Episodes

Movies and TV talk about real love, meaningful relationships but what exactly does that look like? We know that the model held up to us is an ideal, probably not what we have experienced. In this episode Alvean and Doug offer some thoughts on how to know whether your experience is in fact real love. A full transcript is offered here:LL04

Can the act of loving expand our capacity to love? In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss what we really experience when we fully and unselfishly give our hearts away to another. A full transcript is available here: LL03

Consciously or otherwise most of us choose models for living, for parenting, in our relationships and work. Who you choose says a great deal about your values and moral compass, but also defines the version of yourself you wish to show the world. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how we model ourselves on others and why. A full transcript can be found here: LL02

Hear how Alvean and Doug –a seemingly unlikelly pair found each other and began their partnership in LoveLife. LL01-

For some, intimacy is simply code language for sex. For others it describes a deep emotional bond. In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the various forms of intimacy couples may experience and how best to ensure that those feelings are both mutual and sustainable.

Relationships can end for many reasons but one of the most difficult causes is when there is another person involved. Sometimes that other person is a newborn or a child from another relationship. In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the ways in which couples can cope with the array of feelings that may occur and how they can find resolution by redefining their definition of us.

In a perfect world a couple is loved and supported by their respective families but sometimes that turns out to be more of a challenge than not. There is such a thing as toxic families, ones that pollute a relationship with negativity and place a strain on an otherwise loving couple–even to the point of dissolving their union. In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer suggestions for the best way to navigate toxic family members and chart a secure and strong relationship in the midst of corrosive b...

We have all heard of May-December romances, suggesting an age related gap–sometimes of many years. But is such a disparity doomed to failure, a fantasy in novels but a nightmare in real life? Can two people overcome the hurdles life poses and those that family and friends may add or is there simply a limit on the differences that will work in a successful relationship? In this episode Alvean and Doug take on the question and given the differences in their own ages and stages of life offer some t...

Getting what you want does not mean you need to be in a contest, one that can have lasting and damaging consequences for your relationship. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about the ways in which you can arrive at an outcome that strengthens your relationship while achieving the agency that each of you desire. For more and a full transcript, click here: LL47-Getting What You Want

In times of trouble we often turn to our friends and families to counsel us and offer their support. But is this a healthy approach to take? In this episode, Alvean and Doug caution their listeners to avoid the mistake of relying on friends or family members as therapists, and offer some insight into the ways that approach can have lasting and negative consequences. For a full transcript, click here: LL-46 Friends and Family as Counselors

Relationships can be hard at times and one of the hardest is when one of you falls ill. Even when the illness is not too serious being a caregiver can be trying and when we don’t feel well it is hard to bring your best self to the relationship. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about their own real experiences dealing with the serious illness of a partner and child and how one can cope with these challenges. For a complete transcript, click here: LL41-In Sickness & in Health

Our brains are hard wired with a fight or flight instinct. When faced with an adverse situation our reflexes automatically engage and that can cause a great deal of tension in a relationship leading to argument or abandonment. Alvean and Doug talk about this and how one can recognize the reaction and short circuit the emotions so that calm and rational behavior can be maintained. For a full transcript, click here: LL42-Fight or Flight

Relationships are not a constant. Things change over time and one of those changes comes with age. But relationships do not have to grow old or stale with age, in fact they can become even better, with richer and deeper engagement. Alvean and Doug offer some insights on how to nurture the spark and claim the feelings that come with a mature relationship. For more and a full transcript, click here:

We all know what those first days of a new relationship feel like, the rush of hormones and emotions, the excitement and sometimes overwhelming feelings of love. But what happens when the love isn’t there anymore or at least the intense feelings once felt have lessened? In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss the natural progression we experience and temper those with suggestions how we can not only maintain but foster a deeper and more meaningful connection to our loved one. For more, and a co...

In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about a challenge that more and more people are experiencing, how to remain positive when the news and events in the world around you seem very negative. Psychologists and Social Workers report increasing anxiety in the present day, as latent fears and worries, economic and otherwise, are causing strains that can drastically affect people’s state of mind and their relationships. Learn how to avoid the traps and foster a healthy and realistic approach when th...

Struggles for power, manipulation and arguments are signs a couple has not learned the art of persuasion. In this episode Alvean and Doug offer insight as to how to share information and feelings in a way that can help assure harmony and understanding for all concerned. For a complete transcript, click here: LL37-The Art of Persuasion

At least half or more of the challenges couples create for themselves arise from a failure to listen. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about ways to ensure you are on receive and not just broadcast when you and your other half converse. For a full transcript, click here: LL36-Listening-Tune in or Tune out

Children and pets can bring a wonderful bond that completes a relationship or they can become a source of disunion, it all depends on how a couple addresses it beforehand. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how to ensure both parties are on the same page about key issues assuring a happy and fulfilling life together. For a complete transcript, click here: LL35-When Kids or Pets are in the way

You’ve probably heard it said that couples that pray together stay together. Is there any truth to this? Religion can play a role in helping couples navigate their relationship or it can lead to fractious quarrels and disunion. Alvean and Doug discuss the pitfalls and the promises that a faith based relationship can offer in this episode. For a full transcript, click here: LL34-Couples That Pray Together

It happens, especially if a couple have been together for a long time. The passion seems to be less and less common as everyday life with all its stresses and challenges get in the way. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about ways in which couples can renew the patterns and behaviors that ignited their passion in the first place. For a complete written transcript, click here: LL33-How to Bring Passion Back?

Along with differences in libido Money is one of the chief issues that couples tend to argue about in the course of their relationship. In this episode Alvean and Doug reveal the underlying causes and more importantly strategies for avoiding the consequences. For a full transcript, click here: LL32-Why Do couples Quarrel About Money?

Be honest, flirting is fun–even thrilling for some, but it can cross a line into something much less innocent. In this episode, Alvean and Doug explore the motivations behind flirting and the ground rules that can keep it light hearted and positive without causing harm or crossing over into emotional or physical cheating. For a complete transcript, click here: LL31-Why Men and Women Flirt

A lot of books have been written on this subject but many deal only with superficial themes. Alvean and Doug go deeper to help listeners understand some of the fundamental truths about how different genders process thoughts and emotions, and how that knowledge can help listeners avoid the usual misunderstandings that can accompany relationships. For more and a full transcript, click here: LL30-How Men and Women Differ

In this episode, Alvean and Doug take on a familiar subject–why otherwise loving couples quarrel. The issues are relatively common, arising from differences over money, divisions of labor, intimacy, and in some cases parenting. They offer some practical suggestions about how to mediate such differences and resolve the underlying factors that lead to dis harmony in relationships. For a full transcript, click here: LL29-Why Do Couples Quarrel?