Listeners, and that means it’s time to settle once and for all who it is we pledge our Cool Thanks to on this gracious occasion. Henry and John Dive into the debate of a Thankful-themed holiday lifetime to hash out who is deserving of our Cool Thanks. With so much horribleness in the world in terms of people who deserve our praise and worship, the boys thought it would be good to carve out a least one celebrity person who we should honor for being alright people. Thi...

Henry and John are back! After a week’s hiatus, the boys return with unmistakable vim and vigor and maybe vinegar. In an effort to inject some much-needed cash into the podcast, Henry and John go all-in on a new tiered microtransaction scheme only for it to all go to pot when they realize it’s a thinly veiled scam. Rats! The intent was to provide podcast listeners with a sense of pride and accomplishment for spending hundreds of dollars on the podcast. Our team will continue to monitor community...

After a long, fright-filled month of spooky terrors, the ZC Boys are back with some regular ole, but still Good, Content. Trevor may have mysteriously vanished but the podcast rolls on, as Henry and John discuss what they’re doing in the podcast and why they’re doing it while they’re doing it in a State of the Podcast segment that answers all your deep, burning questions. John then starts mocking Henry’s thirst for understanding meme culture and that quickly transitions into a discussion questio...

WELCOME TO EPISODE 4 OF THE FRIGHTENTIMES / EPISODE 5 COMING SOON / EPISODE 6 FOLLOWS / AND FOREVER ON / WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF / DO YOU EVER GET ANXIOUS / EMAIL US / IF YOU REALLY HAD TO DO IT WHO WOULD YOU HURT FIRST / JOIN THE CONVERSATION RATE COMMENT SUBSCRIBE / EVERY TIME YOU SLEEP YOU DIE / WHEN YOU WAKE UP YOU ARE BORN AGAIN / AN ANIMAL WILL LET YOU KNOW IF IT IS BEING HURT / DO YOUR FEARS COME FROM A LACK OF UNDERSTANDING OR AN UNWILLINGNESS TO UNDERSTAND / FEED / FEED US / WE...

Just a little bit further now, I promise. We’ve come so far into the abyss, haven’t we? I doubt we’ll be able to return the same, go back to what we once were. The things we’ve seen change a person. I’ve tried to shield you from most of it. I wonder if you appreciate my…sacrifice. No longer am I the mild-mannered podcast episode description writer I once was. I have been broken down, made to suffer gruesome horror after gruesome horror. Am I better for it? Are you happy you’ve been spared? Why d...

We had all asked them to stop. Made them aware of the dangers. They didn’t listen. They continued unabated into the darkness, seeking the truth that hides within it. They’ve opened the door, and it’s up to us to close it. I understand your hesitation and wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to come with me, but someone has to stop the Frightentimes. The infection has to be cured at its source, and there’s only one place that could be. Be good, listener. There’s a long road ahead of us, but just...

It’s here. I tried to warn you, but what could we do? Henry and John have gone too far into the abyss and now they’re bringing it back with them as they return from their twisted journeys. Sure, they say they cover the cultural happenings of our current times in order to observe the Zeitgeist, but the sinister truth is far more distorted and vile than you can imagine. I’ve said too much. I think they’re on to me, but I’m come too far to let this go now. No, I will stop them. Even if it takes all...

John’s back on his philosophy BS this week, as the boys discuss– Wait. Did you hear that? I guess it’s nothing. Yeah. Ok. Um. Anyway, John has been reading some French stuff about loneliness or whatever, so Henry– Ok I definitely heard something that time. Like… A whining noise maybe. One second. … It must be the plumbing. Or. Or something. So Henry and John talk about the artistry of an effective protest, while contrasting that with the asymmetrical reaction to said protest and… This… They uh...

Well, Dear Listeners, we’re closing in fast on the last few weeks of September, the last few weeks of safety. This week, Henry and John discuss a lot of dark, dreary stuff, but it’s nothing compared to what’s coming. Recent earthquakes in Mexico, being more mindful in how you choose to spend your money, the Emmy’s. These are a few of the things they talk about, but believe me when I tell you that dark days are ahead of us. I’ve become numb to it all, but the pay is too good to leave this job and...

Let’s just put this up front: you GOTTA care about this Equifax thing. I’m in serious trouble if Henry and John find out I’m not weaving this into a mirthsome episode description, but you GOTTA take steps to prevent your identity being stolen. Even if you’re just giving this podcast the ole 71 Try and you’ve seen this description before you start listening, delay your podcast listening session and call people, freeze your credit reports, go to Bellarmine College Preparatory in San Jose, graduate...

