Episodes

Understanding Sexual Shame, an interview with Rahim Thawer In this episode we dive into the complex terrain of sexual shame, and explore coming into a more compassionate relationship with shame. In conversation with therapist, social worker and thought leader Rahim Thawer, we talk about the social experience of shame, the ways we protect and defend against the experience of shame, and how we can create pathways towards more pleasure and joy. Visit PleasureMechanics.com/Shame for curated resour...

Sometimes instead of heating it up and throwing more gas on the fires of arousal, we need to chill out and cool it down. Cool down is an essential part of the pleasure cycle that we don’t often pay attention to or develop skills around – so sometimes cooling down can feel more like throwing a cold bucket of water on a roaring fire. How do we cool down and yet stay in connection, and keep our embers burning so we can warm it up again when the time is right? In this podcast episode, we explore co...

Just hold me! Sometimes, just being held in full loving presence is exactly what is needed. In this episode we explore the erotic power of holding and being held, holding still, self-holds, a pause during arousal, holding one another in a long hug, and even holding one another in compassionate conversation or quiet presence! Being held is a deep luxury that we can all experience and generate for ourselves and one another. In this episode we share lots of practical strategies and explorations so...

“I want more romance” and “I want more romantic sex” are themes in many of the emails we receive from our listeners, and while the yearning for “more romance” is so common, what each individual means by this phrase and what it would look like to experi...

Are you or your partner too ticklish to touch? When you try to relax into massage, do you instead feel jittery, anxious, nervous or ticklish? Do you tend to get overwhelmed when trying to get aroused? If any of this feels familiar, this episode is for you! No one is “too ticklish to touch” no matter how persistent this experience is, there are strategies to guide the body into relaxing into touch and arousal. In this episode we share ways to talk about being too ticklish to touch, how to create...

In this episode we are in conversation with Shango Los, host of the Shaping Fire podcast, about the connections between cannabis, pleasure and erotic intimacy. Thanks to Beducated for sponsoring this episode. To explore their full library of erotic education, visit http://beducate.me/pleasure or use the code PLEASURE for 65% off the yearly pass. We explore the relationship between cannabis and pleasure, and how we humans can deepen our connection with the plant itself, and with one another by ...

In this interview with sex therapist and podcast host Nicoletta Heidegger, we explore the terrain of troublesome turn-ons – when what we desire also causes us distress, worry or is perhaps illegal or even impossible to fulfill. Troublesome Turn-Ons are the desires that not only excite us, but cause anxiety, fear, shame, guilt or concern we will act out or cause harm. In this episode we explore how to turn towards our troublesome turn-ons with more self-compassion, understanding of the human sex...

Ignite your erotic touch skills, activate your hands during sex and uplevel every aspect of your sex life! Every erotic experience can be made more pleasurable by the simple act of bringing in more touch – using your hands to touch every inch of your lover’s body, especially during high arousal acts like oral sex or intercourse. How do you use your hands during sex? Ready to ignite your erotic touch skills? Tune into this free podcast episode to discover how. We’ve taught tens of thousands of l...

If you want more sensation, arousal and pleasure, activate and sensitize your erogenous zones! In this free podcast episode we dive deep into where the erogenous zones are, how you can awaken and activate them and specific steps to develop sexual responsiveness in any area you choose. The body is rich with nerve endings ready to transmit sensation – but experiencing pleasure lighting up your erogenous zones, creating full body arousal and building towards orgasm, takes practice and focused atte...

On this tender and compassionate episode, we talk about claiming an erotic life beyond intercourse, if penetration is not available for any number of reasons, for any length of time – how can we explore, connect and enjoy a fulfilling sex life without intercourse or penetrative sex? We hear from listeners all the time with any number of life changes that take intercourse off the menu and force the question of “what now?” – from prostate conditions to cancers of all kinds, from lichen sclerosus ...

Many people crave big penetration, fisting, double penetration and other forms of being “filled up” and yet often these desires go unexplored due to shame, fear or lack of knowledge and know-how. In this podcast episode we dive deeper into our Playing ...

There is so much more to penetration than the in and out stroke we all know all too well. In this rousing episode we explore all the ways to pleasure and play internally during penetration. From techniques to create all new ranges of sensation to the emotional experience of deep penetration, this episode opens up the conversation on how to have more pleasurable and profound penetrative play. Want to explore the techniques of pleasurable penetration? Enroll in our Erotic Touch Mastery online cou...

