Episodes

It’s a personal week here at Zero Credit(s) as the Henry and John head into the depths of recent loss and the process of insurance claim procedure for the tragic demise of Henry’s Scion Tc. This discussion naturally leads to Austin, TX, as all roads do, where we find the ZC boys have spent quite a lovely weekend together in the blazing heat that is the Austin Summer of 100 Degrees. Somewhere along the line, John forgets that he desperately wanted to talk about legendary Australian sketch comedy ...

Everybody who’s has ever entertained the idea of entering into an exclusive something something alliteration John has to leave now it’s a good episode trust me bye love you.

Hey listeners. Henry and John managed to both see a movie within a week of it coming out. Isn’t that cool? We’ve got thoughts about this particular film. Directed by Patty Jenkins, starring Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Robin Wright, etc, this movie promises a superhero action from a different perspective and it delivers hard. Bullets bouncing off bracers and thoughts slinging out of mouths and into ears, it’s Zero Credits presents a Supplemental Reading of Wonder Woman.

It’s fidget spinner o’clock on this culturally frozen episode of Zero Credit(s), and Henry and John are gonna dig deep. The specter of famed actor Terry Crews darkens the ZC doorstep once again this week, haunting the boys with visions of furniture and happiness. His specter is no match, however, for that of the Time Ghost, but the crew dispatches that ghoul just the same by wondering at the meaning of meaningless objects. To round out a pretty square podcast, What Did You Watch is back in FULL ...

Listeners, Henry’s been getting headaches every day this week and headaches put Henry in a mental fog. You won’t be able to tell, since he is a performer, after all, but deep down in his head there lies the ebbing of an ache that dulls the senses to anything that’s not a slightly throbbing pain. And John’s here to pick up some of Henry’s slack. So this episode is a bit weird because of that. Renaissance Fairs, Wikipedia Games, Race, we discuss it all. I’m not knocking this episode. It’s the GC Z...

In their latest bid to obtain magic genie powers, Henry (Dave Schehazared) and John (Florence Grimble) cook up a harebrained new holiday: Monkey Japes. Join them as they tell a series of meaningless lies all in the name of sweet exotic magic. Move over Justin Arbor Day and Mr. Boston Cream Pie Day, these fellas are shakin’ it up. Much like John is shakin’ up his career with supplemental income, and Henry is shakin’ up your mind with invasive thoughts of chronic Lyme disease. Fill your heart with...

Woah howdy there, ya’ll, it’s time for the Zero Credit(s) Round Up! All the Gang’s here. Henry. John. The Sexy Executive Officer. We’ve got them all and they’ve got some grand ole fun for you, Dear Listener. It all starts when John explains that life is all just one big drinking game where you have to wager whether your card is black or red. Yep, that’s all life is. End of story. We then briefly reveal where Henry lives to showcase Master Pancake Theatre, but don’t worry about that cause the wil...

Zero Credit(s) VR Experience Patch Notes 05/05/2017 – Fixed issue with horses – Nobility has been reduced – Added full simulation of cold medicine – Improved writing of Christopher Nolan – No longer possible to wiggle and fall through the earth – Dreams may be closer than they appear – Removed final rogue podcast – Removed Marc Maron from simulation – Fire no longer speaks – Added civil unrest functionality – Fixed crash issue when eating at THAT Starbucks. You know the one. – Added ...

It’s been a while since the last Supplemental Reading. 20 years, in fact. We’ve grown old. Our healing factors don’t work quite as well and the claws still hurt every time they come out. Come listen to John and Henry discuss the movie that’s so good, it hurts to watch. Every second is filled with pain. The movie’s pretty pain filled too. Be warned as there’s no mercy for those who haven’t seen the movie. Spoilers are our trade here. We’re no good at what we do, and what we do is also no good. Bu...

The drums beat out a crisp beat, urging their soldiers forward. Bom, bom bom bom. The microscopic soldiers have marched for two weeks without rest, laying siege to John’s immune system. They’ve sieged the nose, razed the throat, and left the stomach a burned husk, and yet they drive on. How much longer could this war go on, they wonder. Their wives are lonely. Their children are hungry. Bom, bom bom bom.

John has a fatal secret in this episode that he doesn’t reveal until it’s too late. Seriously, we discuss robot cookbooks fueled by neural network learning, including Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Cake and Chocolate Chips with Chocolate Chips, and the entire time John is harboring a secret that could threaten the very existence of the podcast. We even change topics to The Legend of Zelda: The Breath of the Wild on the Nintendo Switch and all of its intricate, interlocking systems, and ...

Listeners, it’s been a heck of a week and to top it all off, I (Henry) have to go into work today, which is Saturday. I work hard during the week. I like to think I earn my weekend. I put in 40+ hours, but that’s not enough. No. Here’s more hours during my weekend. So this episode is late. That’s all I want to say. We talk about stuff. Here’s an episode. Let’s dance. Music: Underclocked by Eric Skiff

Greetings listener, to this weary episode of Zero Credit(s)! Henry and John crawl out of their respective corporate holes to deliver a bold prediction: capitalism will persist for six more weeks. That doesn’t stop John from getting uncharacteristically fired-up about Lucha Libre, though, as he schools Henry on the finer points of the seedy action of Lucha Underground. Ever wondered how high a coffee table should be? Worry not, because the boys call in a ringer for some intense interior design ti...

