Episodes

How often do you sit and contemplate what's possible from a positive perspective? Our brains are very good at asking the "what if" question when it comes to worry inducing thoughts. In this episode of the podcast, I'm turning it upside down and introducing you to a powerful concept that will open your mind and accelerate your progress in creating more of what you want in your life and marriage. You will learn the power of asking "what if" from the future you desire. So much is possible for y...

What you do, over and over again creates BIG gains. In how you feel, how you experience your marriage, and your overall life. In this episode I share with you the concept of cumulative effect and why it's so important to create the healthy, happy marriage that you want. It may seem like your day-to-day decisions to do the right and loving thing are slow in crating the BIG changes you want, but that's not necessarily the case. Tune in to learn more about this power concept and what you can do ...

What you do, over and over again creates BIG gains. In how you feel, how you experience your marriage, and your overall life. In this episode I share with you the concept of cumulative effect and why it's so important to create the healthy, happy marriage that you want. It may seem like your day-to-day decisions to do the right and loving thing are slow in crating the BIG changes you want, but that's not necessarily the case. Tune in to learn more about this power concept and what you can do ...

When a marriage experiences challenges, there are a set of predictable positions each person holds that create conflict, disconnection and dysfunction. In this episode I'm taking you inside a concept I first learned about from world-renown couple's therapist Terry Real and sharing with you 4 common relational positions that perpetuate marital issues. Knowing where you and your partner fall on each of these is incredibly important data to have in order to shift things in a more position directi...

Have you ever considered how giving your spouse the benefit of the doubt can actually benefit YOU? In this episode, I share with you the power concept of Benefit of the Doubt and talk you through why it will help you improve your marriage. If you find yourself assuming and expecting the worst, this podcast will give point you in a more productive direction to experience more of what you want. Also mentioned in this episode: Work with me directly! There are a variety of options available for ...

One of the most important distinctions you need to be able to make in your marriage is what is healthy vs. what is unhealthy. So much unhappiness and conflict arises when one or both of you are operating from a relationally UNhealthy place. In our episode today I'm breaking down the most common unhealthy dynamics I see - both those that I would considered "marital neglect" and those that I would define as "marital aggress". When you clearly understand what is healthy and what is not, you are ...

Does your spouse sometimes feel like an enemy to you? Do you struggle to get on the same page about simple things? Find yourself always feeling like you are on the defensive with them? Does it feel like they look for ways to make things harder to you to get along? If so, this episode will help you so much. I'm breaking down the concept of the Enemy Mindset and how it's taking a toll on you and your marriage. I also teach you a simple shift in your perspective to go from feeling like enemies t...

This one is a vulnerable and personal podcast about my own parenting challenges as my daughter enters her tween years. In several conversations I've had, I noticed the striking parallels between different seasons of the parenting relationship and different seasons of the marital relationship. At the end of the day relationships are relationships are relationships. As I've processed my own shifting dynamics as a parent, there are so many relevant lessons, take aways and helpful approaches that ...

How do you lead yourself well in a challenging season of your marriage? What does it look like to still show up as your best, even when you are angry, hurt and upset? What are the standards you commit to holding yourself to, no matter what? In today's podcast episode, we are diving into the topic of self leadership - showing up, doing what's right, with kindness, love and respect. This concept is so important in order for you to create the experiences and positive changes that you want. Your a...

In this episode of the podcast we are having a sensitive conversation about the topics of grief, compassion and radical acceptance. So many people struggle with what to do with their unmet expectations. The answer is to grieve. So many people struggle with regret and shame for past choices. The answer is to have compassion. So many people exhaust themselves trying to make their partner or marriage something different than what it is. The answer is to practice radical acceptance. I break down...

We all have behaviors and actions we take that keep us from our goals. In marriage, there are likely things you have a habit of doing that keep you from experiencing the healthiest and happiest marriage possible. In this episode of the podcast I break down some of the most common "bad" habits I see couples engage in. Underneath any behavior that keeps you from your goal is an underlying need. We will be discussing how to go beyond "will power" and "discipline" to change the foundation of how yo...

In today's podcast, we are diving into the experience of being STUCK. So many people come to me feeling like they are not making the progress they want. And it's a long-term experience for them. If you have this same experience it's important to identify exactly where you are stuck. There are 4 specific categories of "stuckness" to consider. Once you have more information about where the bottle neck is for yourself, then you have the roadmap for making positive changes that move you forward. S...

