Episodes

As human beings we are wired to judge. The idea of judgment helps us determine what is right and true for ourselves. It helps us discriminate and decide upon values, courses of action, and preferences. Inherently, it's not a bad thing. But in marriage, judgment often shows up as making yourself right and the other person wrong. This leads to communication issues, disconnection and conflict. In this episode, I'm tackling the topic of judgment, why it happens in the first place, as well as 4 spe...

Emotions can be a BIG deal in your marriage. Feeling angry, frustrated, sad or disappointed greatly influences the way you show up and interact with your spouse. Many times, my clients experience such intense emotions that it's hard to get out of them and take the loving actions that will created connection and forward progress. In this episode of the podcast, we dive into the experience of being "in your feelings" where you have an emotional block keeping you stuck in a state of conflict and...

One of the most common questions I get asked is "what do you do when your spouse doesn't see the problems in your marriage?" Today I'm answering that question in detail with exactly what will help you move forward to have a better experience in your marriage. Inside this episode you will understand WHY your spouse may have a blind spot, and how you can think about it in a way that leads to less frustration and disappointment, and actually helps you to connect with them and understand them bette...

Do you and your spouse take a long time to recover from certain arguments? In this podcast episode I'm diving into the topic of prolonged arguments - those times where one or both of you stay upset and in a state of conflict longer than you'd like. There are 5 main reasons this happens and it's important you understand exactly WHAT is contributing to this dynamic in your own marriage. I also share with you the three most important approaches that will help you repair quickly and get on to enj...

If you find yourself having conversations with your spouse that leave you feeling frustrated, unheard, and misunderstood, this podcast episode will shed important light on what's been going on. I'm diving into the most common examples of communication breakdowns I see in my coaching practice. Understanding EXACTLY where things veer off course will give your the necessary information to actually course correct and ultimately have more productive conversations that move you forward together on t...

In marriage, there will be things that trigger you. Your spouse will say or do something, and you have an intense emotional reaction. Reacting to triggers immediately can lead to arguments and conflict that spirals out of control. When most people are triggered, their mind focused on all the things the OTHER person is doing wrong. But in this episode of the podcast, I'm sharing with you the benefits and opportunities for you to go INWARD when you are triggered. I offer you the specific reasons...

How do you deal with things when it's not what you want? From the small things like a wrong or delayed order, to bigger things like major disappointments in your marriage - the way you decide to handle situations matters. In this episode of the podcast, I'm sharing both simple reminders and choice points you always have when things are not unfolding the way you would like. This episode will help you assess how you are currently processing unmet expectations or frustrating circumstances and sea...

Being busy is one of the most common distractions we use to keep us from truly connecting with ourselves. We pack our days with too many things that are not important, stress us out, or cause us to stretch ourselves too thin. One of the major reasons couples struggle in their relationship is a function of how much overwhelm they experience - often at their own hands. There is a psychology behind being busy. And learning how to break the addiction to always being on the go will improve your l...

If you'd like to solve some of your conflict for good, it's important that your get to the underlying core issues - these are the deeper needs, desires, values and expectations that drive you both, Couples are in conflict because they are being driven by opposing core issues. When you understand this, and are clear about your specific underlying issues, the way you handle arguments, and disappointments changes dramatically. In this episode, I share a process to help you uncover your underlying...

How often do you practice gratitude? It's the one thing that will give you the perspective you need in order to feel better, solve your issues at a higher level, and move yourself forward in a more positive direction. In this episode of the podcast, I"m diving deep into the process of gratitude and how you can use it as a power tool in your life. Whether you're feeling blah, struggle with issues in your life or marriage, or just want to give your emotions a good boost, these principles for ho...

If you want your marriage to improve, it requires an identity shift. Usually in both of you. You have to go from a couple in conflict, to a couple that sees themselves as a united team. In this episode of the podcast, I'm diving in to identity shifts. This episode airs on my actual birthday and I was reflecting on my identity this time last year, versus where I am this year. WOW. What a difference. Listen in as I share a simple process to create your own identity shifts and immediately step i...

How often are you thinking about and moving in the direction of what you want? Thinking about what you want is one of the most valuable uses of your time. When you focus on what you want, you give yourself the opportunity to create it. Your brain becomes more oriented to how it's possible vs. how it's not. In this podcast episode, we are diving into the 5 steps that help you tap into the goals and desires you have for your marriage so you can actually make them a reality. I also leave you wit...

