Episodes

To some extent, humans seem to have an innate fear of abandonment. When early life circumstances (divorce, neglect, etc.) cause a disruption to the child’s developing ego, chances are that the fear of abandonment can percolate through life creating anxiety, stress and dysfunctional relating. In this Self-Coaching episode, I discuss the origins of abandonment fear as well as the many manifestations it may take in adult life such as a heightened sense of insecurity, inability to trust, jealousy, e...

“I can’t find a job.” “I can’t lose weight.” “I can’t stop worrying.” Are you paralyzed by self-doubt or discouraged by lack of confidence? There’s no question that self-doubt and self-distrust will suppress your true potential for success and happiness. In this Self-Coaching episode, you’ll learn the attitude that’s necessary to effectively challenge and reverse your hesitations, paving the way for a more courageous path forward toward a more fulfilling life.Perhaps it’s time to become your own...

Through the years, I’ve been told by many patients entering therapy, “I don’t want to blame my parents.” This is especially true with loving—however misguided—parents. What’s the truth? Is it fair to point a finger of blame for your struggles on your mother or father? Or is it a cop out? A child grows up, in a sense, through the “eyes” of the parents. Parents dealing with their own neurotic issues will indirectly send an unsettling message to the young child that the world must not be such a saf...

Confucius once said, “man who stand on hill with mouth open will wait long time for roast duck to drop in.” Is this you? Are you passively waiting for life to deliver your happiness? Just plodding along, day by day, hoping that things will get better? Wishing that things were different? In this Self-Coaching episode, I discuss how you can determine what you need—really need— to have a happier more successful life. It all begins by learning to differentiate holistic, mature goals from misguided, ...

After struggling with the audio quality of my podcasts for the past couple of weeks, I’ve managed to almost survive the software update that caused all my problems. In this Self-Coaching episode, I discuss how difficult it is to change from the familiar devil-you-know, to the unfamiliar devil that you don’t. With change occurring faster and faster, we are all victims of constant change in life. For me, it’s a real burden (as you’ll hear) to abandon what has worked for years only to have everythi...

In this week’s Self-Coaching podcast, I discuss the importance of regaining self-confidence. Loss of confidence can happen gradually overtime due to an erosion instigated by insecurity or it can happen suddenly with a one embarrassing mishap. And once our confident attitude becomes corrupted with self-doubt, we are prevented from functioning at our true potential.Typically, low self-confidence is rooted in what we call performance anxiety, where a skill that was once mastered becomes sabotaged b...

One thing we all have in common as human beings, is the fact that life has its ups and downs. Emotional struggle is part of life—no one is spared. Whether it’s circumstantial challenges like losing a job, arguing with your partner, or worrying about a tax audit, life can often pound us with challenges. But sometimes, it’s not life challenges that hammer us, it’s our self-imposed challenges instigated by projections of insecurity or pessimism. In this Self-Coaching episode, I offer a visual that ...

Intuitively, we all have a sense of what’s normal and what isn’t. For example, if all of a sudden you feel your tooth aching, you certainly would feel that’s not normal—something’s wrong (abnormal). Same criteria can be applied to psychological disturbances. If, inexplicably, you begin to feel anxious and depressed, you would feel somethings wrong—not normal. Bottom line: emotional suffering is not normal In this Self-Coaching episode, I explore this concept of normalcy by describing psychologic...

Ruminative, worrisome thinking can lead to emotional friction, unwanted stress, anxiety, and depression. In this Self-Coaching episode, I discuss a simple ABC technique that will teach you to liberate yourself and your life from the burden of worry and stress.

In this Self-Coaching episode, I explore the emotional triggers and ingrained behaviors driving overindulgence. You can begin to retrain your brain, along with simple self-coaching techniques proven to break self-sabotaging cravings, compulsions, and emotional eating. These strategies will turn healthy eating into an effortless process of ongoing weight mastery. You’ll learn about the 3 enemies of weight loss: adverse circumstances; harmful emotions; destructive habits

Whether you have chronic or occasional difficulty falling asleep, it’s important to understand why falling asleep and staying asleep can become…well, a nightmare in itself. Have you ever wondered why our thoughts at night seem to come unhinged? Whether it’s fears, worries, or what-if thinking, nighttime can leave us feeling defenseless and victimized by our own thoughts. In this Self-Coaching episode learn how to quiet your mind, turn off stressful thoughts, and allow peaceful, restful sleep to ...

I believe it was Pascal who said that there is one true love and a thousand different copies. In this Self-Coaching episode, I attempt to explain the different manifestations of love while doing my best to get to what we call true love. And yes, I believe that true love isn’t a myth. It helps to think of love as an evolutionary engineered progression that begins with a hormonal, carnal desire we often refer to as lust, which can progress to what is often called romantic, infatuated love and even...

