Episodes

Day 14 in isolation coronavirus isolation has my mind stressing, the amygdala, anion mal brain underneath the hippocampus, the thinking part of my brain. Looking around at the newspaper, it seems like there’s a lot of nutso animals on the prowl right now in our culture and around the world. And it’s a lot of stress. It creates this stress, it’s bad for MS, it’s bad for many things. Almost anything that’s wrong with you, you could do without some stress to deal with it, you know? So, people are...

A crash course in distance learning I recorded this message on lockdown. I can’t go anywhere due to the coronavirus pandemic and my multiple sclerosis condition. I’m in my house with my family, trying to educate my kids and keep their development on track. We’re taking a crash course in distance learning, e-learning, online education, or whatever it’s called, sooner than any of us thought. LOCKED DOWN in California. Using my wheelchair to get around the neighborhood. Spoke to the teacher in a ...

The orthotist came up with a second brace concept, and I went back for a fitting that left me feeling a bit dejected. She took a video of me walking in the examination room. She showed it to me after. It was framed from the knee down. Looking at it made me feel really disabled. I felt ashamed of myself. I felt sorry for myself. it was kind of nauseating. I looked at myself as an object. I felt disgusted. I apologized to her for walking so poorly. She was surprised. Raising an eyebrow, she told...

People are listening People are listening to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast. I even found some podcast statistics to prove it. More people listened than ever last month. They come from a lot of places around the world, and different places in the US. We’ll cover all of our podcast statistics in this episode of What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast, “Podcast Statistics.” Click below to read the transcript. begin transcript Yes! You are tuned in to the What’s the Matter With Me? Podcas...

In this episode, I went to get a new ankle-foot-orthotic (AFO) brace. basically, a rigid ankle brace. Things got emotional. BEGIN TRANSCRIPT Yeah! You are tuned in to the What’s The Matter With Me? podcast, “New AFO Brace.” What up! What’s The Matter With Me? In this episode, I went to get a new ankle-foot-orthotic AFO brace. Basically, it’s a rigid ankle brace. Things got emotional. But first, the What’s The Matter With Me? podcast is sponsored by Hoppin Hot Sauce, the best sauce in the wor...

Get The Whole Story: Please check the Microvascular Decompression tag page to hear all the updates about my MVD surgery. I had microvascular decompression surgery to alleviate trigeminal neuralgia, and now I’m in recovery again. BEGIN TRANSCRIPT Thank you for tuning in to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast “I’m recovering again”. It’s pretty windy. I am recovering from surgery again. I’m here at the back of my house. You can hear the chimes and the wind going through the Yuzu tree in my b...

I’m changing the format. Plus, listen to the new theme song for season 4! begin transcript All right. Thanks for tuning into the What’s the Matter With Me? Podcast, “Format Change.” This is the first episode. I guess you’d call it an episode. I have in the past. The first episode of the fourth season. For the last few years, I’ve been restarting the season at the beginning of the year, so I guess this is the fourth year of What’s the Matter With Me? Podcast. I’m restarting a season, season ...

I went to Costco on the Saturday before Thanksgiving. On accident, of course I didn’t think about it. I went to the Cantor Arts Center at Stanford University. I had to position myself to avoid the glare. The Rodin, they had “The Thinker”. So, I went into the gallery and saw that and I had to kind of position myself all around it. And because you have to spend so much, because I had to spend so much time positioning myself, I couldn’t do this kind of casual looking. It really changed the way I ...

I have a wheelchair and I busted it out over the weekend. It was kind of a big deal. I’ve never ridden around in a wheelchair before. We’ve talked about it before on the podcast that I’ve got the wheelchair, but also that I’m kind of apprehensive about riding around in a wheelchair. But I did it. I was with my family. I had gone to see my cousin Amy in the hospital where she’s recovering. We talked about that last episode. And then my wife who had been in nanny in San Francisco was like, “There’...

Check the Get The Whole Story: Please check the Microvascular Decompression tag page to hear all the updates about my MVD surgery. Welcome to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast, “grief and trauma” Overlapping grief and trauma and my new post-trigeminal neuralgia existence are causing anxiety and fear. My brain chemistry, the amygdala, stress, fight-or-flight part of my brain is throttling my hippocampus, which is the intelligent part of my brain. The fear and anxiety part of my brain is ge...

Get The Whole Story: Please check the Microvascular Decompression tag page to hear all the updates about my MVD surgery. I record this podcast to let people know when bad things happen you don’t have to quit. You can keep going. I’ve learned things along the way. I started out thinking that I was sick but now I know that I am in recovery. My life feels totally different now I have a lot more energy and I am much more present. I’m able to think complicated thoughts. BEGIN TRANSCRIPT JOHN HOPP...

Get The Whole Story: Please check the Microvascular Decompression tag page to hear all the updates about my MVD surgery. Notes So they were like, "Something is weird. We got to put the EKG on him." But I'm like a hairy individual, you know? So they got out the trimmers, they're like, "What?" They're just like, "What do we do?" ... she says to me, she's like, "Don't worry. After we're done, I'll shave the rest." I'm like, "Hell no you won't shave the rest of my chest. Are you kidding?" I think of...

