Episodes

It sounds completely wrong when I say, "I don't want you to have a better relationship." It sounds wrong, but it is TRUE! GR8 relationships doesn't teach about better or improved relationships—we want you to have relationships that are radically different! It's time to START doing relationships radically different—the same way God relates to you.,/p>

The term "bar ditch" is generally known in rural areas in the south. The common explanation of "bar ditch" involves creating drainage for a rural road. Dirt was taken from the sides of the road and used to build the road making it higher in the middle to drain water to the ditches on the sides.

The "Can You? - Will You? - When? Technique" is designed to help people think through their current behavior and decide whether they will change. For most behaviors, maybe all, you "can", but too many people do not define "can" correctly.

You probably have heard that God did not give us the 10 Suggestions, He gave us the 10 Commandments. That is very true, but there is a critical difference to be considered on how God sees the commands versus how we see the commands.

That energy is spent trying to get them to change and spent when they do not change in the time frame you want or expect. It creates stress and tension and it's all because you are trying to do something that even GOD DOES NOT DO! God does not make us change—He wants it, invites us to see how His way is best, but leaves it up to us to reject what is best for us!

Remember the "4 Mistakes That Cripple Relationships". (Go to Course 05A to get the details.) Each mistake tries to control or limit the freedom of the people around you. Unfortunately, we only recognize the Dictator as being controlling.

Maybe you have heard, "Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone." Actually, according to God, beauty—incorruptible beauty—is as deep as your soul. And, it's available without any exercise, medical procedures, pills, drugs or diets.

Louie and I have heard that many times from both men and women. Does that mean the biblical designs are wrong? Of course not. Just because I have a design does not mean that the design will be properly utilized. For example, have you ever used a common kitchen knife as a screwdriver? It can be used that way, but the design is not as useful as when the knife is used to spread jelly or butter on some bread.

Results AND Relating is a great principle for any relationship to use and it is imperative for great leadership. The principle is just another way to talk about the image of God—Separate, Powerful (Results)—Belonging, Relational (Relating).

Your relationships will be just like the couple above when the image of God is distorted. Men's testosterone puts a focus on power for men and women's estrogen-progesterone focus on relating. Of course, development can focus men on relating and women on power, so we have a real mess. Whether based on design or development, each of us tends to have a preference for power or relating. Too much power becomes "My way or the highway!" Too much relating becomes "Can't we all just get along!"

If the image of God is best described by the two words—Powerful and Relational, then we should be able to find scriptures to support the idea.

Here is what you may have been taught is the image of God: God has emotions—mankind has emotions; God has intellect—mankind has intellect; God has a will—mankind has a will. While true, here is a better option—God's image has something to do with maleness and femaleness. Genesis 1:26-27 are the first verses that use "image of God".

Women are an absolutely stunning creation and blessing from God. I can identify with Adam's pleasure when he first saw Eve. That is a common feeling when I look at Louie, even to this day.

Man is designed to WORK, but he needs a suitable companion, which is why God designed woman.

Without clarity of good and bad, anything goes. Satan wants us confused, thinking that things are not really good or bad. In fact, he wants you to think that things are complex, even those things that are plain and obvious. The primary strategy that he uses to add complexity to our life is was used with Eve in the Garden of Eden.

The common pattern everyone experiences has three simple steps and it sounds like this: “I was living this way. Then one day THIS happened. Now I live my life differently.”

Actions can help your feelings change. But if you are acting differently than you feel, does that mean you "Fake it till you make it?" Since your feelings are indicators, they reveal what your thoughts are and what your actions may be. Feelings and BehaviorNo doubt, thinking belongs at the beginning, so should acting come second or third? You can realize significant benefits when you act, even when your emotions oppose the action, and strengthen your action when emotions are engaged.Which is it ...

Some people aren't interested in getting to a solution or finding a way to get along - they say, "Just let me be mad!" Is that okay? Not if they are not willing to slow down and talk to help resolve whatever is the issue. But, you also want them to express those feelings whether valid or not. Feelings are bad or good; they are just indicators. Therefore, they respond to the stimuli they receive and are untrustworthy and fickle. You can reinforce the idea that feelings are primarily responders an...

To use the Magic Question tool properly you need good listening and question skills. It is designed to help people discover solutions rather than being told what to do. Try these steps on yourself and see what happens.

Do you have a favorite scary movie? Maybe the classic movie "Pyscho". Mine is the original "Alien" and even though it is my favorite, it's difficult to watch, because it does such a good job of scaring me with its special effects and story!

The Freedom V is an excellent tool and principle because it helps you grasp the relationship between freedom and self-governance. The Freedom V graphic is largely self-explanatory. The two most essential elements are the V shape and the arrow in the middle.The V ElementsFirst, the V shape. The lines on the right and left are boundaries that define the limits of acceptable behavior. These boundaries are best when they are clear and bright. Nothing is left to speculation or conjecture. And they ne...

The Antonov 225 is a very large airplane—350 tons and can carry 300 tons of cargo—but it flies! That must mean that gravity is not real OR there is a principle higher than gravity. Of course, gravity is real, but Bernoulli's Principle shows us that speed combined with the shape of a wing creates lift "defying" gravity.

Judging other people is so easy, isn't it? All it takes is to look around at all of the "other sinners" and start our judgmental engine. And, what is best about it, even if we don't know something that they are doing that's wrong, we still can speculate about how bad they are. When we are judgmental, we are not willing to accept someone the way they are—flawed, depraved humans just like us. Our "Flashing ME" wants to elevate ourselves above them to make us feel better.

When you operate with freedom toward others, you do not judge them. You can be disappointed with their behavior, but you recognize that any change they make will not last unless they decide to change.