Episodes

It's one thing to lay down an addiction, but it needs to be replaced with something more life-giving. This episode is about taking your sobriety further on a daily basis through relationship with God/your Higher Power. We offer practical ways to accomplish this, as well as cautions for rebuilding trust after betrayal, lies and abuse. Episode Summary: -Step 11 of the 12-Steps (Increasing your conscious contact with God & praying for HIS will and HIS Power) -One difference between prayer and me...

We all mess up, but after betrayal trauma and lies, but if an addict wants to rebuild trust, they have to be prompt about making things right. This episode covers a few techniques to make this an easier process. It also covers how Lori knows Jay's character changed. Episode Summary: -Step 10 of the 12-Steps -How to avoid the slippery slope -One way to rewire the addicted brain Timestamps: 0:00 Intro to Step 10 (Continuing to take a personal inventory and when I'm wrong…) / This should be d...

Episode Summary: -Step 9 of the 12-Steps -How to handle the exception written in the step -The most sincere form of an apology -Excuses people make to not do this step Timestamps: 0:00 Intro to Step 9 (making direct amends) 1:28 The exception explained 2:43 One caution when you feel free afterward / Disclosure specifics

Whether it's through betrayal, trauma, abuse or lying, addictions can cause a lot of harm. In this episode, Jay and Lori cover the first step to making it right, as well as what to do if you're not ready to. Episode Summary: -Step 8 of the 12-Steps -The first steps in making amends -Cautions if you're not ready to make things right -God can change our "want to's" Timestamps: 0:00 Intro and explanation of Step 8: We made (this list) 2:16 "Just because I'm willing, doesn't mean…" & Jay's p...

It'd be great if God just took the desire for our addicts away, but we rarely see that in our line of work. This episode covers what to do instead, as well as special things to consider after lying and betrayal. In this episode we cover: -Step 7 of the 12-Steps -What true humility looks like -God doesn't just take it away Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 1:38 If you have to ask about it then… / The middle part of the 12-Steps 2:22 Getting to where we're humble enough to ask without… / It's not lik...

Porn addiction, betrayal and lies can wreck a couple. An addict has to be ready to release his old coping mechanisms. Jay and Lori also cover their experience with addiction and fear, as well as what surrender looks like. They also address the difference between Savior and Boss. Timestamps: 0:00 Intro & Step 6 (Preparing for this…) 1:55 "Being entirely ready" means getting rid of 'tools' that help only me 3:08 Jesus appears to ask a stupid question but it applies to addicts*** 4:52 But thos...

https://youtu.be/AVX0smOj4-g Watch video on YouTube here: This Step is about addicts not lying to themselves anymore—and not hiding the truth about themselves—anymore. It's about getting real, and why. In this episode we cover: -Step 5 of the 12-Steps -How there are different layers to addiction and lust -What else needs to be faced regarding lust if an addict is to get free Timestamps: 0:00 Intro & sin (the "big book" vs. the Bible) 2:24 How this step relates to getting closer to God, ...

Withholding information (also known as lying) is common, especially with porn and sex addicion. That's why this step is crucial to healing, both for the addict, and for the one who's been lied to and sexually betrayed. In this episode we cover: -Step 4 of the 12-Steps -A searching and fearless moral inventory -The more you write out, the more freedom you will experience Timestamps: 0:00 Intro to Step 4: Listing where they were out of integrity (and one easier way to do this) 2:54 What to ...

Hello Our latest video is down below, but as an FYI… We will be on a live Q&A tonight as part of a summit sharing tips on managing emotions, disclosure, separation, reconciliation and beyond in an online summit called Renew. The Q&A is happening at 7pm Eastern tonight (May 12), and we hope you can be there. Also, our individual interviews air at these times: Lori's goes live on Saturday, May 15th at 4pm Eastern. This talk covers: giving anger 90 seconds and how different levels of 'gettin...

This episode covers: Step 2 of the 12 Steps / Believing in a Power greater than ourselves / The root of the problem. Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 1:09 Pornographically addicted 1:32 Step 2 - Restore me to sanity 1:59 Jay gets self-righteous 2:53 Hurt in the name of

Here's our latest episode, which covers: -Step 1 of the 12 Steps -How it reflects the steps toward God -What Jay and Lori see in their clients Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 0:34 What this season is based on 2:04 Step 1's key phrases 2:27 What Jay sees with the guys he works with 3:02 A different perspective on our powerlessness 3:57 The difficulty Jay had with this step 5:35 How some addicts deal with this 6:28 The "disobedient dog" in Jay

Here's our latest episode, which covers: -What happened to Jay and Lori in 2020, including run-ins with the IRS -A behind-the-scenes look at how they celebrated their 25th Anniversary Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 0:22 Preview of Season 3, and Jay's history with it 1:37 What Lori will be covering/cautioning in Season 3 2:18 For those who've been through betrayal trauma (look for the "S") 2:59 Where were we in 2020?

Hello everyone. In this episode we cover: -A quick recap of the season on Betrayal Trauma -Jay and Lori's favorite episodes -This season's blooper reel Timestamps: 0:00 Intro 2:50 What this episode is about: a recap & joy (and Lori being stupid : ) 0:48 If you've been betrayed 1:06 Guys, imagine if your wife…

In the last full episode of Season 2, we talk about a not-so-fun reality that exists in many areas of our nation: Injustice through Systems of Oppression. BUT we also share something you can do if you find yourself on the receiving end of injustice.

This one starts out talking about the partner's anger at God (it might just be something else). Then we talk about the addict's anger at God, himself… and the wife. And what he should do if he's angry with the wife.

This is a continuation of the last episode where we're covering how Lori responded to those who objected to how we've recovered. This exchange, however, got a little nastier than the last one.

In this episode we give an example of how to respond to someone who is gentle, yet still misunderstanding the issues involved after betrayal.

Submission in marriage is regularly misunderstood, so this episode discusses what God meant it to look like in marriage… and what it might look like after betrayal.

This episode covers THE thing that can make a situation go from bad to traumatic. We also discuss things that can make the process less damaging for you.

This is one we threw together after a movie one night. The room (and Lori) are a mess, but you may find the content helpful. Thanks to the movie Breakthrough and Chrissy Metz for her powerful acting as the inspiration to our video.

This is one we threw together after a movie one night. The room (and Lori) are a mess, but you may find the content helpful. Thanks to the movie Breakthrough and Chrissy Metz for her powerful acting as the inspiration to our video.

Jay and Lori discuss self-deception and lies. Why do betrayers do this? Why did Jay lie to Lori? They also cover some things you can do to overcome these behaviors and get to a better place.

Lori holds Jay's feet to the fire on one of his past beliefs. Then we speak directly to the guys.

Women tell me the lying is worse than the sexual integrity issue. Jay goes into the first lies he ever told, and Lori shares what she thought when he'd lie about certain things. He even shared some brand new truth the day of this recording.