Listeners, it’s time we had a little talk. As the official description writer of the Zero Credit(s) episodes, I feel it’s my place to warn you that this episode has a level of spookiness that, frankly, makes me uncomfortable. I am not a cowardly man or woman by any means, but this episode sent chills down my spine. Creepy happenings at fast food restaurants. Possibly satirical pop/rock songs about manhood. Video games featuring radio ghosts. It’s all here and it will frighten you as it frightene...

I don’t know what I’ve been told, Henry’s getting pretty old. Sound off. One, two. Howdy, Fashionistros and Fashionettes, to this comma-laden episode of Zero Credit(s). Henry, and John, like, discuss the warm glow altruism of birthday well-wishing, and subsequently devise the greatest birthday gaslighting campaign of the century. John, then, gripes about how fashion is expensive and how he’ll never afford shorts. On this week’s installment of What’s Happening in Game of Thrones, Henry gently rem...

Tonight we have a nice four course content meal, starting with a nice roasted Taste Testing of Coke’s new product in which Henry and John discover something new about themselves and the world. We then have a tossed Total Solar Eclipse salad, a light shared experience for the whole continent. We then move on to our main course, a char broiled TAYLOR SWIFT IS A SNAKE GODDESS AND WE HAVE THE EVIDENCE TO PROVE IT–WE WILL NOT BE SILENCED, SWIFT, KNOW THIS. And for dessert, a nice chocolate covered re...

The staff of the Zero Credit(s) offices would like to inform our listeners that the unthinkable has occurred: Henry and John have had to record an episode denouncing Nazism. One would have seemed wise to assume that there would never be a time in which two amateur podcast hosts would be duty-bound to publicly come out against Nazis. Oh and also murderers. But, like. Here we are now I guess. The boys get pretty political in this episode which, I feel I should remind you, was deemed a necessary me...

Listeners, it’s time to join Henry and John on their mission to bring to light information that those who hold the power do not want us to know. The powers that be have information they don’t want to get out, but thanks to our super sleuthing s-hosts, everyone will know that you shouldn’t spoil things if you’re a media journalist. Just don’t do it. Stop. Henry’s uncovered a massive conspiracy the likes of which the world has never seen or heard all revolving around Mick Jagger. But the hits don’...

“Listen. This is a podcast? Who leaked that to you? Let me tell you one thing. I have three to four podcast hosts I’m going to fire tomorrow. I’ll get to the person who leaked that to you. Henry? Henry — if you want to leak something — is going to be asked to resign very soon. I’m not John. I’m not trying to host my own segments. I’m not trying to build my own brand off the strength of the podcast. I’m here to write the descriptions. They’re trying to resist me. I’ve done nothing wrong in my pod...

Listeners, we are on the cusp of some of the greatest changes we could ever fathom in our society. Changes that may be the end of life as we know it, but not in like a sense that means everything dies or anything like that, just that life as we know it would be different and thus ended. Henry and John tackle the serious issues this episode, issues that no one else seems to be talking about. While politics is well, a mess, Coca-Cola is trying to sneak end Coke Zero in favor of a new product. Yeah...

Shhhh! Halt your noises! This is a sneaky-beaky episode of Zero Credit(s) because John’s S.O. is asleep 13 inches away and John has very poor time management skills. The boys quietly contemplate the diminishing returns of loyalty to a single company, which is something both of them have been thinking A LOT about lately. From there, John stealthily thrills Henry with a tryptic (?) detailing the sad fate of a lone robotic hero. There’s an old legend that states that if you listen reeeeal close to ...

Howdy folks, we’re back from our Fourth of July Break with a new episode for your thirsty, thirsty ears. Speaking of fireworks, aren’t they one of the weirdest approximations of war we use to celebrate how free from war we are? Or are we free at all? Hm. We then talk Wolff’s Law as John and Henry pledge to be the strongest, most adaptive things on the planet, and hopefully in a good way. Then J and H take a The Break featuring Merry Kitchen by Joystick off their new album Sinceriously before get...

The Boys discuss The Big Boys for this week’s Supplemental Reading of Australian absurdist comedy troupe Aunty Donna. That’s right, an entire episode dedicated to absurdist Australian comedy troupe men Aunt Donny. Henry and John get right down to brass tacks and get their listeners the answers they’ve been yearning for: whether you pronounce the second A in SamuAl, how many people are actually in Aunty Donna, and whether or not you should ever meet your heroes. The larder of secrets is burst ope...