Episodes

We are continuing our conversation on the dangers of living a life of people pleasing and how Black women easily fall prey to it because of the unreasonable expectations we place on ourselves and how we succumb to the outrageous expectations of others. There are countless negative consequences attached to people pleasing. In today’s episode we take a look at what ten years of people pleasing looks like in day to day living and how it nearly destroyed a life. Check it out and when you’re finished...

People pleasing may seem like a harmless act of love”, but the truth is it can lead to serious health risks, including stress, anxiety, and depression. It is virtually impossible to be all the things to all the people AND prioritize your own self care. People pleasing leaves little time for rest, relaxing, or exercising which can lead to anger, burn out, and overwhelming feelings of sadness. In today’s episode we take a look into the risks of people pleasing and how they show up in our day to da...

As we continue “uncaping” and “unmasking” Olivia Pope & the people pleaser in her, we discover that people pleasers often start out as PARENT PLEASER If children spend the majority of their childhood/teen years conforming to the needs, desires, and expectations of their parents, and are constantly seeking approval and acceptance, they’ll eventually start believing that the only way they’ll receive love and nurturing is when they’re [unconsciously] taking on the role of people pleaser. In today’s...

We’re baaaccck!!!! In Day 3 of 30 Days of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding we’re taking a look at the side effects of the Black Superwoman Syndrome.. We’re continuing our examination of Scandal’s Olivia Pope and how the characteristcs of the Black SUPERWOMAN show up in our individual lives. Today’s episode looks at how and why Olivia didn’t have the emotional support she needed in her life, why a vast majority of Black women are lacking the same, how our chlldhood experiences contribute to that...

We’re back with day 2 of 30 Days of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman. This series takes on the task of peeling back the layers of four popular television characters [Olivia Pope, Annalise Keating, Cookie Lyon, and Mary Jane Paul], who in their individual roles embody the stereotypical Strong Black Superwoman. In today’s episode we continue examining why Oliva Pope does life the way she does life. We take a look at how she was loved as a child and how that love contri...

Welcome to day one of 30 Days of Uncaping, Unmasking, and Unhiding the Strong Black Superwoman. Over the next 30 days we’re going to peel back the layers of four popular television characters [Olivia Pope, Annalise Keating, Cookie Lyon, and Mary Jane Paul], who in their individual roles embody the stereotypical Strong Black Superwoman. First up is OLIVIA POPE. In this episode we start peeling back the layers to determine what cape and mask she wears. What’s inside: An overview of why we’re doin...

The Black SUPERWOMAN aka the trope of the Strong Black Woman isn’t going to magically disappear by closing our eyes, clicking our heels and saying POOF BE GONE. That stoic, unbendable Black woman that we’re all too familiar with is not only ingrained into the soul of SOCIETY, it’s also deeply rooted in the souls of Black women across the globe, which means slaying Superwoman is going to take an aggressive approach — it’s going to take us taking a dive in to the pain beneath her independence, her...

“You’re out here being superwoman — doing all the things, then when they expect it from you, you get an attitude.” Malaika Simmons did not come to play games with y’all in this episode. She said if you don’t want to be called superwoman, say it with your WHOLE chest… DON’T CALL ME SUPERWOMAN!! This conversation was everything I hoped it would be. Malaika took me on a journey of how she made the transition from the superwoman lifestyle, the challenges that came along with it and how she delibera...

When you think about uncaping, unmasking, and unhiding the Black female body, what’s the first thing that comes to mind for you? Nicole D. Vick joined me in the virtual studio today to answer that question. She and I had a “real talk” conversation about how politicized the Black female body [from our hair to our feet] is and how the Black female body is scrutinized so much that Black women often feel like they don’t own their bodies. Nicole points out how Black female bodies have been examined a...

Strong Black women didn’t just miraculously appear on the scene. They were little Black girls who grow up to be strong Black women. In this episode of the Shades of Strong podcast we take a deep dive into how Black women are socialized to strong even before they leave their mothers’ womb, thereby making them susceptible to the Black superwoman syndrome. If you’ve ever questioned why or how you came to be “strong”, or why you behave the way you behave in certain circumstances, this episode will...