Does your life feel like groundhog day, where you're just going through the motions day in and day out with little that brings you joy? Or maybe the troubles in your marriage weigh you down so much it's hard to find joy in the rest of your life. If so, this episode is for you. We are diving into the topic of how to create a more fulfilling life. No matter what circumstances you currently find yourself in, there is a perspective, way of thinking and being that can help you create more contentm...

When you read the words, Giving Up within the context of marriage, one idea may come to mind - ending the marriage. But before a couple ever gets to that point, there are other decision points where the action is to give up. In this podcast episode I break down the 3 most common ways I see people give up - on trying, on the process of help, and the marriage itself. For each, I break down the mindset and circumstances that lead to giving up, and the specific questions you want to ask yourself ...

If you've ever wondered, what is marriage coaching, and exactly how does it work to improve a marriage, this episode is for you. I share my own personal notes for how I move my clients from conflict and disconnection, to productive conversations and emotional closeness again. There are 10 very specific, concrete skills, shifts, and approaches we take inside my couples coaching programs. As you listen to me describe each one, assess in your own marriage, how well you are doing in these areas. ...

We live in a day and age where having a safety response plan is essential. I'm taking this idea and concept and applying it to your emotional and relational safety as well. In the podcast today we will be diving into the idea of a Trigger Response Plan - a set of steps you take when you are triggered that help you to process what's happening, understand what you need to feel better, and take the appropriate steps to resolve whatever has upset you. Having a process to handle your triggers in ma...

Would you consider yourself a curious person? Do you approach conversations with a desire to learn, and with an open mind? This is a superpower skills to bring to your marriage. In this episode of the podcast, I share with you the difference being more curious can make in the communication with your spouse. If you find that your current discussions are filled with defensiveness and finger pointing, practicing more curiosity will create more understanding and vulnerable conversations. I break ...

Are you at a place where the attraction you feel towards your spouse has faded? You're not alone. This is a common issue so many people face. In this episode of the podcast, I am breaking down exactly why this happens. It may seem like your spouse's appearance or their way of being is the reason you can't feel excited and attracted to them. But it's more than that. Tune in to this episode to learn which of the 5 culprits of fading attraction are actually at play for you. And if you are a woma...

Anger. It's an emotion so many of us feel. And when I speak to women who are trying to address their anger, it usually involves blaming others. As human beings we are wired to protect ourselves by NOT looking inside to find answers. It's easier to look at what other people are or are not doing. Yet, so often the REAL, CORE reason we feel anger in our lives has a lot to do with what I've defined as internal anger. The part of you that's angry at you. In this episode of the podcast I dive into t...

I wanted to make SURE your heard about my new Masterclass on June 26th. It's the Well Made Woman Masterclass and we are diving deep into how to stop self-sacrifice and how to implement healthy boundaries in your relationships and/or marriage. If you find yourself feeling angry and resentful, and are ready to start taking better care of YOU, this is the masterclass that sets that in motion for you. Get all the details, plus register for free here: https://drchavonne.com/wmwm/ This one hour wil...

We live in a culture that would have us wear self-sacrifice like a badge of honor. When we speak highly of others, it is usually touting how giving they are, how much they do for others, how they seem to accomplish so much. Rarely do we hear accolades for how well a person took care of themselves, how they set healthy boundaries, how they prioritized their needs and goals. Yet it is the latter that is associated with a greater sense of well-being, fulfillment, and happier, healthier relations...

As human beings, we are naturally curious and our mind will always want to ask the questions why. You can ask the question why in a way that empowers you or disempowers you. In this podcast episode I am breaking down why it's so important to ask WHY, and sharing with you a process to help you use this question to motivate you to actually create what you want. This is a powerful tool to shift your mindset, and to help you uncover the internal motivation that will best drive you to create more o...

When you experience challenges in your life or marriage it can be easy to become hyper-focused on what's going wrong. Your brain will naturally want to ruminate on how bad things are, how disappointed you are feeling, and how unhappy your situation is making you. However, the more you focus on what's going wrong, the more things go wrong. That's because your thoughts and beliefs direct your actions and responses. In this episode, I'm sharing the power of focusing on what you WANT as the way to...

One of the most important skills to develop toward the path of greater fulfillment in life is to be able to honor yourself. Honoring yourself is a beautiful act of self love. It's you standing for you. However, many people have the wrong idea of what this actually looks like. In this episode of the podcast, I break down the 3 mistakes I see happen, that create unnecessary conflict and disconnection in your marriage. I also leave you with 7 specific ways to honor yourself that are effective a...