Get The Whole Story: Please check the Microvascular Decompression tag page to hear all the updates about my MVD surgery. What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast Season 3, Episode 14 Excerpt: “Flapping My Arms” One thing I did notice about the last episode is that I’m flapping my arms again. I first figured out of it about flapping my arms in episode five: “and this is kind of joking, I guess. I get nervous, you know. You know, if you ever see me like making fart noise or flapping my arms, you know,...

Trigeminal neuralgia hurts like hell. I'm going to have micro vascular decompression surgery, get out of pain, get off these pain medications, and contribute to my family again. I signed up to have surgery. They’re going to pop a hole in my skull and operate on my trigeminal nerve. It’s called micro vascular decompression surgery. BEGIN TRANSCRIPT John Hoppin: What's The Matter With Me? Podcast, thank you for tuning in. Season three, episode 12, maybe? Maybe 13. I always get the episode wrong in...

wtmwm s3 e12 i awoke up this morning to a familiar nausea. i’d forgotten to take my pills the night before. still can’t get it straight. got me thinkin’…. this podcast – like me – is disabled. not only a podcast about disability or adversity, CHALLENGES or perserverance, this podcast itself is disabled maybe i shouldn’t call it a podcast. but, it’s too late something not quite right. am i doing it wrong? cycles – recently, i’ve become waylaid in a cycle that whipsaws between extreme pain a...

Pain / Withdrawal Cycle Swallowing Evaluation AKA Diagnostic Fluoroscopy Had pain and went to the Nurse Practitioner .. Medication (mis-)management traps me in the the pain & withdrawal cycle. Read more for my visit to the nurse practicioner, diagnostic fluoroscopy, postlude with John John & more. BEGIN TRANSCRIPT JOHN HOPPIN: Welcome to the What’s the Matter with Me Podcast, season three, episode 11, the pain withdrawals cycle. I’m always in some kind of recovery. I saw the nurse practition...

Google’s Project Euphonia helps disabled people communicate Five weeks of mayhem, pain and drug withdrawal ALSO, Five Weeks of Mayhem, Pain &Drug Withdrawal (Picking up the pieces) TRANSCRIPT JOHN HOPPIN: Welcome to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast Season Three, Episode 10: Disability Technology. Coming up, Google’s Project Euphonia helps disabled people communicate. I have five weeks of mayhem, hell, pain, and drug withdrawal. I’m not kidding. It blew up my life. Stay tuned. Welcome...

“Face hurts … Tomorrow is Koko’s 3rd Birthday” Man!– I have trigeminal neuralgia, my face hurts. Ow! The kids had to go away, it hurt so bad I couldn’t handle it and I freaked out. I’ve been staring at plants in the garden. I grilled chicken for the whole family, had dinner and couldn’t eat it, because my face hurt. Tomorrow is Koko’s third birthday. Welcome to What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast, Season three, Episode nine: “Happy Birthday, Koko” Welcome to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podca...

In this episode, I participate in Walk MS as a walker and also as the MC. Later, I post to Reddit and it goes pretty well, even though I use the wrong word. Show notes Welcome to What’s the Matter with Me? Season 3, Episode 8: “Walk MS MC.” Coming up in this episode: last weekend I did Walk MS, I had a fundraising goal, and I raised more money than that. It was awesome. There were a lot of people with MS. I was the MC there. I stood on stage with a microphone. I posted on Reddit again, but I ...

Welcome to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast, Season 3, Episode 7: It’s My 40th Birthday Coming up in this episode: pain and anxiety, brain damage, the beauty of nature. Hanging out in the backyard, it’s my 40th birthday. I’m thankful to be here processing my emotions and symptoms. Come hang out with me. My name is John, I’m 39 years old, husband, and father of two, small-business owner, radio DJ, podcaster, and I have multiple sclerosis. So I made the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast t...

Welcome to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast, Season 3, Episode 6: Social Isolation In which: I deal with social isolation, get interrupted by a real estate broker, I’m uninspiring, and I come out against disability porn. I realize I need a scooter again, and the National MS Society support will help. My name is John, I’m 39 years old, husband, and father of two, small-business owner, radio DJ, podcaster, and I have multiple sclerosis. So I made the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast to s...

Welcome to the What’s The Matter With Me? Podcast: Season 3, Episode 5: Matrix of Domination Coming up, I’m afraid to get a scooter because I fear my own disability, I get ready to emcee for Walk MS, and try to understand my place in society vis a vis Race, Gender, Class, and Ability. My name is John, I’m 39 years old, husband and father of two, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster. I have multiple sclerosis, so I make this podcast to share what I’m going through. What’s The Matter With M...

Welcome to the What’s the Matter With Me? Podcast, Season 3, Episode 4, Mobility Assistance, in which we go on a trip to Sacramento where I finally admit to myself that I need a scooter, plus fictional characters with MS. I made some new tunes and more. Stay tuned. Check it out. My name is John. I’m 39 years old, husband, and father of two, small business owner, radio DJ, podcaster, and I have multiple sclerosis, so I made this podcast to share what I’m going through. What’s the Matter With Me...

In this episode we’ll go through getting an infusion infusion noun the slow injection of a substance into a vein or tissue. Google Dictionary I was due for my Rituxan infusion, my primary multiple sclerosis (MS) medication, on January 4th. I called a week ahead. I needed to get bloodwork at a lab and approval from the insurance company. The bloodwork was no problem but the approvals were difficult. I had to be persistent. Before I knew it, I was already a month and a half late. I worried that...