In this Self-Coaching episode, I introduce the notion that emotional suffering stems from psychological immaturity, preventing us from living up to our full potential. I realize this may feel insulting, especially if you suffer from anxiety or depression, however, I’m not talking about someone who acts immature, I’m specifically referring to someone whose psychological resources has been thwarted by regressive habits of insecurity. My contention is that emotional “maturity” requires that we tran...

“We have met the enemy and he is us.” (Pogo, 1970) If you or a loved one suffers from anxiety, depression, or emotional struggle this podcast can help. Emotional healing doesn’t have to be complicated or mysterious, not once you know the simple, straight-forward truth. Taking your life back from the struggles fueled by insecurity begins with an understanding of exactly what you need to be doing to reclaim your life from emotional turmoil. I’ve done my best to condense my Self-Coaching program in...

Are we hardwired to stimulate our brains? Think about it…do you ever just do nothing? If we’re not watching TV or paying bills, we’re either texting or eating…we’re always doing something. And doing something is more pleasing to the brain than doing nothing. The reason behind this is because of a neurotransmitter in our brain called dopamine. Dopamine is the ‘feel good’ chemical that creates reward-seeking habit loops in our brains causing us to repeat pleasurable behavior. In this Self-Coaching...

If you’re human, you’ve experienced fear. As a protective mechanism, fear has been pivotal to our evolutional survival. In our everyday world, the stakes are much lower, it’s not so much about survival from physical harm, but more about our emotional, “what-if” concerns and anxieties. But what if these emotional anticipations are, in fact, reality based, like getting fired, sued, audited, or finding out that your spouse is cheating on you? Although these aren’t actual survival threats, they are ...

Anyone growing up knows the pain of not being picked for a game of kick ball. It really is no different when you find out you weren’t invited to a wedding or when you didn’t land that job…you feel rejected! And rejection is painful. In fact, the pain of rejection is processed in the same part of your brain that processes physical pain. A broken heart isn’t far removed from a broken arm when it comes to the brain. In this Self-Coaching episode, I discuss why some of us have such a hard time recov...

Clearly, situational challenges can cause stress and friction—losing a job, the loss of a loved one. It's important to understand that circumstantial challenges are tethered specifically to a challenge or struggle, they are NOT self-induced. The question you need to ask is whether or not you're reacting to life—as it is—or to life contaminated by the doubt, fear, and negativity of the ‘Child Reflex’ or the guilt and expectations of living up to the internalized ‘Parent Reflex.' In this Self-Coac...

It’s a fact, some people are just plain annoying. Right? But do you really know if you may inadvertently be annoying others? In this Self-Coaching episode join me as I explore what psychologists call affective presence. Essentially, affective presence refers to our ability to influence and affect people around us. Learn the tell-tale signs of when people might be finding it difficult to be with you. To become more effective—and less annoying—you’re going to have to learn to read the psychologica...

Are you tired of holding yourself back, dreading the challenges you face each day, tip-toeing through life fearful of making mistakes or being embarrassed? Rather than swimming in self-doubt and lack of confidence, this Self-Coaching episode will offer you a plan that will enable you to engage your innate resources without your usual hesitations and fears. You’re going to learn an important, life changing lesson from a very determined frog.

I hate getting a cold! There, I’ve said it. Yeah, I’m a bit of a baby especially comparing myself to my wife who is much more stoic and accepting of such viral inconveniences. In my defense, through the years I’ve grown more tolerant—well somewhat more tolerant. But, hey, at least I don’t complain any more. Join me in this Self-Coaching episode as I explore a few ways not to let the common cold keep you, as they say, under the weather.

In this Self-Coaching episode, I offer you a self-coached, self-directed path that will allow you to begin the process of liberating yourself from needless emotional struggle. Whether it’s anxiety, depression, anger management, or simply embracing a more productive life, if you’re willing to embrace just three Self-Coaching techniques then, I can almost guarantee that you will be on your way to ‘unlearning’ the habits of insecurity that have inadvertently been ruling and ruining your life. After...

In this Self-Coaching episode, I explore the nature of psychological maturity. Although psychological maturity is a relative concept, understanding the elements that go into enhancing and advancing your own personal maturity will serve to help you have less stress, more happiness, optimism and the quality of life you’ve been missing. You’ll be introduced to various strategies, such as becoming more flexible, responsible, resilient, and more emotionally balanced as you begin to self-coach your wa...

I don’t know too many people who enjoy the approach of winter. I know even less people who loath the process of setting our clocks back to standard time—the dreaded end of daylight savings time! Aside from the abrupt disruption to our lives, schedules, and circadian rhythms, resetting our clocks twice a year has become a real pain in the keister. Join me in this Self-Coaching episode as I explore simple ways to make your transition to the darker days ahead less stressful. You might even want to ...