Penetration is amongst many people’s favorite erotic acts, but also one that has been severely limited and disrespected by the historical scripts of intercourse. There is SO much more possible beyond repetitive in-and-out intercourse.

The Masturbatory Assist is a game changing strategy that unlocks way more pleasure, intimacy and shared joy in relationships. In this free podcast episode we explore how you can use the Masturbatory Assist to create more closeness in long term relationships, long distance relationships, and relationships with “mismatched libidos” or when one partner is not available for partnered play. When one partner is horny and the other is not, the Masturbatory Assist creates an option beyond rejection or ...

If you are bored with sex, stuck in a rut or ready to explore beyond traditional sex scripts, this episode is for you. We explore how to start expanding your erotic horizons, explore your desires, initiate vulnerable conversations and grant yourself permission to try new things, in and out of the bedroom. Be sure to explore the resources here in the show notes to start exploring in your own life – put our principles into practice and discover what is possible for you, right now. Become a membe...

This podcast episode is an invitation into the lifelong process of curating your erotic expression and exploring your creativity. In this episode we look at erotic expression specifically through the lens of the toys, tools, accessories and costumes we bring into our erotic realms. This includes everything from lingerie and clothing to toys and kink tools, to how we decorate our bedroom and adorn our bodies. Continue The Conversation With These Speaking of Sex Podcast Episodes * Getting Off Sc...

Getting off script means confronting the social scripts, expectations and norms that have shaped who we understand ourselves to be, in and out of the bedroom. Getting off script requires us to examine our social identities, both assigned and chosen, and determine where we have more agency to express more of who we are and want to be. In this episode we tackle this complex yet necessary task of getting off script and getting more real with who we are as specific humans and erotic beings. Getting...

What is a Power Bottom? What does it mean to Power Bottom? Can anyone be a Power Bottom? Does power bottoming mean you have to also be a size queen? We explore all these questions and more in this free podcast episode, the Power Bottom Playbook. Being a power bottom is all about receiving with pride and being an active receiver. Power Bottoming is not specific to any one sexual act or experience and is certainly not about size of penetration. Being a Power Bottom is fundamentally about embodyin...

If triggers are the cues that send our body into stress and survival mode, glimmers are the antidote. Glimmers are our invitations back home into a state of calm, safe social belonging. Glimmers are moments that remind us to return to pleasure, rest, calm and connection – no matter how big the storm around us. Glimmers are cues of safety, and thus as different for each of us as trauma triggers are to survivors. To explore your Glimmers, think about where you have felt most safe, held and connec...

In this episode we speak with Jamila Dawson, LMFT and August McLaughlin, authors of the new book With Pleasure: Managing Trauma Triggers for More Vibrant Sex and Relationships. We cover the basics of what trauma is, the lifelong impact of trauma, how trauma disrupts our safety and social belonging, what triggers are (and are not!) and how we can all develop strategies to manage our triggers and trauma so we can live well, enjoy a vibrant sex life and deepen in all of our relationships. For mor...

What does it take to design the ultimate handjob machine? Can a device really deliver smooth satisfying strokes? How can we keep the Sex in SexTech? In this special episode of Speaking of Sex, we speak to Jens Petter Wilhelmsen, founder of the company behind The Handy, the world’s most innovative and satisfying stroking device. In this episode we cover what it takes to design a pleasure tool that truly delivers effective stimulation, while accounting for the wide range of human bodies and desir...

Sex toys and pleasure tools range from simple devices to elaborate machines, from mild to wild, from tools to assist in comfort and reduce pain to toys that create extraordinary sensations – the world of pleasure tools is boundless! In this episode we invite you to explore the wide world of pleasure tools, clear up myths about sex toys and invite you to explore the specific toys and tools that will work best for what you want to experience. Find your next favorite sex toy or pleasure tool at Sh...

Want a hotter sex life? Then keep it warm, so it is easier to get hot! In this episode, we explore how to “warm up” to eroticism in your daily life, so you can experience more warmth and vitality, enjoy more pleasure and connection – and, when the time is right, get hot and experience yourself set aflame! We cover warming up your erotic context, finding the solo warm up practices that work best for you, and how to warm one another up for each erotic encounter. Ready to master the art of eroti...

Afterglow is one of the most enjoyable parts of pleasure – but we often rush through or skip over this phase entirely. In this episode we explore how to bask in the afterglow, extend the afterglow and even how to mine the erotic wisdom that is only ava...