Episodes

Trigger warning: Domestic violence is discussed John Olander has a network of relationships all over Denver, and he is as tenacious as he is inspiring. But John experienced 20 dark years, crossing over the line from high-functioning alcoholism into self-inflicted, alcohol-fueled legal issues which led to homelessness and isolation. But he bounced back, and his is a true success story of letting go and leaning into community. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly ...

Blame serves a purpose when trying to heal from alcoholism as the drinker or the partner. But there are areas where blame does not belong. In this episode, Sheri and Matt break down the impact of blame, and discuss the foundational elements of recovering from the blame of addiction. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connectio...

Ayla Fleming is a licensed clinical social worker and telehealth therapist practicing in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York. Since specializing in helping individuals, couples, and families recovering from codependency related to addiction, her personal well-being, and that of her clients, is surging. To contact Ayla, please check out her website. And for more on Bowen Family Systems Theory, please click here. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductib...

Drinkers often becomes aware of the loss of identity associated with sobriety, but on this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the role of varying categories of identity as a cause of addiction. Sheri reveals her love of smiting people, and Matt explains his eagerness to meet in Topeka at 8am Monday morning. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could ...

The recovery community is full of resources about sex after alcohol for singles, but sober sex in relationships is a topic that has been ignored…until now. Nicole, Tess, and Alan are featured on this episode with input from eight people in recovery who have faced a variety of challenges with sex in sobriety. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery co...

Trigger warning: sexual assault and violence Unconsented sex occurs in relationships impacted by problematic alcohol consumption at a rate 18 times more frequently than in general population relationships. Sheri and Matt discuss this and other tragic statistics, and the implications for partnerships in recovery, as well as for our broader alcohol culture. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org If you...

It was not her choice. Kelly shared with her husband what she needed from the marriage, and he asked for a divorce. Sometimes boundaries and detachment are not enough for the drinker to seek recovery. But Kelly is working hard on her growth and recovery plan, and she is finding relief and peacefulness in a house free from the pain of addiction. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery p...

Attachment and connection are not the same thing. Detachment in a healthy relationship in recovery from alcoholism is a permanent state. If done with respect, consistency, and emotional safety, choosing times and topics for connection can help a partnership thrive. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. And if you live in the Boston area, please join Sheri and Matt for a sli...

You can almost hear the turquoise Caribbean waves lapping in the background of this conversation recorded live from the annual Marriagevolution retreat, this year in the Bahamas. Hear how things change over time, both in relationships and in families, as individual recovery progresses for former drinkers and their partners. Listen to Jenn talk about no longer feeling compelled to, “move around the words,” of her husband as he talks to their children. As a bonus, see if you can answer the Bahamia...

Marjorie is certified in trauma and addiction support, and she is a leader in our Echoes of Recovery program. On this episode, she helps Sheri and Matt understand that, “You can’t think your way out of emotions.” She also shares her sacred boundary that, “Kindness is something that I won’t negotiate.” Listen for these and other profound signs of growth, and learn the two meanings of the eggshells referenced in the episode title. If you would like to learn more about our SHOUT Sobriety program f...

The industrialized world is experiencing an epidemic of men who are unemployed or underemployed, not married or dating, living with their parents, and suffering deaths of despair. And the gender gap in higher education is greater than anyone ever imagined. The experts on the subject point to economic factors for the failure of men, but Sheri and Matt think the experts are missing a critical emotional piece of the puzzle they are trying to solve. Sheri and Matt are both huge, active supporters of...

Nikki speaks boldly and vulnerably about a wide variety of taboos sex subject. From sex-drive discrepancy after childbirth to feelings of sexual brokenness to the sloppy disconnected sex of active addiction to arguments that always seemed to come back to sex, Nikki’s experiences have something to which all of us can relate. Listen to Nikki tell the beautiful love story of the epiphany that got her and her husband back on track both emotionally and sexually. If you would like to learn more about...

Nervous system activation is often described as one of these four reactions: fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Sheri used all four tools to protect herself in her marriage to Matt during and after his active alcoholism. On this episode, the couple talks about how Matt misinterpreted Sheri’s reluctance to engage as a sign that she was waiting for his enlightened epiphanies. They also talk about steaming tomatoes and wind gusts in church. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could be...

The week between the holidays carries with it a cascade of emotions for people in a relationship experiencing active addiction or recovery. Sheri and Matt talk about the baggage this one-of-a-kind week used to carry with it, and the relative calm of lasting recovery. They also talk about antiquated payment methods, and a history of New Year’s Eve plans that will have you feeling good about your celebrations. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with...

Is self-control detachment? Sheri and Matt might debate the definitions, but they agree on the value of controlling the controllables around family at the holiday season. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

David Bird is a spiritual explorer with stories to tell about the hopelessness and lack of control of addiction, and the peace and freedom of knowing everything is going to be OK. Through major health scares and a variety of addictive substances, David has been through it all, and maintained humility despite so much interesting growth. If you are interested in engaging in conversations like this one with other people seeking the self-control of sobriety, please consider joining our SHOUT Sobrie...

Do you say or hear this question in your relationship? Sheri and Matt break down how sex drive fluctuates in both a short-term and long-term way, and discuss the impacts of addiction and recovery on the fluctuation. They also talk about navigating the fluctuations with mutual respect. Sheri and Matt talk about the comment on Matt’s new blog post, “I Might Be Getting Fired.” If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please che...

Tess has experienced a lot of intolerable alcoholic behavior. But like so many of us, Tess was conditioned to accept the unacceptable, and now she is fighting her way back. Tess is an outstanding mother and great storyteller who blesses us with some really relatable and heartbreaking experiences. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

Physical abuse and sexual abuse are more widely understood with societally agreed upon red lines that are not to be crossed. Emotional abuse, on the other hand, is less obvious and less universally understood. But it is every bit as dangerous, and that’s why Matt has started keeping an Emotional Safety Journal. Listen to the undisputable benefits of the ESJ, and consider joining Matt in his daily ritual. Speaking of daily rituals, this episode has a lot of toilet talk. Consider yourself warned. ...

Paige and Matt Robinson have survived Matt’s addiction to opiates and alcohol, and now they are doing a ton to help others, especially spouses, find their way out. Listen to how they managed the lies and hiding, and how they process resentments as their marriage thrives. To learn more about Paige and Matt and their work, please visit their website and check out their Till the Wheels Fall Off podcast, online community and recovery course for the spouses of people who have suffered from addiction....

Self-esteem building is critical to both the drinker and the loved ones in recovery from addiction. On this episode, Sheri and Matt explore the role deteriorating self-esteem plays in the spiral into addiction. They also talk about the time Sheri drank excessively to medicate her hatred of Fenway Park hotdogs, and Matt dismisses theater kids and musicians like an arrogant jock wanna be. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand...

We simply cannot live without trust. Trust is foundational to human existence, and Sheri and Matt talk about how naive alcoholics are who expect trust to return with short-term sobriety. They also discuss a real-life example of using detachment to navigate the untrustworthy. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.

If you have experienced religious trauma, work stress, marriage distress, alcohol use disorder or the problematic drinking of a family member, this conversation has something for you. Alan Thompson has experienced addiction in a painfully wide variety of ways, and he is bold and brave to talk about it with vulnerability and authenticity. If you are ready so start healing from your own drinking, please consider joining us in our SHOUT Sobriety program.

We are all familiar with the addictions that are associated with moral failings and a lack of willpower – stigmatized addictions to alcohol and other drugs, for example. But there are also addictions that are glorified in our society. Sheri and Matt discuss addiction to power control, and how there is a better path than trying to control something as uncontrollable as addiction. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please...