Episodes

It is said that time heals all wounds but is that true or is it love? In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about the healing properties of loving and being loved. For a complete transcript, click here: LL28-Can Love Heal?

Torn between two lovers–its the popular song that this episode reflects. Is it possible to be in love, honest and true love with two different people at the same time? You don’t have to wait for the big reveal, the answer is no, but you’ll want to listen to Alvean and Doug to find out why. Fot a full transcript, click here:LL27-Can you love two people equally?

Surely you have met someone like this–a person who believes they are the center of the universe and nothing you or anyone else says or does can dissuade them of this opinion. Well fasten your seatbelts–Alvean and Doug discuss the best way to address those who behave this way and how best to protect yourself from their outsized egos. For more and a complete transcript, click here:LL26-It is all about me

Loneliness seems epidemic these days–certainly among younger generations. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about some positive aspects of being alone, and how one can use that time to renew self love and affirm one’s feelings about others. For a full transcript, click here: LL25-Savoring Loneliness

Have you ever heard this expression–possibly from kids but sometimes said in another way it is the sentiment behind adult push back. In this episode, Alvean and Doug dissect the meaning behind that expression and why it is an important indicator of control issues that may be working behind the scenes. For a full transcript, click here: LL24-You’re not the Boss of Me

Conventional wisdom suggests the answer is yes, but is that really true. In this episode Alvean and Doug take on the question with some surprising insights int what makes for a lively and rich relationship. For a full transcript, click here: LL23-Do Opposites Attract

Arguably, jealousy is one of the most toxic emotions, one that can destroy any relationship. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about its roots in insecurity and poor ideation of the self. They offer some thoughts about how best to counter it and create an environment that in wholesome, and transparent. For more click here: LL22-Jealousy

Can you go back? Do failed relationship work on a second try or is the damage too profound to ever repair. In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer their thoughts on the pitfalls and possible benefits of a second chance. For a full transcript, click here:LL21-Getting Back with Your Ex

Maybe you have had the experience or perhaps heard about such situations. When a relationship ends it is often more than painful emotionally, some partners go that extra step to inflict even more pain, emotionally, financially, or in other ways. How does one handle such a situation and even more pertinent, how does one avoid it in the first place. Listen to what Alvean and Doug have to say in this episode: LL20-Vindictive Ex’s

If there is a human trait that matters more and least understood, it is empathy. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about why empathy is at the core of all durable relationships, ib life, work and love. For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL19-Empathy is a Lost Virtue

It takes a secure person to open themselves up to others but it is only through vulnerability that true emotional connection can flourish. Alvean and Doug explore this paradox in this episode and offer vivid examples from their own experience. For a full transcript, click here: LL18-Vulnerability

Philosophers and everyday men and women alike wrestle with the question, what is my purpose in life? What actually matters–and how do we discover the answers? In this episode, Alvean and Doug take on these pithy questions and offere their own experience and insights in response. For a full transcript, click here: LL17

It sounds counter-intuitive but Alvean and Doug would tell you that some of our most painful experiences are also incredibly important teaching moments. Although no one seeks out suffering, especially where relationships are concerned, emotional pain, loss and grief take us to places where we can look at ourselves and our lives in a more objective perspective and emerge–either through one’s own devices or with help into a better and healthier life. For a full transcript of this episode, click he...

Some have said that a broken heart is worse than any physical pain, and for many it is one of if not the hardest thing they may face at a young age. Alvean and Doug discuss the ways we mend and build on a stronger foundation following a difficult passage such as this. For more and a full transcript, click here: LL14

As a followup to last week’s episode, Alvean and Doug take on the thorny question, can anyone prevent their partner from cheating? Alvean unfolds her now famous dry grass analogy to explain how relationship fare when they are not regularly tended. And Doug tells a story about a marriage that foundered through inattention. For a full transcript, click here: LL13

It may be the hardest test of a relationship, when one partner is unfaithful to the other. In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss how to move on –whether the relationship is at its end or otherwise and how to know the difference between someone that cheated (and why) and someone who is a cheater. For more, and a complete transcript, click here: LL12

Doug & Alvean share stories about the best advice they ever received regarding relationships. For a full transcript, click here: LL11

A lot has been written and said about interracial or inter-religious relationships and the challenges they pose, but really these differences are only a part of what Alvean and Doug describe as cross cultural relationships because they involve more than race or faith, but a matrix of language, behavior social and cultural norms that may be wide or narrowly different between partners. In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer some thoughts on how to energize and remain open to thsoe diferences seein...

Whether as a result of divorce, widowhood, or other circumstances second marriages often face the prospect of combining families. Where children are involved this is a delicate and potentially difficult proposition but also one that can be rewarding and a significant improvement for all involved. The results turn on how well the prospective partners relate to and communicate with their children in the months/years prior to combining their households and families. Alvean and Doug take on this tri...

It has become increasingly common to find that traditional gender roles in the household are no longer –well, traditional. Who is the primary housekeeper, parent, breadwinner? It isn’t always what one might expect which raises some questions about how best to navigate the relationship when the traditional roles no longer apply. For many men, being the stay at home father/homekeeper is a delight but for others it is a challenge when one’s spouse or partner makes more. And it isn’t limited to men ...

Perhaps a friend has said it–maybe it was you: Where are all the good (men/women), I just can’t find the one. If you have any self awareness this should lead you to ask the question: Am I Too Picky? You may not be, or you just might but failing to ask the question is an all too common mistake. Let’s face it, we dream of finding the ideal person–and once we get to know our intended we no sooner begin to notice the small or larger issues -things we want to change or in extreme cases cannot abide. ...

We probably should have been more direct. There is no good way to say goodbye–but there are ways to bring a relationship to a close without causing each other deep and lasting pain. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how to do just that–to honestly and transparently acknowledge that for whatever reasons the relationship has run its course and the possibility of resurrecting mutuality is nil. You may remain friends after a time, or not as you both navigate the future but you can and shou...

You’ve probably heard people describe someone as a soul mate, or say that their relationship was meant to be. Are their cosmic relationships, those blessed by God, and karmically arranged, or are these simply justifications? Alvean and Doug take on this somewhat controversial subject in this episode, a transcript of which may be found here: LL05

Quite often men and women will question whether their relationships are authentic, or a manifestation of chemistry, the short tem allure of the chase, or some other temporary circumstance. In this episode, Alvean and Doug offer some thoughts on how to recognize a genuine bond, built of real love and respect for one’s partner. For more and a full transcript, click here: LL04