In today’s episode Lakeisha Carter takes us on a journey of how she took steps to free herself from the Superwoman Syndrome, is now striving to live an uncaped life, and how therapy is playing an integral part in her healing. She admits that living an uncaped life is challenging because she was introduced to the Superwoman mentality in childhood and kinda felt like Superwoman was her destiny, but after losing her father she knew it was time to do life differently. She reluctanlty sought support ...

Sis!!! You DO NOT have to be your own best friend. In this episode Natty and Shirl are joined by Lana Hunter and Melissa J. Nixon who have developed a friendship that few have the privilege of enjoying. Lana and Melissa both believe that despite how friendships ebb and flow, lasting friendships are very much possible and they are living proof of it. Today we chat it up about how they met, how long they’ve been friends, what keeps the friendship GROWING, and how we can ALL experience long lasting...

The results are in and her results reveal that she’s Olivia Pope. Tune in as Anyonita G. shares her thoughts on her results from the superwoman archetype quiz. The quiz uses four popular television characters (Olivia Pope, Cookie Lyon, Annalise Keating and Cookie Lyon) to not only help you identify which archetype is most dominant in you, but also to help you to identify when and how the personality traits were birthed in you. And it doesn’t just top there, the quiz also offers tips and strate...

The mother wound — the festering wound that we MUST heal in order to fully experience the joy of being in relationship with our sistas. Sistahood is the container where we GET to surrender to deeper levels of support, deeper levels of love and accountability, but it is virtually impossible to experience such deep connections when your mother wound is lingering in the unhealed crevices of your soul. If you find yourself mistrusting other women, playing small, or unable to feel at peace and ground...

Welcome to another feature in our Black from the Past™ segment. Today’s feature is Willie (Big Mama) Thornton, blues singer and song writer from Montgomery, AL. Quick Facts: Willie Mae (Big Mama) Thornton’s career lasted from the 1940s until the 1980s Earned the name “Big Mama” at the Apollo Theatre in New York Best known for her recording of Hound Dog released in 1953 Hound Dog topped the R & B charts selling 2 million copies, but Big Mama was only paid $500 Elvis Presley recorded another vers...

Sistahood, the bond that keeps Black women together… …until it doesn’t, right? Contrary to what mainstream media would have you believe, Black women are the original GIRLFRIENDS — the original sistahood. Seriously, NOBODY has your back like Black women do. But the reality is, whether intentional or unintentional, Black women DO hurt Black women. …and it’s time to have a conversation about it. In this episode Shirl and Natty are chatting it up about how Black women have each other’s backs and how...

Welcome to our first Black from the Past™ highlight of the season where we’re shining a light on Mary Eliza Mahoney, the first Black woman to study and work as a professionally trained nurse in the United States. Quick Facts: Born in Boston, MA to freed slaves Worked as a nurse in the early 19th & 20th centuries Started working at the New England hospital for women & children as a teenager. She spent 15 years working there as a cook, a laundress, janitor and nurses aid. Attended the nursing at...

Black women have been rocking the Black superwoman cape since we were little Black girls. Don’t believe it? Check out Shirl’s “Red Rover” story in this first episode of Season 4. Tune in as Shirl and Natty give you a behind the scenes look at what caping, masking and hiding looks like for them, how it all started, the NUMBER ONE thing the cape is costing them and how they’re learning to ditch the cape piece by piece, layer by layer. This episode also takes a look at: How the superwoman cape oft...

Sis, aren’t you tired of rocking that Superwoman cape? Aren’t you tired of letting “them” tell you how to do life, how to do strong? If you answered yes, season four is just what you need to start the journey to uncaping. The theme for this season is “Things We’ve Lost to the [Superwoman] Cape” and we’re talking about ALL THE THINGS the cape is costing us and how we ditch the cape piece by piece layer by layer. The cape is costing ALOT: Sisterhood and community Relationship and intimacy Our em...