Welcome back, listeners, to Season Two. This time around, we’ve got loads of things to talk about, from Furby bug reports to representing women in film in this brash new string of 80’s and 90’s revived franchises. Should women always be represented as the tough warriors we see them as in films constantly? Maybe. Or should films follow the more general guideline of let ________ be ________. Then we have a pretty hopping The Break featuring music by Flying Raccoon Suit. Somewhere along the line, J...

“The World’s Greatest Podcast 2017” Season 2 is live, listeners. Henry and John have cleaned the old Zero Credit(s) Lodge up a little bit, but they smashed most of the lights and threw out some precious segments. A darker, more streamlined abode awaits you beyond the threshold. Should you choose to enter, you would be delighted by the semi-informed critiques of the American healthcare system, flabbergasted by their ignorance of insurance, and flummoxed by the serendipity of their themes. Your f...

It’s time, Dear listeners. Time for season one of your favorite, time-honored podcast to come to a rapid and satisfying(?) close. All the plot lines come rushing in to a gooey, cupcake-filled singularity in a way that will both thrill, shock, and discomfort you. In traditional TV-style, we’re not pulling any of our punches for this, the last episode of the current season. Someone will talk about video games. Someone will talk about movies. Someone might die. The stakes have never been higher, no...

> enter zero credits You haul your worryworn carcass across the threshold of another Zero Credit(s) episode. To the EAST there is a hairdresser, starved for conversation. To the NORTH there is happiness. To the WEST there is a Literary Canon. What do you do? > w The Literary Canon is stuffed with misplaced aggression toward Walden. To the EAST there is an episode of Zero Credit(s). > fire literary cannon I don’t understand. > e You haul your worryworn carcass across the threshold of anot...

It’s all sports this week, folks, so buckle on those pads and strap in that chin protector part of the helmet, cause things are about to get real foot-ball tough. In a spectacular copyright dodging special, Henry and John discuss all the basics of foot-ball, including the rules and regulations that give John the ole Blue 42 run-around. OMAHA. We then dive into the high thrilling halftime before we take a break to discuss the special commercials featured on this high-octane day. KILL KILL KILL. J...

Voip voip! It’s another Internet Transmission Day from Zero Credit(s)! We’ve got it all* on this week’s episode! Give it a listen! *The word “all” in this context is exclusive only to things related and applying to: misuse of the word “anagram,” nested acronym pedantry, Dungeons and Dragons creative writing, authorship and the authorship of podcast hosts, meaningless careers filled with yearning for greener pastures, fear, reducing stress, mindfulness, finding happiness within oneself, and vide...

Through the old rusted pipes of Skype come we, dear Listeners, in this episode of our time-honored podcast. Henry and John are charged up and drop some politically charged knowledge about the state of our nation, the people in charge of it, and how not tolerating “alternative facts” is the new Uncle Sam. They then rewrite the Spiderman theme to better reflect the eight-eyed supervillian’s true colors after John regales us of his harrowing trip to the optometrist. Anna Karenina is mentioned as we...

Join Henry and John as they venture into The Cyber, having left their physical forms behind. In this new digital age, old standards of discourse are a relic of times gone by, leaving The Cyber Boys to blast open the flood gates of Internet Babies, Regular Babies, and the monetization of babies. In what might be the most unwittingly ironic event of 2017 (thus far), John openly discusses his desire to become a person who capitalizes on his desires rather than just talking about them. John talks ab...

Here’s Jamie The Less Than Zeroes continue with special guest and Henry’s girlfriend, Jamie. Come listen all that gushy couple stuff that you can’t stand to see in public. It’s Jamie’s podcast debut and she can barely contain her excitement. Find out what happened to the box, what Jamie wants to do with the Sharp TV, and more shocking mysteries. We’ve got a tiny What Did You Watch, where Jamie and Henry explore the finer and possibly missed points of Matt Damon and Ben Affleck’s opus: Good Will...

Grand Moff Talkin’ Listeners, John and Henry cannot be together this week, both physically and emotionally and as such, this is the first Less Than Zero episode, a spin-off of Zero Credit(s) featuring the people you love to listen to, but in a different capacity. For instance, John got friend of the show and special guest Natalie to talk about Rogue One with this week in an attempt to fill the Henry-sized hole in his black, black heart. Sure they discuss all the finer points and in’s and out’s ...

Listeners, we’ve got some sad news in this, our last full episode of 2016. Consequences of our actions finally come to pasture as Henry is forced out of town in accordance to the ancient laws of Best/Worst competitions. But first, one last blast of capital G, capital C Good Content. John is manic as he has consumed some of the Devil’s Bean and it’s up to our Hero Henry to reign him in. Or at least try to. We bounce from topic to topic, searching for truth and something real to hold on to, but al...