Where were things in your marriage this time last year? Are they better, the same, or worse now? So many couples find themselves stuck dealing with the same thoughts, feelings and issues. In this episode of the podcast I talk through 4 questions you want to ask yourself to uncover and deeply understand why you are where you are. This is a deep and profound conversation to have with yourself, and asking these 4 questions will help you see what's been happening and also what's possible for you ...

Pettiness in marriage. Even as adults, we can go there sometimes. It seems justified, but rarely leads to the type of communication and connection we truly want. In this episode I'm breaking down the mindset of petty behavior, so you can understand why this way of showing up can sometimes be so tempting. I also provide you with specific strategies to overcome any petty tendencies in your marriage and offer you the pathway to a more mature, vulnerable and healthy way of working through your iss...

Whenever I am speaking on the topic of communication in your marriage, there are a series of questions that are commonly asked. This week on the podcast, I'm answering them for you. I dive into the following questions: What to do when your spouse is super defensive What to do when your spouse shuts down and refuses to talk about something How to stop being so angry when you bring things to your spouse What to do when your spouse is controlling your communication How to stop finger pointin...

Your communication is the FOUNDATION of your marriage. If you can't communicate effectively, you can't connect. And if you can't connect you have two people essentially living separate lives. In this episode, I have a special guest, and close coach friend, Julie Danielson join me for this co-podcast. Julie is a DIVORCE coach, yep you read that right. And the insight she shares about the communication breakdowns that were persistent issues in her clients previous marriages is enlightening. In t...

Today we are talking about challenges - specifically, when you commit to a certain set of actions for a defined period of time in order to achieve an important goal. Challenges can really support you in creating positive change in your life. And at this point in the year, you may have lost sight of a goal, or fallen out of the habits you are looking to change. This episode will give you the boost of motivation you need to get back on track. I'm sharing 3 different types ways to do a challenge,...

One of the most commonly sited skills couples mention needing improvement in is LISTENING. They can recognize their mutual inability to truly listen to understand each other, and notice how often they are listening to PROVE their point. In this episode of the podcast, we are diving into why this happens, and the specific steps you can take to become a better listener in your marriage. When you both are practicing this work, you elevate your conversations and are able to be more productive and ...

We are tackling a tough topic today. What's normal? It's a question I get asked so often and while what's normal is in many ways subjective. However, in my conversations with many couples and individuals, there are some common things I see happening (or hear about happening) that are outside the normal range of what's healthy in a relationship. In this episode, I break down the 5 most common not normal vs. normal behaviors and ways of interacting. It is my hope that after listening, you have a...

One of the reasons couples have a hard time communicating is because they are not appropriately prepared for all the directions a conversation can go. Often people come to me wanting to know how to handle certain situations that have happened and not gone well. The key is to learn from what went wrong and to focus your energy on the most important aspects of creating a positive interaction. Being prepared for anything requires you spend some time on the front end making decisions for how you ...

Happy Happy New Year! This podcast episode is a great conversation to have with yourself if you have ANYTHING in your life or marriage you want to be different in 2024. In it, I break down the 5 things you want to consider and think about in order to bring about lasting positive change. I also share some of the things I am doing differently, and an important goal I have for my own life this year. The freshness of a new year brings so many possibilities for newness. Tune in now to set yoursel...

It's that time of year! That interesting week between Christmas and the New Year. It's just quiet enough to reflect on what 2023 has been like, while also looking ahead to what you want in 2024. In this podcast episode, I give you the opportunity to assess for yourself, if you are truly ready for change. One of the reasons people find themselves stuck with the same issues year after year is because they embark on change in idea only. They have not truly determined that they are ready to take...

Today we are continuing to connect the dots between your childhood and your marriage. Your formative years growing up in your family set the stage for so much about how you operate in relationships. This is the case for both you AND your spouse. Understanding why you each think, react, and operate in various ways is so important. When you can trace much of those things back to childhood, the issues you face become less personal. You have a perspective of greater understanding. That awareness ...

Your childhood plays such an important role in how you experience and show up in your marriage. Your relationship with your primary caretakers sets the stage and template for the expectations you have and how you become accustomed to feeling around others. More often than not, these early experiences become the patterns that you subconsciously replicate over and over again. In this episode, I'm breaking down why understanding your childhood and having clarity on your specific attachment style ...